Category: 1st Marriage

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Introduction – Welcome to Better Than Blended

‘Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’ 1 Corinthians 13:7(NLT)

When two people meet and fall in love, they typically don’t take the time to fully consider the extent to which their love will change their lives, especially in a blended family. During a beautiful marriage ceremony, they stand before witnesses and confess their undying love and vow their commitment to one another. All the decorations and ceremonial pomp, however, don’t prepare them for the hard work that lies ahead.

As children, both of us were exposed to the challenges of being in a blended family at an early age. When we joined together in marriage, we desired to become a united family! This was an audacious prayer—but with God’s help, it is attainable. 

Blending a family is a journey—one that will have some steep valleys of seeming defeat as well as high mountains of apparent victories. But it is worth it! Strong blended families aren’t the result of some magic pill or a single prayer. Strong blended families require application of the Word of God, willingness to work toward growth, and the ability to apply the wisdom of God in situations! We pray that you will begin to identify with these things in this devotional.

Wherever you are as a blended family, you will find that engaging in this devotional with an open heart and mind will take your family to the next level. As you begin and complete the Better than Blended Devotional, we would love to see three main goals achieved:

  • 1. An enhanced blended family experience by drawing closer to God
  • 2. A strengthened blended family by helping your children to develop heartfelt relationships with each other
  • 3. More intentionality by developing unity and oneness in every aspect of your blended family

We pray that a deepened sense of God’s call for your family will take root in your hearts and that the fruit of your love for each other, your children, and God will yield a family that is Better Than Blended. 

from Better Than Blended Devotional

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

The Family Who Serves God Together

‘Then Noah built an altar to the Lord , and there he sacrificed as burnt offerings the animals and birds that had been approved for that purpose. And the Lord was pleased with the aroma of the sacrifice and said to himself, “I will never again curse the ground because of the human race, even though everything they think or imagine is bent toward evil from childhood. I will never again destroy all living things. As long as the earth remains, there will be planting and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night.”’ Genesis 8:20-22(NLT)

‘But if you refuse to serve the Lord , then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord .”’ Joshua 24:15(NLT)

‘They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.” ‘ Acts of the Apostles 16:31(NLT)

As Noah came out of the ark, he didn’t go to see the land or to find and prepare something to eat. The first thing he did was to raise an altar to the Lord. God was pleased with that offering, and then made a promise of blessing to all mankind.

It is time for us to raise an altar to God inside our homes. If there is a big secret to victory, this is it! Don’t do it only on Sundays, but expand on it and bring church home. Be a family that prays and worships together. God needs to be the center of our home and that can only happen when we worship together, along one another, holding hands or with our arms raised to heaven in adoration.

Like Noah, we should walk in God’s presence and work to strengthen our families. He is an example of a servant of God who took a holy stand before the corrupted world, and decided to work to save his own. We cannot let our home be destroyed by pain and evil. May God always be the center of our house, and may our families be more than conquerors through the name of Jesus. The time has come for us to enter the ark with our whole family and raise altars to God inside our homes!

from Victorious Families

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Don’t Give Up on Your Family

‘Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,’ Romans 12:11-19(NLT)

‘Wait patiently for the Lord . Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord .’ Psalms 27:14(NLT)

‘I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.’ Psalms 40:1(NLT)

‘Noah was 600 years old when the flood covered the earth. ‘ Genesis 7:6(NLT)

The ark took decades to be completed, and most of the time we want everything to happen quickly, or even instantly, in our family. We are no longer willing to wait for God’s time. We have been fixing problems for years, but we have no patience when it comes to solving them.

We live in “automatic” times, but this is not the reality of life with God. We have to face difficulties, and even when life becomes extremely hard, we cannot give up. We must learn to keep on fighting. To have a blessed family, patience is required. An argument will not always be resolved quickly, or a hurt may not turn into forgiveness overnight. Trust and love need to be cultivated. The harmony of a family is a daily achievement.

We can’t stop fighting for the salvation of our children and marriage. To fight is to do absolutely all we can: to pray, to fast, and to cry out to God! When in doubt of the next step, seek guidance in the Word: read the Bible. 

from Victorious Families

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Do Not Allow Your Family to Become Divided

‘Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart. ‘ Mark 3:25(NLT)

‘But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Mark 10:6-9(NLT)

‘“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.’ Exodus 20:12(NLT)

‘We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? ‘ 1 John 4:19-20(NLT)

Fragmented families cannot escape the flood. We need to understand that unity within our home is essential to follow God’s plans. Therefore, their is  importance in a family that is always talking, praying together, and sharing life together. How can we say we love God and mistreat or ignore our spouses or children who are by our side every day?

