Category: 1st Marriage

‘Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. ‘ Galatians 6:7(NLT)

‘Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction. The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.’ Proverbs 18:20-21(NLT)

‘Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.’ James 3:2-6(NLT)

‘Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.’ Galatians 6:8-10(NLT)

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. (Galatians 6:7)

One of the most important principles in Scripture is that of sowing and reaping. From the beginning of Creation until now, the law of seedtime and harvest has been in operation, affecting every aspect of our life here on earth. For instance, in the agricultural world, in the animal kingdom, and even in human reproduction, we easily can understand how a seed implanted will produce a harvest. But do you realize the principle of sowing and reaping is always in progress in your marriage as well?

Your mouth is a seed warehouse. Words are some of the most powerful seeds you sow; they are so powerful they can have a disproportionate effect on your marriage. By that I mean your words have the ability to affect your spouse and marriage more than almost anything else (see Proverbs 18:20-21; James 3:2-6).

In addition to the words you speak, your actions and attitudes are also seeds that are being sown into the lives of those around you. And they will produce a harvest, whether good or bad. Inconsequential behavior simply does not exist.

Here is how the Apostle Paul puts it: For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. (Galatians 6:8-10)

When you notice attitudes, words, or behaviors in your spouse that make you unhappy, you need to consider the fact that to some degree you may be responsible for the negative behavior. It’s possible that you are reaping the results of what you have sown into your husband’s or wife’s life.

Of course, the same law of sowing and reaping applies when good seeds are sown. You can kill off a bad crop by simply repenting before God and your spouse for your negative words and actions. Then begin planting a new crop by carefully and purposefully sowing good seed in your marriage and all areas of your life. Your harvest then will be a good one! It may not be an instant harvest, but it is a guaranteed one.

Talk It Out | What kind of seeds are you sowing into your marriage? Repent to each other for any negative words or behavior, and talk about specific ways to change the negatives into positives.

Walk It Out | Speak out loud what the Bible says about your spouse and your marriage. Look up verses that tell of God’s blessings, and speak God’s Word over your situation. That seed has the power of God to make a profound impact in every area of your relationship.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.’ Philippians 4:7(NLT)

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)

I was at a hotel recently, and while I was checking in at the reception desk, the young lady who was helping me regularly answered the telephone and broke away from helping me to solve someone else’s problems. I have to admit, that is one of my pet peeves.

My belief is that the person who is standing before you in the flesh should take priority over someone who is calling on the phone. But in most cases—in hotels and other businesses—it is the opposite.

Likewise, I know of many people who are completely frustrated by the constant intrusion of other people into their spouse’s lives through technology. It has become a major
issue in our world today. Whether it is a cell phone call, text message, email, Facebook friends, Twitter or something else, we are being bombarded by outsiders trying to get into our lives. Just like my experience in the hotel, in many cases, the one we are with is put on hold for the one calling in.

The result in many marriages is frustration and feelings of rejection. Many spouses feel as if there is virtually no time, no place, and no person that is protected from these intrusions.

To address this growing problem, we need to first of all go back to the issue of good manners. It is simply bad manners to allow someone to intrude upon our conversations and important time together.

Make technology your servant and not your master. You need to remind yourself that you can survive without being constantly connected to everyone else at all times. In fact, you must have times when you disconnect and keep others away. Call it a “technology time out” or “electronic Sabbath.” Just do it.

I am very connected electronically and use a cell phone and email regularly throughout the day, but not at night and not when I’m spending important time with Karen. When we are together, we will many times not answer phone calls out of respect for each other. We realize the fact that we must manage the blessing of technology or it can become a curse.

Talk It Out | Does your spouse know that he or she is a priority and won’t be at the mercy of the next phone call, text message, or email? Talk about ways to prioritize and show honor to each other, and about how to keep electronic intrusions from damaging your relationship.

Walk It Out | Spend time together in the evenings without any intrusions or distractions—no TV, cell phones, computer, etc. Use this time for uninterrupted conversation, or just snuggle on the couch and enjoy each other’s company.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.’ Proverbs 25:11(NLT)

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. (Proverbs 25:11)

Have you ever wondered why manners are so important? Well, for one thing, manners preserve relationships. That’s right. When manners are lacking, people may feel violated and relationships can be threatened.

