Category: 1st Marriage

‘For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.’ Ephesians 5:22-24(NLT)

‘Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. ‘ Matthew 16:24(NLT)

‘And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ‘ Romans 8:28(NLT)

‘Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord . Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.’ Romans 12:19-21(NLT)

“Submit” is a difficult word to hear. It evokes images of failure and impotence; the exact opposite of how most of us would like to live. We think that submitting to someone means becoming vulnerable, giving up our rights, and surrendering our power.

Yet for all of its negative connotations, submission is a word every Christian should know well. To be a Christian is to submit your life to Christ’s authority and His will, even when difficult. 

For thousands of years, Christians have faced emotional, economic, and even physical consequences for their submission. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).

Christian submission might be difficult at times, but we can take comfort in knowing that God is good and loving. Even if we cannot fully understand His plan, we can trust that, in the words of Romans 8:28, “all things work together for the good of those who love him.” (Paul wrote those words while sitting in a Roman jail waiting for his day in court.)

But what about wives submitting to their husbands as Ephesians 5:22 commands? 

We know that many men have used this verse to demand a submission motivated by selfishness, pride, and an ungodly desire for control. Their actions had very little to do with promoting the good of their wives, and everything to do with promoting their own agendas. This sinful history has caused many women to resist the idea of submission in marriage altogether.

But the Scripture doesn’t say wives should submit only when their husbands happen to do everything right or when there is perfect agreement. Submission implies a conflict of wills. In marriage, it requires wives to choose to follow their husband’s lead, even if they feel they know better. It can be tough to accept the leadership of another, even if that person has a close walk with the Lord. But in the end, when a wife chooses to accept her husband’s leadership, she isn’t submitting to her husband as much as she is submitting to God.

It’s also important to note that the very next few verses in Ephesians provide a very different context for submission than we see in most marriages. Stay tuned.

Note: God’s call for wives to submit to their husbands should never be used to justify physical abuse or demeaning behavior. A wife’s primary role as her husband’s helper would require her to expose such sin to the light in order to get him the help that he needs. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship please read Responding to Physical Abuse by Dennis Rainey

Pray:
Wife: Lord, Help me to submit to You as I accept and follow my husband’s leadership. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Husband: Lord, Help me to lead my wife in a loving and honorable way. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians

‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.’ Ephesians 5:21(NLT)

‘For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.’ Ephesians 6:12(NLT)

‘Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. ‘ Matthew 28:19(NLT)

‘But once you have voluntarily made a vow, be careful to fulfill your promise to the Lord your God.’ Deuteronomy 23:23(NLT)

‘A man who makes a vow to the Lord or makes a pledge under oath must never break it. He must do exactly what he said he would do.’ Numbers 30:2(NLT)

As I stood to leave the table, the guys I had been playing cards with let out a collective sigh. They wanted me to stay, but my wife wanted me home. Their shaking heads and scowls confirmed what they thought of my decision to cut the night short even before one of them sneezed out the word, “Whipped!”

Part of me wanted to stay, but there was something more important at stake than their approval. 

Long before that game night had ever been planned, I promised God that I would forsake all others and be faithful only to my wife. This was not simply a pledge to rebuff unwanted sexual advances. I promised God that I would choose to honor her needs first, whatever they were. I would say no to others, so that I could say yes to my wife.

As verbal pressure mounted for me to stay in the game, I needed to ask myself, Who would I be more willing to disappoint, my friends or my wife? But more importantly, if I forsook my wife, would I be breaking a promise that I made to God? 

God takes vows seriously. Deuteronomy 23:23 warns, “You shall be careful to do what has passed your lips, for you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God what you have promised with your mouth.”

Out of reverence for Christ and the promise that I made Him, I needed to submit to my wife’s wishes.

“Submitting to each other” in marriage doesn’t mean that we simply give in to whatever our spouse wants, but it does require us to learn how to place the needs of our spouse ahead of our own. One way to do this is to ask yourself, “Will getting my way help my spouse or hurt my spouse?” It might not seem like a big deal to me to stay out for a couple more hours, but what would the impact be on her? 

