Category: 2nd Marriage

‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.’ Proverbs 13:12(NLT)

‘No, the wisdom we speak of is the mystery of God —his plan that was previously hidden, even though he made it for our ultimate glory before the world began. But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would not have crucified our glorious Lord. That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. ‘ 1 Corinthians 2:7-11(NLT)

It happened when you and your spouse first got serious when you were dating. Or maybe when you were engaged. Most certainly when you were first married.   

 

You dreamed together.

 

When the future is laid out before us, we can very easily cast our creativity into that future and imagine what it will be like. The places we will go together, the things we   will do together, the houses we’ll buy and the kids we’ll make who will fill those houses.

 

But just as often, the more the future becomes a reality, we can stop dreaming together. We can look to the more knowable present and live there. Sometimes, the future can even look scary and we can lose hope.

 

God wants us to hope, though! The Bible is full of hope! And the couple that dreams   together is all the more likely to stay together through both the fat and the lean times.

 

So today, take some time to reflect on the idealistic dreams you had when you first met. Reclaim that idealism and prayerfully dream together once more. With God, anything is possible.

from 7 Days To Open Up Your Life

‘Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor. Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.’ Proverbs 18:12-13(NLT)

‘Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ‘ James 1:19(NLT)

You know what’s easy? Talking.

 

You know what’s not so easy? You’ve probably already guessed.

 

Listening isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, especially when you already have so many things to say, but when it comes to loving your spouse creatively, active listening is one of the best things you can do.

 

Sometimes we think “listening” means “not talking” or, worse, “waiting for them to stop talking so I can finally say what I want to.” No, listening to your spouse—really   listening to them—is as much a spiritual practice as it is a communication practice.

 

When you actively listen to your spouse, you’re engaging with them emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Because sometimes, in the midst of listening, the Lord can prompt you to hear something special, something that, when the time comes, you can speak into. Or maybe you just need to hear something so that your understanding of your spouse gets deepened.

 

You’ll go so much deeper and build so much more foundational relationship with your spouse if you listen first, so make listening your default position and watch the creativity flood into your relationship.

from 7 Days To Open Up Your Life

‘A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.’ Proverbs 17:22(NLT)

‘Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.’ Philippians 4:4-5(NLT)

Building intimacy in marriage is hard work—you might as well have a little fun along the way!

 

(And no, that doesn’t necessarily mean sex [though it doesn’t not mean sex!]).

 

No, joy and laughter together build intimacy. When you first fell in love with your spouse, it’s entirely likely that you bonded over laughter. Making someone laugh is often one of the first things that attracts us to someone.   

 

But over time, as the day-in, day-out work of marriage becomes the month-in, month-out and then the year-in, year-out work, it’s easy to forget to laugh.

 

So if you haven’t laughed with your spouse in a while, seek to find out why. Is there a conflict between the two of you? Or has life just gotten in the way?

 

Once you have it diagnosed, get creative and laugh again. Watch a funny movie or television show. Play (harmless!) pranks on one another. Get in a pun war. Do whatever: just start laughing and let the joy build and build.

from 7 Days To Open Up Your Life  

‘Give freely and become more wealthy; be stingy and lose everything. The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.’ Proverbs 11:24-25(NLT)

‘God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.’ 1 Peter 4:10-11(NLT)

Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, and other gift-giving occasions are great—especially if giving and receiving gifts is one of your love languages. And while it’s a blessing both to give and receive gifts, we can sometimes wind up importing our practical thinking about gifts into our spiritual thinking about them.

 

See, the fact is: you’ve been given a gift. God has blessed you with various gifts and talents. But the other fact is this: unlike Christmas gifts, the gifts God has given you aren’t for you—they’re for others!

 

And who better to give your gifts to than your spouse!

 

So here’s your challenge for today: do you know your spiritual gifts? If so, how can you use those to serve your spouse today? Just like you would serve your community, or your church, or your kids, serve your spouse with your spiritual gifts today and see what happens!

from 7 Days To Open Up Your Life

‘Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need.’ Proverbs 21:13(NLT)

‘As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:31-33(NLT)

One of the most profoundly powerful tools we have in marriage—and one of the most profoundly lacking in many relationships—is empathy.

 

Empathy isn’t just trying to see things from your spouse’s point of view—it’s the act of imagining yourself in their shoes. Feeling what they feel. Hearing what they hear. Creatively putting yourself in their frame of mind—with all the life story they’ve lived up to that point—so you can better understand them.

 

This isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Fortunately, you have God on your side! Ask Him to help you empathize with your spouse, because that’s when you really start to achieve unity with them.

 

Because of what it asks of your imagination and your emotions, empathy is ultimately one of the most creative acts you can undertake in your marriage. The more you try it, the more you will begin to understand your spouse and find a thriving unity between the two of you.

 

Give empathy a try today and see what happens.

from 7 Days To Open Up Your Life

‘He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel. The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.’ Psalms 103:7-14(NLT)

‘“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”’ Luke 6:37-38(NLT)

Today’s passage from Luke is a very famous passage when we talk about money, but one of the many great things about the Bible is that it has subtle applications outside of what you see on the surface.

 

Have you ever needed forgiveness in the past? Do you need forgiveness now, in the   present? Will you ever need forgiveness in the future? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then the creative key to receiving that forgiveness is to start giving it away.

 

This isn’t often easy. Hurt and pain are real, and when you feel them, it’s worth paying attention to those feelings and honoring them. But it’s also true that you won’t move past them until you forgive. And then you can deal with the consequences of the behavior that hurt you—or the way you hurt your spouse.

What are some creative ways you can extend forgiveness to your spouse today?   

from 7 Days To Open Up Your Life

‘Take control of what I say, O Lord , and guard my lips. Don’t let me drift toward evil or take part in acts of wickedness. Don’t let me share in the delicacies of those who do wrong. Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.’ Psalms 141:3-5(NLT)

‘Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.’ Ephesians 4:2-4(NLT)

Communication is quite possibly the most important tie that binds together a   successful marriage. But an important aspect of communication—one that’s known by anyone who makes communication a part of their everyday world—is that effective communication happens when you speak in a way that your audience will hear you.

 

Are you and your spouse communicating? Are you trying to communicate with   them in a way they will hear what you have to say?

 

Another key aspect of communication is that it’s about more than just talk. You can communicate in the tone of your voice, in the expression on your face, in the ways you do and don’t interact throughout the day. Even just choosing to be in the same room as your spouse is telling them something about you—and about the way you think about them.

 

What are some ways you can communicate creatively—other than talking—with your spouse today?

from 7 Days To Open Up Your Life