This is especially true in a marriage relationship. In fact, when the honeymoon phase of a marriage comes to a close, emotions may begin to deteriorate if a couple fails to display basic manners toward one another.

Let me give you several examples. When two people begin dating, they typically display very good manners, right? They show appreciation by saying “thank you”; they show consideration by being sensitive and courteous to each other; the man shows care for the woman by opening doors for her; and so on.

As the relationship progresses, it is often typical for a husband and wife to begin to take each other for granted and stop exercising good manners. He or she may fail to show appreciation by saying “thank you”; they are not as sensitive or courteous to one another; a husband may stop opening doors for his wife; and so on.

Manners, however, are very important —they are indicators of the kind of people we are. The presence of manners means that you are a giver. The lack of manners means that you are a taker. The presence of manners means that you are not self-centered. The absence of manners means you are selfish. The presence of manners means that you value others. The absence of manners means that you don’t.

Remember, manners preserve relationships. They preserve a marriage and promote goodwill between a husband and wife. God’s design is for marriage to get progressively better every year. It is never His intention for a marriage to experience an emotional slump for any significant period of time. A lack of passion and goodwill between a husband and wife indicates something is missing in the relationship—primarily good manners.

Talk It Out | How are your manners? Do you treat your spouse the way you did when you first met? Do you treat strangers better than your spouse? An honest assessment of your marriage manners can help you discover a lot about yourself and the overall health of your marriage relationship.

Walk It Out | Think about ways you may have gotten too comfortable and relaxed around each other. Put forth a little effort to change one thing this week—for example, dressing up and looking nice for each other, actively listening when your spouse is talking, etc.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” ‘ 1 Corinthians 15:33(NLT)

Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

Your close friends are some of the most important predictors of how successful you will be in life and in marriage. The Scripture from 1 Corinthians is a caution against being deceived by the lie that you can keep bad company and not be negatively affected.

At the University of Chicago, researchers found that couples who stayed together through adversity had friends who wanted them to stay together and had a low opinion of divorce. This proves what the Bible says. It also proves another point that might surprise many people—divorce runs in groups. So do adultery, drug and alcohol abuse, and many other behaviors.

The old saying, “misery loves company” is unfortunately true. It is common for divorce to break out in an office, company, neighborhood, family, or sometimes even in a church group. All it takes is one person going through a divorce and becoming bitter at a husband or wife. This person will look for someone to provide consolation and companionship. If you have a seed of discontent in your marriage, the next thing you know this person will be trying to build an offense between you and your spouse.

To succeed in marriage, you need friends who share your values and are committed to their marriages. There are no such things as perfect friends, even if they are very godly people you meet in church. However, perfection isn’t the issue. The issue is that you have a support group around you encouraging you to do the right thing as you also encourage them.

The last thing you need when you are going through tough times in marriage is someone encouraging you to do the wrong thing. You need wise counsel and prayer from a person of faith and character. Karen and I are blessed with good, godly friends. They have stood with each other through many years of mountaintops and valleys of life.

Don’t be deceived; bad company will corrupt your morals and your marriage. Break off unhealthy relationships and work to create healthy ones. The best place I know of to meet good friends is in a Bible-based church. The people there aren’t perfect any more than you are, but they are people who share your values and will be an essential support base for a successful marriage.

Talk It Out | Honestly evaluate your friendships and speak up about any concerns you have. If you identify that some of your friendships aren’t healthy for your marriage, make a commitment to seek out the kind of friends who share your values.

Walk It Out | Invite another couple over for dinner or go out to a movie together. Spend time cultivating friendships that have a positive effect on your marriage.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?’ Amos 3:3(NLT)

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? (Amos 3:3)

Here’s another way of asking this question from the book of Amos: “How can two people get anywhere together without first agreeing on some basic things about the trip?”

It’s a rhetorical question. The obvious answer is, “They can’t.” Two people who are not in agreement simply can’t journey together—not peacefully anyway. Their journey will be a constant battle with very little forward progress. This is especially true of the longest two-person journey in life—marriage.

Over twenty years ago, Karen and I met a special couple, David and Linda Smith. They are the only couple I’ve ever met that I thought might be happier than Karen and me. One day, David shared with me the secret of their happy marriage: Every year they go on a vision retreat.