Another question to consider is, “Will my actions help my spouse get closer to God or farther away from Him?” Am I demonstrating that it is okay to not keep your word? By leaving her alone with the kids, am I causing her to be so exhausted that she won’t have any energy left to study God’s Word? Am I leaving her vulnerable to temptations by my absence?

When we take a step back, it becomes easier to see the big picture.

When I walked through the door, my wife’s eyes beamed. “You’re home early,” she said.

“Of course. I told you I would. Besides … where else would I rather be?”

Pray: Lord, I confess that I often want things my way. Teach me how to submit to my spouse out of reverence for You and the calling that You have placed on our lives. 

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians

‘Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.’ Ephesians 5:18-20(NLT)

‘But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!’ Galatians 5:22-23(NLT)

‘So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”’ Luke 11:13(NLT)

As I sat and listened to their story, it was all too familiar. They met through a mutual friend in college and married after a short engagement. While alcohol had always been a part of their relationship, it had never been a source of contention … until now. Whenever the topic of alcohol would surface, they would start fighting. Woven throughout these heated exchanges were questions of trust, control, anger, and fidelity. 

They were both Christians, but it was as if another spirit had taken over their marriage. 

When someone is drunk, their judgment, memory, comprehension, and motor skills are all impaired. With inhibitions numbed, they often say and do things that they would never have thought possible. 

Everything is amplified. Anger becomes rage and rage becomes violence. A glance turns to open flirtation and flirtation turns to infidelity. To be certain, many marriages bear the tragic scars of alcohol’s influence. 

Instead of allowing alcohol to inhabit our bodies and influence our behaviors, Paul suggests an alternative. He says we should be “filled with the Spirit.” When we allow His Spirit to take over, our lives abound with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). These are not qualities we can simply muster on our own strength. No amount of practice can make a person more patient or more loving. The mystery is that God gives us these qualities in abundance when we allow ourselves to be filled with His Holy Spirit. 

Someone “drunk” with the Holy Spirit will be influenced by God towards godly behaviors. This is beneficial in any relationship, but especially in marriage. A marriage filled with the Spirit will be quick to resolve differences in ways that build each other up, not tear each other down. Our hearts will be filled to the point where we can burst into songs of praise and thanksgiving, even in the face of struggles. 

If the influence of alcohol has had a negative effect on your marriage, then it is time to allow yourself to be filled with a new Spirit. The good news is that God stands ready to give you this gift. All we have to do is ask. Luke 11:13 tells us, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Pray: Lord, I want our marriage to be filled with YOUR Spirit. Help us to become intoxicated with Your love, both individually and as a couple. For Your glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians

‘So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. ‘ Ephesians 5:15-17(NLT)

‘Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.’ Hebrews 13:4(NLT)

‘God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. ‘ 1 Thessalonians 4:3(NLT)

A few years ago, my son bought me a unique desktop hourglass for Father’s Day. Instead of sand, this particular hourglass is filled with iron shavings. When turned over, the shavings land on a magnet hidden under the wooden base and instantly magnetize. As they fall, the shavings form miniature iron towers, repeatedly growing and collapsing under the onslaught of new material streaming through the neck. 

It is mesmerizing to watch.

Unfortunately, there is only so much material inside. Eventually, all of the shavings come to rest, and time runs out. 

When I find myself with too little time, my usual response is to try to be more efficient and multitask. Just the other evening, I caught myself monitoring the weather on my tablet, checking email on my phone, and watching TV, all while supposedly spending time with my family. My body was there, but my mind was all over the place. 

When Paul said we are to make the best use of our time, I doubt that he had multitasking in mind. Our spouse cannot simply be another task that we shift attention to momentarily. We must learn to give each other priority and focused attention. 

Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all.” When we honor something, we elevate it above other things. The hourglass my son gave me stands out. It has its own spot on a shelf in my office, lifted up above the clutter of my desk. 

One thing we’ve done in our house to help our marriage rise above the clutter is to share a coffee together each day. It’s a simple thing, but it forces us to put electronic devices away, look into each other’s eyes, and talk. While our conversations aren’t always profound, our dedication to that time is. Through the years, our kids have learned not to bother us while we’re having coffee unless someone is bleeding.