Noah’s family worked together before the flood, and continued doing so during the time they remained inside the ark. Imagine the work that went into taking care of all those animals and the tasks to maintain the ark in itself. They needed to be very organized and work together under the same purpose. Unity within the ark was essential.

A home must be a place of shelter, love, and respect. Husbands must respect their wives, and wives their husbands. Children need to learn how to talk with parents, and parents with their children. Society shows us marriages that do not last, and children who disrespect their parents. But God says we become one when we get married, and commands the children to honor their parents in the Lord.

Togetherness is essential for a blessed home. It is not automatic, often it will need to be worked upon with much dedication, conversation, and in some cases upon forgiveness and reconciliation. For us to be blessed, our home must be blessed, for a divided home cannot stand.

from Victorious Families

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

You Must Act to Rescue Your Family

‘This is the account of Noah and his family. Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless person living on earth at the time, and he walked in close fellowship with God. Noah was the father of three sons: Shem, Ham, and Japheth. Now God saw that the earth had become corrupt and was filled with violence. God observed all this corruption in the world, for everyone on earth was corrupt. So God said to Noah, “I have decided to destroy all living creatures, for they have filled the earth with violence. Yes, I will wipe them all out along with the earth! “Build a large boat from cypress wood and waterproof it with tar, inside and out. Then construct decks and stalls throughout its interior. Make the boat 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high. Leave an 18-inch opening below the roof all the way around the boat. Put the door on the side, and build three decks inside the boat—lower, middle, and upper. “Look! I am about to cover the earth with a flood that will destroy every living thing that breathes. Everything on earth will die. But I will confirm my covenant with you. So enter the boat—you and your wife and your sons and their wives. Bring a pair of every kind of animal—a male and a female—into the boat with you to keep them alive during the flood. Pairs of every kind of bird, and every kind of animal, and every kind of small animal that scurries along the ground, will come to you to be kept alive. And be sure to take on board enough food for your family and for all the animals.” So Noah did everything exactly as God had commanded him.’ Genesis 6:9-22(NLT)

‘“If you love me, obey my commandments. ‘ John 14:15(NLT)

Noah’s story is almost always told the same way, but we need to think about how hard it was to actually build the ark… God instructed Noah on how to construct it, but if he and his family had not followed through in obedience, salvation would not have come. God did not make an ark appear, Noah and his family had to build it.

God literally gave all the details necessary for building the ark. When we follow the Lord, He gives direction. His Word is filled with guidelines toward a blessed home, but the decision to build on it and execute His orders is ours to make. The Bible states that Noah did everything exactly as God had commanded him. Just as Noah, we must be attentive to his commands, bring them into our homes, and obey every single one of them. 

Noah had to work for it. If the ark had not been built, surely the family would have no shelter to be saved from the flood. To rescue our home and family, we must act as God dictates.

from Victorious Families

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

The Salvation of Your Family

‘The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart. And the Lord said, “I will wipe this human race I have created from the face of the earth. Yes, and I will destroy every living thing—all the people, the large animals, the small animals that scurry along the ground, and even the birds of the sky. I am sorry I ever made them.” But Noah found favor with the Lord .
The Story of Noah
This is the account of Noah and his family. Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless person living on earth at the time, and he walked in close fellowship with God. ‘ Genesis 6:5-9(NLT)

‘But I will confirm my covenant with you. So enter the boat—you and your wife and your sons and their wives. ‘ Genesis 6:18(NLT)

Noah and his family lived in a time of moral depravity, so great that the Bible says the Lord saw wickedness and thoughts that were always for evil. However, the Lord showed his goodwill to Noah. In fact, the story is not just about Noah, but about his entire family. In the midst of the flood, God spared the lives of eight people, a whole family. Noah did not win alone.

Amongst all the wickedness, God found benevolence in Noah. Why? Because He found a family that would serve Him in Noah’s house. He saw a family shaped by godly standards and not by the society in which they lived. A family that serves the Lord is different, and even with all the ugliness of the world, God still saves them. A family that belongs to God does not stay in the storm, but has shelter inside the ark.