The Smiths take a three- or four-day trip to get away and spend time praying and talking together about every area of their lives—children, finances, schedules, romance, spirituality, friends, extended family, etc. After spending the mornings praying and talking, they fill their afternoons and evenings with fun and romance. They come away from the retreat with a common vision to guide them through the year.

After talking with David, Karen and I took our first vision retreat. It transformed our already good marriage and took us 144 Jimmy Evans to a higher level. Since then, we have practiced having regular vision retreats, and I highly recommend them to every couple.

A vision retreat helps you see the big picture of your marriage and what it’s all about. The truth is, your life is about something bigger than yourself. You were created by a great God to do something bigger and beyond “you.” Finding God’s purpose for your life together is one of the key foundations of peace and fulfillment in marriage.

Here are three things that a vision retreat will help you accomplish:

1. Discover the God-given purpose for your marriage.

2. Come to an agreement about key issues of your life together.

3. Draw closer together and form a powerful vision for your family’s future.

Talk It Out | Have you ever considered taking a vision retreat together? Talk about the possibilities and any obstacles you would need to work through. Then, go a step further and begin making plans. Consider picking up a copy of The Mountaintop of Marriage, a vision retreat manual that will guide you step-by-step to make the most of your retreat (available at marriagetoday.com).

Walk It Out | Have a mini-retreat by driving out to the country one night, away from the city lights, and gazing up at the star-filled sky. Use this time to share your hopes and dreams with each other.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. ‘ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10(NLT)

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

One of the most important issues in marriage is that of unity. In Genesis 2:24 when God created Adam, Eve and marriage He said, “the two shall become one” The term one, describing the unity and intimacy of marriage as God created it, is profound. It reveals God’s plan for an unbroken and undiluted team spirit between a man and a woman that creates the greatest bond that can be experienced on earth between two people.

The practical walking out of “oneness” occurs when a couple works as a team. This begins with the simple decision that neither the husband nor the wife will dominate the other. Dominance kills a spirit of unity and intimacy. The best way to make sure dominance isn’t in a marriage is for both spouses to be submitted to the Lordship of Christ. His Will guiding the marriage creates unity and kills dominance.

Another critical issue related to unity is in making important decisions together. This means that there is a standard in the marriage that establishes a clear understanding that you are one and don’t operate independently of each other. When you are making important decisions related to money, children, extended family, jobs, or other key areas, you consult each other and respect each other’s input.

Karen and I will not do anything of any significance without each other’s agreement and blessing. Early in our marriage we were both independent and stubborn and made decisions on our own. The result was deep anger and resentment that almost caused us to divorce.

Today we realize that God put us together to be a team. We are better together. I can truly say that every decision I make with Karen is a better decision than I could make on my own. God has given Karen a unique perspective that is different from mine. I used to think her input was invalid, but now I realize that she is seeing a part of the world that I can’t see. Her input is invaluable to me, as mine is to her. We make a great team.

Unity is critical for a marriage to work. This means that you don’t dominate each other and that you respect each other’s input and opinions. Resolve that you will never make important decisions without talking and praying together. Be a team player in your marriage and commit to honoring your spouse.

Talk It Out | If you’ve made mistakes in this area, it is important to take responsibility for them and repent to your spouse. Ask for forgiveness and make a commitment that you won’t act independently in the future. Talk about times you have made decisions in unity and how that made you feel about your marriage and each other.

Walk It Out | Next time you are walking together into a store or restaurant, hold your spouse’s hand or slip an arm around each other. It’s a simple but powerful way of demonstrating your oneness and unity.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble.’ Psalms 119:165(NLT)

Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing causes them to stumble. (Psalm 119:165)

I was on a television program once where they were taking live questions from viewers all over the U.S. One of the callers had an interesting question for me. The first hint I had that this wasn’t going to be a common question was when she stated that she had ten mothers-in-law.

In the village in Africa where her husband was from, it was common practice to share children among groups. Her husband was literally raised by a group of ten women who each considered themselves to be his mother. Now, after he had immigrated to the United States and married, each of these women were vying for position and influence in his marriage and family. This woman’s husband was passive and wouldn’t stand up and do anything about it. The wife literally couldn’t make any decision or have a say about anything without being usurped by a “mother-in-law.”