Psalm 144:4 says, “Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow.” None of us know how much time we have left in our hourglass. If my wife runs out of time before I do, it will hardly matter to me what the latest blog post says or what level I reached in a game on my phone. Those things will be forgotten, but the time spent over a cup of coffee never will.

What can you do to lift your marriage above the clutter?

Pray: Lord, I get so easily distracted by lesser things. Please help me to honor my marriage by giving my spouse focused attention. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians

‘Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”’ Ephesians 5:11-14(NLT)

‘Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.’ Psalms 139:24(NLT)

A few years ago, I discovered a tiny stain on the ceiling. After ignoring it for a few months, I decided to investigate. I gently poked the area with my finger and discovered that the drywall was soft.

I then cut a small hole in the ceiling just large enough to fit a hand inside and feel around. When I did, my hand emerged covered in an odd dust I couldn’t identify. As I expanded my access hole to get a better view, I was able to discover the source of the dust … termites.

By the time I was done tracing back the path of destruction, I had completely removed the ceiling, the walls, and two large sections of the adjacent living room. The little critters completely devoured three vertical support beams and severely damaged several joists supporting the second floor. My son’s entire bedroom had been in danger of collapse, but we didn’t even know it. The only thing that had been visible was a small, half-inch stain. From our point of view everything looked fine, but on the inside, our home was crumbling.

Hidden sins in a marriage are similar. They can be easy to overlook.  Maybe it’s a sarcastic comment, an extended sigh, or a lingering eye. Issues which, when compared against those of our friends, can seem small. But like a tiny stain on an otherwise perfectly white ceiling, there may be something more serious hiding just beneath the surface. That sarcastic comment could be a sign of disrespect. That sigh might be hiding a discontented heart and a lingering eye.

It’s easy to convince ourselves that as long as we can keep our sins hidden, they can’t hurt anyone. But like the termites slowly destroying a home, secret sins tend to destroy us from the inside out. They eat away at the very foundations of intimacy and trust necessary for marital oneness and need to be dealt with right away.

In Ephesians, Paul tells us how, but his prescription is not something we like to hear. He says we need to “expose them.” We need to have the courage to disrupt the illusion of health, tear down the façade, and expose the sin hiding underneath. 

Next time you see a stain developing in your marriage, ask God for the courage to investigate further. It may get messy for a while, but it is the only way to ensure that little problems, don’t turn into big ones. 

Pray: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians

‘Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. ‘ Ephesians 5:7-10(NLT)

‘Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” ‘ 1 Corinthians 15:33(NLT)

“If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?”

Many exasperated parents have raised this question to their children over the years. It is designed to highlight that which should be obvious: peer pressure can often cause people to make stupid decisions. 

While it is easy to see the impact of peer pressure on others, noticing it in your own life is often harder. Ephesians 5:7-10 warns believers to no longer be “partners” with sexually immoral, impure, or covetous people. The word for “partners” can also be translated as co-participant or partaker. 

This doesn’t mean that we must break off all ties with our old friends, but it does mean the nature of our relationships must change. If our old friends are living a lifestyle contrary to God, we can no longer participate the way we once did. We may need to excuse ourselves from certain situations. This is not to project a “holier than thou” attitude, but rather to ensure that our presence influences our friends for their good and not the other way around. 

This means asking ourselves some tough questions. 

Are you married but still hanging out with guys who are on the prowl? How will their behavior affect your thought life? What temptations will you expose yourself to? 

Do you spend time commiserating with girlfriends about how clueless men are? How will that impact your ability to be thankful? What positive qualities will you start to overlook as a result?

The company you keep matters. 

Find couples whose walk with God is strong and whose marriages you admire. Then spend as much time with them as you can. Invite them over for dinner. Arrange play dates between your kids. Join a marriage group at church or start one yourself. Find ways of hanging out with mature believers who are walking with God and can help you to “walk as a child of the light,” as well.

When your friends are more interested in your walk with God and the strength of your marriage, you’ll know you’re keeping the right kind of company.