The world today can be compared to the society of Noah’s era. We live in a time of moral decay and many social, political, and spiritual issues. That is reason why we need to take care of our homes: so there is salvation in it. We need to attain God’s attention, just as Noah’s family, so we can receive the information on how to build and find protection inside the ark.

from Victorious Families

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Dead End

‘Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”’ Matthew 19:26(NLT)

‘“O Sovereign Lord ! You made the heavens and earth by your strong hand and powerful arm. Nothing is too hard for you! ‘ Jeremiah 32:17(NLT)

‘For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. ‘ Philippians 4:13(NLT)

‘Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.’ Isaiah 26:4(NLT)

‘Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”’ Deuteronomy 31:8(NLT)

Last week I was driving home. I was coming a different way because I had been in a meeting in a different part of the city. I don’t go that route often because a train track crosses the road at one point and my experience is that the trains that cross there have a million cars (a slight exaggeration). As I approached the tracks, I saw a train was approaching and knew that by the time I reached the intersection the train would be stopping all traffic for some time. I quickly turned down a side street that I thought would lead me to a street that would allow me to go around the train. It would take me a little out of my way, but it kept me moving and would be better than waiting for the train to pass. So first a right turn for a couple of blocks and then a left to take me around the train path. I was feeling really good about outwitting the train and then I came to a sign that said ‘dead end’ but to me it did not look like a dead end. I could see pretty far in front of me. I thought it must be an old sign or was there to keep people from cutting through the neighborhood. With that logic, I went for it. I hate being wrong but I was wrong. The sign said ‘dead end’ and it was a dead end. No way out. Stuck. I turned around and retraced my path back to the train track. The train had passed and traffic was moving.  

As we have looked at a number of traffic signs during this two part reading plan, I want to close with this one. Never see your marriage as a dead end. Never give up hope. Stay committed. There is always a solution. Pray for your marriage. Fight together for your marriage. Heed the signs. STOP before you choose pornography or infidelity. YIELD to your spouse and fight the battle of selfishness. Stay on the ONE WAY street that God has given you in your marriage. Obey the DO NOT ENTER signs. Go SLOW and embrace your marriage. Do not run past the CAUTION signs. Protect your marriage and BUCKLE UP. Navigate the CURVES together. Finally, know that quitting is not an option. You have the God of the universe on your side. He has the answers that you do not. He puts the marriage relationship right under our relationship with Him. Your marriage never has to be a DEAD END.  

Today’s Challenge: 

1. What gives you hope in your marriage even when others might quit?

2. When Dr. Kim says that “You have the God of the universe on your side,” how does that change your perspective?

3.  What is something that might at first look like a dead end, but with God’s help is not?

Going Deeper:

If you ever feel your marriage is at a DEAD END, will you give it one more shot? God wants to work a miracle. He just needs you to ask Him in!

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Curve

‘“Watch out! Don’t let your hearts be dulled by carousing and drunkenness, and by the worries of this life. Don’t let that day catch you unaware, like a trap. For that day will come upon everyone living on the earth. Keep alert at all times. And pray that you might be strong enough to escape these coming horrors and stand before the Son of Man.”’ Luke 21:34-36(NLT)

‘This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”’ Joshua 1:9(NLT)

‘Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. ‘ Colossians 3:2(NLT)

‘So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ‘ Galatians 6:9(NLT)

Curve signs warn us. We do not see them with every curve on the highway, but when we do see them, they tell us that there are some serious curves ahead. We need this information to help us prepare for what lies ahead. Curves are not disasters. They are just part of the highway system. If we are aware, we make it past them without a problem. If we were not aware of them, they could definitely cause us serious issues.  

Marriage is also full of curves. Last year I did a blog series on “Destinations.” In short, the premise was that we are all on a ‘marriage highway’ and we all want an awesome marriage. To reach that destination, we have to navigate the highway. The marriage highway has curves. The curves are the normal things every marriage encounters. You will have financial issues. You will have times that you do not feel emotional love for your spouse. You will not always agree on everything. You will have to work on communication and your sex life and resolving conflict. These are all curves and being aware that everyone encounters them helps you prepare. Your awareness lets you embrace these curves and work through them together. That is what keeps curves from becoming disasters. The good news is that navigated curves help build awesome marriages.  