I remember how I answered her. I told her that whether she had one mother-in-law or ten, the principles are always the same. Her husband needed to stand up and protect her from the interference of these women.

I’m mentioning her story to make this point: most problems in marriage have pretty simple solutions. Let me encourage you that as difficult as things may be, there is an answer and it’s probably not that complicated. The following is a list of some basic principles that will make a dramatic difference in any marriage.

+ The most important issue in marriage is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

+ Marriage must be the first priority.

+ Marriage is work. There is no such thing as a marriage that operates solely on chemistry or “soul mate” steam.

+ Marriage requires teamwork and sacrifice.

+ Dominance destroys intimacy and goodwill.

+ Men and women are very different and must honor each other’s unique natures and work hard to meet each other’s needs.

+ Couples must deal with anger every day and not go to bed with unresolved issues.

+ Marriage takes faith.

+ One spouse trusting in God and doing the right thing can turn the worst marriage around.

Talk It Out | When you read over this list, does one of these principles jump out at you? Talk about which of these areas you feel you are doing well in, and which ones you would like to improve in.

Walk It Out | Show your spouse that he or she is a priority in your life by saying no to an activity so that the two of you can spend some time together. It might mean missing a tv show you like to watch or skipping lunch with your friends this week so you can have lunch as a couple.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. ‘ 1 John 4:7(NLT)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)

Last week we discussed the difference between having a gardener’s mentality and a consumer’s mentality in marriage. Today we will look at another mindset that is critical to having a successful marriage. I call it having an “owner’s mentality” as opposed to a “renter’s mentality.”

Suppose you were going to rent a house. Before signing the lease, the landlord said, “It will cost $50,000 to repair this house, and you will have to pay that amount in order to lease it.” What would you do? Obviously you wouldn’t agree to that, and neither would I. As a short-term renter, you simply wouldn’t invest that much money in someone else’s property.

However, if you owned a house and discovered that extensive and expensive repairs were needed, it would be a different matter. As the owner, you would have a compelling interest
to take care of the property. You would be willing to make the repairs—you would even be willing to sacrifice to make the needed investment.

I’m sure you can understand how having a renter’s mentality in marriage can be devastating. With this mindset, when you encounter your spouse’s faults, you may begin to wonder if you married the wrong person. When difficult times knock on the door, you will begin to entertain thoughts that the marriage won’t last.

In effect, a renter’s mentality causes you to become passive when your marriage needs the most attention. Your spouse is viewed as the landlord who must fix up the place. And with one foot positioned at the back door, you begin to entertain the thought that another house just might just be the answer. Of course, at that point the devil becomes your personal real estate agent to entice you with a better property next door, at work, or on TV.

It’s easy to understand why an owner’s mentality is needed for success in marriage. An owner’s mentality demonstrates a commitment to the relationship regardless of the circumstances. Rather than being passive about problems and entertaining the possibility of moving, an owner rolls up his or her sleeves and becomes proactive, aggressive, and sacrificial in the face of needed repairs.

With an owner’s mentality, you don’t view your spouse as a negligent landlord. Rather you see your husband or wife as a co-owner of the home. As an owner, you know that your efforts will have a positive impact on the marriage for a long time; therefore, you work, serve, and give whatever it takes. That is the secret to building a great marriage.

Talk It Out | When problems occur in your relationship, do you expect your spouse to do all of the work to make things right, or do you roll up your shirtsleeves and go to work? In your mind, is your spouse a landlord or a co-owner? Talk about the difference it makes in your relationship when you know the other person is fully invested in the success of your marriage.

Walk It Out | Make this a night for foot rubs. Use massage oil or lotion, and give each other a soothing and relaxing foot massage.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged.’ Isaiah 42:3(NLT)

Living by the Spirit’s Power
‘Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:1-33(NLT)

A bruised reed He will not break. (Isaiah 42:3)

Here in America, most people have a consumer’s mentality. When a consumer buys a product and brings it home and realizes there is a problem with it, he or she takes it back. As a consumer, you pay for something and you expect your money’s worth. You take no responsibility for the problem the product came with.

Often couples bring a consumer mentality into their marriages. Obviously, we all marry imperfect people, and we ourselves are imperfect. But many people become overwhelmed by the faults of their spouses. In fact, it is common for couples to wonder if they married the wrong person at some point in time.