Pray: Lord, give me the wisdom to know which of my relationships are helpful and which ones are harmful. Help me to develop friendships that will help me to draw closer to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians

‘You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. ‘ Ephesians 5:5-6(NLT)

‘But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ‘ Matthew 5:28(NLT)

‘You must worship no other gods, for the Lord , whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.’ Exodus 34:14(NLT)

There are few things as damaging as infidelity. It has destroyed marriages. It has caused parents to lose their children, pastors to lose their churches, and politicians to lose their jobs. While not impossible to recover from, the road back is long and painful. 

As serious as it is, Paul’s statement in Ephesians 5:5-6 makes it clear that the consequences of sexual immorality are greater than we might think. He says those who are sexually immoral will not inherit the Kingdom of God. That is serious language. In our post-sexual revolution age, it may be hard to believe that God would actually deny us heaven because of a little sexual indiscretion, yet Paul makes it clear that He would: “Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.”

Sexual immorality is serious to God and more complex than we might think. 

Those who are willing to risk everything in sexual sin can do so only after they have elevated the object of their desire higher than everything else–their spouse, their children, their careers, even God. In essence, their sexual desire becomes their idol, their god. This is why infidelity is so dangerous. 

God is a jealous God. He doesn’t want any desire to be elevated above our desire for Him. 

When Eve saw the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, she “… saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise …” (Genesis 3:6). She wanted it so badly that she didn’t care about the consequences. In that moment, fruit became more important to her than her husband, her relationship with God, and even her very life. 

Instead of taking her desires to God and letting Him fill them, she tried to fulfill her desires herself. We do the same thing all the time.  

Most affairs aren’t birthed out of a physical desire, but out of a longing for appreciation, respect, acceptance, or the desire to be pursued. Instead of taking these desires to God, we look for ways to satisfy them ourselves. The good news is that God can satisfy all of these longings if we let Him. He also has granted us a pure and holy outlet for sexual fulfillment within marriage. 

If you feel temptation beginning to brew inside you, recognize it as an idol attempting to be born, and bring it to God in prayer.

Pray: Lord, I know Your Word says that You are a jealous God. Examine my heart and help me to find my satisfaction in You alone. Help me to eradicate any idol that seeks to take Your place in my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians

‘Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. ‘ Ephesians 5:4(NLT)

‘Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:18(NLT)

‘And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.’ Colossians 3:17(NLT)

‘Praise the Lord ! Give thanks to the Lord , for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.’ Psalms 106:1(NLT)

I had fully intended on clearing the sink of dishes, but after washing the two big pans I got distracted. Later that evening, lying in bed, my wife turned to me and said, “About the dishes …”

Uh oh, I thought. I completely forgot to finish them! My mind immediately began to race. What had I been doing? Why had I gotten distracted? I needed to come up with an excuse—fast.

I had just begun to form my defense when she said, “Thank you for scrubbing the big ones. They’re heavy, and I really appreciated you taking care of them.”

My mouth opened, but no words came out.

In marriage, a spirit of thanksgiving can make a huge difference. What you focus on most is what you’ll notice most. 

If you give thanks for your spouse’s efforts at provision, then you begin to notice efforts at provision that you once overlooked. If you give thanks for your spouse’s efforts at cleaning, you begin to notice examples that you never saw before. 

Focusing on the negative can have the opposite effect. The more we complain, the more evidence we find to justify our complaints. This breeds disappointment and bitterness and often spills out in the form of crude jokes, curses, insults, and sarcasm. 

Unfortunately, it is not always easy to focus on the positive.

My wife and I have different ways of viewing time. To me, 15 minutes early is on time. To her, two or three minutes late is no big deal. This has caused much friction in our marriage over the years. 

One day, as I was sitting in my car fuming because she wasn’t ready, I realized I should shift my focus. I began praying for my wife and thanking God for making her the perfect companion for me. As I did, I began to realize why she is usually late. God gifted her with a deep desire to take care of the needs of others. While I was sitting in my car judging her, she was preparing a bag with snacks she thought I might appreciate later that afternoon. 

On my own, I would have never realized this. But by tapping into God’s mysterious power, I was able to appreciate her thoughtfulness. 

Next time you find yourself wanting to complain about your spouse, try thanking God for your spouse instead. You may be surprised by what you notice next.

Pray: Lord, I confess that I am often faster to complain than I am to thank. Help me to appreciate my spouse as Your perfect gift to me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians

‘Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. ‘ Ephesians 5:3(NLT)

‘But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ‘ Matthew 5:28(NLT)

‘Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. ‘ Colossians 3:2-5(NLT)

My surgery was relatively minor. But I was surprised by the number of medical personnel in the room and the complexity of the equipment. 

There are many factors which determine if surgery will be successful or not. It takes careful planning, execution, a sterile environment, and good follow-up care. Yet even with the most diligent and skilled teams at work, post-operative complications can occur. One of the most dangerous is an infection.

When the doctors were done, they explained how a single wayward bacteria could take root and wreak havoc. They explained how my bandages would protect me if I kept them clean. They didn’t want a hint of bacteria anywhere near my wound.

The apostle Paul may not have known about bacteria, but he understood how easy it is for sexual sin to take root in our lives. He warned against even a whisper of sexual immorality. This goes far beyond the idea of simply not committing adultery. It actually starts with guarding our minds. 

Many Christians are much more careful about what they do than about what they think. Some bring a pornography habit into their marriages, wrongly believing that thoughts can be compartmentalized—that they can look at pornography without any effect on their minds or relationships. Others don’t think twice about watching sexually-charged reality television shows or movies. Yet each image, each storyline, is like rubbing bacteria into an open wound.

We don’t need to have a physical affair to cheat on our spouse. Jesus said, “… everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

As our culture has become more sexually permissive, maintaining one’s purity has become more difficult. I have learned there are certain mainstream shows I cannot allow myself to watch and certain channels I cannot allow myself to have on my cable lineup. A single image or scene can easily affect my mind if I’m not careful.

With all the sexually charged images around us, it can be tempting to lower our standards, but the stakes are too high to ignore. 

Sexual impurity interferes with marital intimacy. It wastes your time teaching you what the person on the screen finds pleasurable, instead of encouraging you to spend that time and energy getting to know your spouse better. Before you know it, you wind up wanting the fantasy more than your reality. 

Like the doctors protecting their patient from a life-threatening infection, we must put in place as many barriers as it takes to ensure our marriages stay pure.

Pray: Lord, I want my marriage to be as pure as it can be. I confess that I have not always protected it from invasive sexual images and thoughts. Help me to safeguard the purity of our marriage so that it can be glorifying to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians

‘Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.’ Ephesians 5:1-2(NLT)

When my son was younger, he loved to follow me around and mimic my every move. He was especially interested in the way I romanced his mother. He listened to me tell stories about how we met, watched as we interacted, and whenever I hugged her, he was right there trying to wiggle in between us.

I didn’t realize how closely he had been paying attention until one spring afternoon when my then 5-year-old boy walked into the kitchen with his hands hiding behind his back. He marched up to his mother, dropped to one knee, presented a big red tulip he had just cut from our garden, and asked her to marry him.

It was adorable. I knew right then that he’d make some girl very happy one day.

When Paul told the Ephesian church to be imitators of God as beloved children, this is the picture that comes to my mind. One of a son, eyes fixed on his father, learning and watching his every move.

My son took time to follow and study me. He stayed close. He learned how I operated, and when the time was right, he stepped out and followed my example. 

To be an imitator of God, we need to do the same. We need to study His Word. We need to stay close to Him through prayer. When we do, we learn how He operates. Then we can step out in faith and try to follow His example. 

Everything Christ did was driven by His love for the Father and His love for us. His love was pure and sacrificial. And like the tulip in my son’s hands, it gave off a lovely fragrance. The closer we get to Jesus, the easier it will be for His ways to rub off on us.

If someone were to look at your marriage, would they be able to see Christ’s influence? Could the fragrance of your marriage be described as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God, or would the description be less pleasant?

This study is a good start. Read Ephesians 1-2 with your spouse, and take turns describing the fragrance of your marriage. How are you currently imitating God in your marriage? In what ways could you improve? 

When you are finished discussing this, take a moment and pray together.

Pray: 

Heavenly Father, we want our home to be filled with the fragrance of Your love. Draw us closer to Your side, and fill us with Your Holy Spirit. Show me how I can give more of myself to my spouse. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

from Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from Ephesians