Is your marriage on a curve today? WIll you let God navigate you through it? He wants to do that for you. So ask Him to join you today.

Today’s Challenge: 

1. What are the curves you have experienced in your marriage thus far?

2. What curve is your marriage navigating today?  

3. WHat helps you as a couple to navigate these curves in your marriage?

Going Deeper:

Too often I see couples ignore the curve signs until they are at the brink of disaster. Remember that God always has an answer for every curve. Develop the habit of going to Him immediately as your marriage enters a curve.

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Buckle Up

‘Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18(NLT)

‘And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.’ 1 John 5:14-15(NLT)

‘“I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”’ Matthew 18:19-20(NLT)

‘Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! ‘ Hebrews 13:1-2(NLT)

‘And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.’ Hebrews 10:25(NLT)

I barely remember riding in cars that did not have seat belts. Then seat belts became standard equipment but no one really used them much. In my family growing up, we wore them when we traveled out of the city but not in the city. Then people began doing studies which showed that seat belts actually saved lives. It was an evolutionary process from no seat belts, to seat belts, to seat belts work. Today there are signs that remind us to ‘buckle up’ but most of us already have before we see the sign. Buckle up: it makes sense and it saves lives.

Do you ‘buckle up’ your marriage? Do you do the things to keep it safe? Here are two suggestions.  

First, pray together. I can hear some of you saying, I can’t do that. That would be too weird. Yet, you can do that and yes, at first, it may be weird. People ask me, “what is one thing I can do to improve my marriage?” My answer 100% of the time is pray together. Pray for each other. Pray silently together. Pray out loud together. There is no magic formula. Just start today and pray.  

Second, worship together. There is something special that happens when we worship with our spouse. In Genesis 2, we see God spend time with Adam and Eve together. There was something very special about that and it is a model for us. Worship together every week with your spouse. It will make a difference.  

Buckle up. Keep your marriage safe. Pray. Worship. Start now.

Today’s Challenge: 

1. What are you doing today to keep your marriage safe?

2. If the two of you are not praying together, why not begin today? Keep it simple and stay at the comfort level of the one who is least comfortable.

3. Do you worship together each week. If not, will you commit to begin this weekend?

Going Deeper:

Keeping your marriage safe is really about putting God exactly where He wants to be and that is right in the center of your marriage. Together commit to put Him there and keep Him there every day.  

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Slow

‘As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”’ Luke 10:38-42(NLT)

‘Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.’ Psalms 62:5-6(NLT)

‘Be still in the presence of the Lord , and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.’ Psalms 37:7(NLT)

There are traffic signs that tell us to go slow.  Sometimes it is for the safety of others.  It could be  a ‘school zone’ or an area close to a park. If I slow down, I become more aware of what is going on around me. There may be children crossing the street on their way to or from school. At the park, a child may be playing ball and be so caught up in the game that they do not realize that they have chased the ball into the street. By going slow, I can adjust to the situation. I am more aware and able to respond.  

There are other times that the ‘slow’ sign is for my safety. There may be a change in road conditions and by going slower, I can make the necessary adjustments. Where I live there is a lot of road construction going on. Going slower keeps me safer in construction areas.

My life is fast paced. There are many days that I do not get everything done that I either need to do or want to do. I get up early, have a quiet time, work out, get dressed and go – and go – and go – all day long. I need to slow down. I need to slow down for others – especially my wife. I need to take time to be with her each day. If I am always on the go, I do not listen well or interact well. Slowing down makes my marriage better.

Slowing down also helps me. Over time a hectic daily schedule is not healthy. My body needs a rest and time to relax. My soul needs a rest and I need more focused time with God where I can really hear what He is telling me.   

So the bottom line is slow down. Slow down and embrace your marriage. Slow down and embrace life. What can you do today to slow down and, more important, what is keeping you from doing it?

Today’s Challenge: 

1. In your life, what would a sign marked SLOW mean to you?

2. What is one why you could slow down and embrace your marriage?

3. How can you slow down in order to hear what God is saying to you?

Going Deeper:

As you think about the benefits of slowing down, what would keep you from making those changes? How can you overcome those obstacles?

from Traffic Signs And Your Marriage – Part 2 by Dr. Kim Kimberling