Of course, the devil loves to point out your spouse’s flaws and problems because he is the accuser. To stop the devil in his tracks and to keep your spouse’s faults from overwhelming you and damaging your marriage, you must adopt a different mentality. I call it the gardener’s mentality. It is the opposite of the consumer’s mentality. Let me explain.

A gardener is a different breed. Say, for example, there is a tree or shrub in a gardener’s care that is unhealthy or has problems. A true gardener doesn’t accuse the seller or reject the plant. A gardener takes responsibility to do what is necessary to restore the plant to health. He or she asks the question, “I wonder what I could be doing that would cause this problem?” Or, “I wonder what I can do that will fix it and restore it to health?”

We can all thank God that Jesus has a gardener’s mentality toward us. Even though He is in no way responsible for our problems, He loves us and nurtures us to health. In Ephesians chapter five, men are charged with “nourishing and cherishing” their wives. Interestingly, those are both agricultural words. Even the word husband is an agricultural term (e.g., husbandman).

Related to marriage, are you a gardener or a consumer? If you are a consumer, you are most likely impatient and frustrated with your spouse’s problems. You take no responsibility to do what you can to nurture your spouse or redeem the situation. You probably think you might have made a mistake.

If you are a gardener, you see the problems in your spouse but view them much differently from a consumer. You are optimistic about them getting better because you are proactive and positive. Your caring behavior gives your spouse the encouragement and loving atmosphere needed to get better. Also, your prayers and obedience become God’s tools for redeeming your spouse and making him or her into the person God intended.

Talk It Out | Has your attitude toward your spouse been that of a gardener or a consumer? Identify attitudes and tendencies you would like to change, and talk about how to follow through on those changes.

Walk It Out | Buy a package of seeds and plant them (in a container indoors if necessary). As you watch the seeds sprout and grow into healthy plants, think about the positive results of nurturing care and how that applies to your marriage.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans

‘You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!’ Isaiah 26:3(NLT)

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3)

I gave a phone interview recently with a researcher who wanted to know what I thought was the greatest threat to marriages in modern society. I told him that I thought there were several but one of the leading threats is stress. Society is moving at a faster pace than ever and demanding more of us all of the time. Especially during certain seasons or times of transition in life (births, deaths, illnesses, a new job, moving to a new city), couples experience the most pressure and more family problems as a result.

To succeed in marriage, you simply must keep the stress in your life and household to a manageable level. You must view stress as an archenemy that threatens to destroy you. By the way, did you know that the primary cause of doctor’s office visits is stress-related illness? And financial stress destroys more marriages than any other single issue. The stress of over-burdened schedules robs you of the time you need to be together as well as the emotional and physical energy that is essential for relational intimacy. Stress is deadly.

Take some of these steps to manage your stress levels:

+ Begin every day with a time of prayer and Bible reading. Trust God with the problems and needs of your life, and don’t let the burden rest on you. Also, pray for direction and make sure the decisions and choices you are making are being guided by the Lord. He will always lead you into a life of rest and peace and will keep you from harm.

+ Honor the Sabbath Day every week. One of the Ten Commandments is that we honor the Sabbath Day to keep it holy. It is critical for our spiritual, emotional and physical health. It gets us out of the rat race and also keeps us from acting like them (the rats)! Be sure and be faithful to attend and participate in a good Bible-believing church.

+ Avoid debt and over-extending yourself financially. Save money and pay cash as much as possible. Debt creates stress that robs you of the joy of what you purchase and possess.

+ Schedule and protect time to be together every day as a couple to talk and relate without distraction. Even if it is only twenty or thirty minutes, it greatly reduces stress and increases intimacy and goodwill.

Finally, I just want to encourage you to keep Jesus as the focus of your life. He is the Prince of Peace and ultimate stress-buster. The more we worship and celebrate Him, the better everything becomes.

Talk It Out | How manageable is the stress level in your marriage? What can you do to help reduce it? Talk about practical ways you can follow he steps listed above and keep stress at a minimum in your lives.

Walk It Out | Spend a quiet time together this week. Read a Scripture that’s especially meaningful to you, and pray together, committing your needs and cares to God.

from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans