Category: 1st Marriage

‘and Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the celebration. The wine supply ran out during the festivities, so Jesus’ mother told him, “They have no more wine.” “Dear woman, that’s not our problem,” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.” But his mother told the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Standing nearby were six stone water jars, used for Jewish ceremonial washing. Each could hold twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus told the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” When the jars had been filled, he said, “Now dip some out, and take it to the master of ceremonies.” So the servants followed his instructions. When the master of ceremonies tasted the water that was now wine, not knowing where it had come from (though, of course, the servants knew), he called the bridegroom over. “A host always serves the best wine first,” he said. “Then, when everyone has had a lot to drink, he brings out the less expensive wine. But you have kept the best until now!”’ John 2:2-10(NLT)

‘A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.’ Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT)

On this fifth and final day of this devotional, we will remember Jesus’ first miracle in His ministry. It was at a wedding party. There are many precious revelations in this story. I invite you to immerse yourself in the Word of God and bring this miracle of Jesus into your marriage. He wants to renew daily the joy and love between the couple. He wants to turn water into wine.

…on the third day…

Covenant – marriage to God is a covenant, a covenant, and not a contract.

… Jesus was invited…

Jesus cannot be just a guest in your marriage; He has to be the owner of the party, the Lord of our house.

… there was no wine…

Wine was the joy of the party. In many marriages, there is no more joy. The party is over. Himself with Jesus present as a guest. Even believers if they do not watch are subject to having problems in their marriage.

Three situations that a marriage can be:

1. The wine is finished! Empty jars … There is nothing else – each for one side – there is no friendship, there is no conversation, there is no respect, there is no intimacy, they do not pray together – there is no love.
2. There are only water jars! There is only water – marriage that survives out of a need, be it financial, be it carnal, be social, be it religious, be it for the children, but it no longer has taste, smell, color, joy – there is only brotherly love.
3. Water made in wine! Joy is present. The “wine” marriage has the smell of Christ, it has the color of life, of feeling, of friendship, it has the flavor of praying together, of crying together, it has the sharing of victories and also of defeats, it has support – between mountains and valleys, deserts and seas, always battle together – there is the presence of unconditional love.

… only the servants knew of the miracle…

No matter what condition our marriage is in, the same Jesus who operated the miracle at Cana, can operate the miracle today. If we are true servants and believe, we will see the miracle happen. Everyone will be amazed, including you, with the changes God can make in the relationship.

Homework:

Now it’s up to you! You already know the parameters and the desire of Jesus to bless this union. This homework will be daily for the rest of their lives. Applying biblical concepts and teachings to live this eternal alliance with God.

Look daily for the miracle in your marriage. Don’t just be content with water. Wish daily wine in the house. Always believe that God can change what is wrong in the relationship. For God there is no impossible. And with Him it is possible to live unconditional love daily and eternally.

Instead of facing the battles of life alone or as a couple, invite Jesus to be with you in this war and remember:

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12.

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. ‘ 1 John 1:8-9(NLT)

‘Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.’ Proverbs 20:3(NLT)

God’s communication with man serves as a model for our conjugal communication. When there is good marriage communication, the husband and wife share thoughts, feelings, experiences, values, priorities, and judgments, while listening to each other with empathy. There are 4 levels of communication and we must identify which one we identify with in our marriage:

1. Automatic communication: it is a level of superficial communication: good morning, good afternoon, be careful, I love you, go with God. They are clever and generally pleasant phrases that we say to ourselves during the day, automatically, out of habit. We are usually honest, in fact, but we don’t think much at this level of communication. They are not useless phrases, they are spoken in recognition of the presence of another person, but staying at this level of communication will not provide intimacy and depth in the relationship.
2. Exchange of information: it all comes down to the facts: who, what, when and where. At this level of communication, we only share information, we do not give an opinion on the facts or ask for the opinion of others, we do not express ideas or feelings about the information we hear. The success of many things depends on this level of communication: dates, times, place, time, etc. Without this information necessary for daily life, life would be very difficult. Couples who communicate well at level 2 imagine that they have good communication, but in reality there is little development of intellectual and emotional intimacy at this level of communication.
3. Exchange of views: at this level, we share our opinions, interpretations, and judgments on a certain topic and allow the other person to know our thoughts. Obviously, the possibility of conflict or divergence is greater than at other levels. Some couples do not speak much at level 3 because they do not like to see their opinions questioned, but it is not necessary that the couple have the same opinion and this difference of thought does not need to shake the intimacy of the couple. However, if one of the spouses tries to impose their opinions on the other, the intimacy disappears and gives way to discussion or silence.
4. Exchange of emotions: at this level we share our emotions and feelings regarding events. Sharing feelings is more difficult than sharing thoughts, because feelings represent more intimate things. In fact, our thoughts can often mask feelings. Many couples rarely communicate at this level 4 because they fear that their emotions will not be accepted. We must allow each other freedom to express feelings and listen em-pathetically to what the other person has to say. By developing this cozy atmosphere, intimacy will certainly increase.

God’s plan for our marriage is for us to walk in accord – Amos 3:3; communication leads us to an agreement; where there is agreement, there is peace, blessings and prosperity:

• We must seek the will of God together, as husband and wife. To agree, they both need to hear God’s reasons – Isaiah 30:21;
• Our agreement must also be based on the fulfillment of the Father’s will, we should not try to fulfill our own will – Matthew 18:19;
• When God speaks to the couple, they are both safe and rested because they heard the Father’s voice and therefore come to an agreement more easily – Luke 11:10.

Homework:

1. What level of communication do you fit into? How do you intend to reach deeper levels? Do you agree that it will benefit your marriage?

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘“When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him! ‘ Matthew 6:5-8(NLT)

‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)

Many spouses already have a constant prayer life; but as a couple this is not enough; Our intimacy as a couple must take place on three levels: spirit, soul and body:

• Maturity is needed in the process of communication and prayer; sometimes there is a tendency to want to manipulate / correct our spouse with such “horizontal sentences”: “Lord, help me to help clean the house more”; these are prayers directed by reason;
• It is necessary to perform a “vertical prayer”; driven by revelation; they can follow these steps:
  • Use praise and worship at the beginning of the prayer, understanding that it is pleasing to God and that He dwells in the midst of praise – Psalms 100:4;
  • They thank the Lord for His care and provision – Philippians 4:6; Present your requests to the Lord, as His Word directs us, aware that He knows our desires and wants to bless us with what we need;
  • Pray the Word of God because it is the will of God and He ensures that His Word is fulfilled, helps us to keep our opinions out of prayer;
  • Try to keep track of requests and responses.

Although we are human, we do not fight with human weapons, but with a supernatural nature, powerful in God. God wants us to defeat the enemy in the same way that He did, because our victory does not depend on our own ability. God gives us the resources to face the battle:

• Name of Jesus: all authority was given to Him in heaven and on earth, so we ask Him in His Name, binding and loosing in heaven and on earth – Matthew 18:18;
• Blood of Jesus: the blood redeems us from sin, defeats the enemy – Revelation 12:11, and was shed to protect, liberate, feed, forgive;
• Praise and worship: the Lord dwells among the praises of His people, praise silences Satan and is a powerful weapon to be used always, because He is worthy – Psalm 8:2.

Homework:

1. Release forgiveness for your spouse, declare your mistake or sin out loud. It does not matter the degree of the crime or the size of the fault. Do not get hurt because Jesus shed His innocent blood for it. Get rid of that trash forever. Try to pray for each other during this time.
2. List the names of the people you would like to forgive or ask for forgiveness. Give up any feelings of pain or revenge. Ask the Lord to help you forgive. Pray for the complete list and declare forgiveness before God. The first opportunity you find with these people, ask for forgiveness or declare that you have already forgiven them.
3. Watch the movie “War Room” together. Try to establish a time of prayer together during the week. Apply the steps of prayer and have an unforgettable experience with the Lord.

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. Some manuscripts add For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.’ Matthew 6:11-15(NLT)

Today, we will get into one of the most important matters of a relationship. Jesus left us several examples and references of how we should forgive and be forgiven, how important it is to communicate based on truth and sincerity and how prayer has power and can reach where we often cannot be, but it arrives and frees, and heals, and transforms and gives meaning to life. I invite you to pay close attention to this devotional today. Perhaps it will be one of the most difficult, after all to forgive and pray, we cannot be alone in Body and Soul, we need the action of the Spirit in our lives. However, I pray and declare that after this reading, you and your spouse will be filled with the Holy Spirit and have achieved many blessings and deliveries through truth, forgiveness and prayer.

Forgiveness must be right at the center of our Christian life, talking about forgiveness is easy, practicing it is not, because we always want to have resentments, claiming that they are justified. We are quite quick to point out flaws, just as the Pharisees were.

Forgiveness means: granting the remission of any crime or debt and renouncing any claim. God always freely grants forgiveness, because Jesus paid a high price, so we cannot demand any payment to forgive someone.

Forgiving, therefore, is a commandment of God, disobeying it is a sin and distances us from Him, not to forgive is to reject the redemptive work of Christ, His blood, His salvation.

We forgive because we understand that we have been forgiven. Who does not forgive is because he has not yet accepted forgiveness in the sacrifice of Jesus.

Not forgiving keeps us captive, in slavery (Matthew 18:23-35): we want to be forgiven, but we keep the offenses of those who have offended us. If we do not forgive, we are delivered to the tormenting spirits and we can generate in us:

• Physical and mental illnesses;
• Oppression that imprison us;
• Difficulty praying and entering into communion with God;
• It prevents the promises of God for us;
• Prevent my prosperity as a servant of God;
• I make room for bitterness, which results from a long lack of forgiveness; pollutes / damages many around us, destroys us, gives birth to other sins; crushes and totally destroys love.

We must try to see ourselves and not the mistakes of our spouse, understanding that all judgment belongs to the Lord; God’s eyes are attentive to how we will act before the challenge of forgiveness:

• When we forgive, we should not remember the sins of the past. Forgetting is not thinking about it; never again mention an offense that had already been forgiven;
• Like loving, forgiving is an act of will and not a feeling; make the decision to forgive and the feelings will follow;
• For God, there are no “big” or “small” sins; There is no way to justify our “little sin” in its own right, against the “great sin” of our spouse; because for God sin is sin;
• When we become judges of others, we can expect the same measure of judgment on us, whoever judges receives criticism from people who say: “he does the same or worse”;
• Only the power of God destroys all the barriers that prevent forgiveness; when I say “I can’t forgive” I mean “I don’t want to forgive”; This attitude comes from my pride, disobedience and in-submissiveness.

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? ‘ Matthew 6:25(NLT)

The biblical truth conscious Christian family will see money as a servant and not as a lord, so they will not live to get money at any price:

• Many marital mismatches, frictions, and even separations have their roots in the couple’s lack of proper financial planning – Matthew 14:20;
• The Christian family’s financial budget should include expenses with food, clothing, rent (or dividends), expenses with water, electricity, telephone, gas, health (doctor, dentist, pharmacy), education (tuition, books, school supplies), transport and leisure. All of this is necessary. You should also provide some form of savings for any family emergency. But first of all, there is the consecration of tithes and offerings to the Lord (Malachi 3:10) and help to those in need (Matthew 25: 31-46).

Practical suggestions for financial balance in the family:

• Avoid separate accounts. If the husband and wife work outside the home, they must add up their wages and together prioritize. Otherwise, there will be no prosperity;
• Do not use money to try to control family members, or to fill them with gifts in an attempt to make up for their absence;
• Have your own standard of living; do not want to compete with your neighbor, friend or relatives. Be content with what God has given you;
• Beware of unnecessary promotions and purchases. If you have a compulsion toward consumerism, pray about it and seek liberation;
• Be careful with your credit card, as it can easily unbalance your finances. Only buy in installments if you have a good margin of safety that you can pay without compromising your family budget and Christian witness (Psalm 37:21; Romans 13: 8);
• Only become someone’s guarantee if you have the financial conditions and the will to assume that person’s debt, if you cannot fulfill or pay your commitment (Proverbs 11:15; 17:18; 20:16; 22:26; 27: 13);
• Don’t borrow money, except in emergencies;
• Be honest in your business, keep your commitments up to date, pay Caesar (government) what is owed, and God for what His Word commands (Matthew 22:21).

Homework: 

1.  Review together what the family budget is like. Set priorities. Cut some unnecessary expenses. Debt control. Plan how to invest in moments of pleasure. Strive to be faithful to tithing. 

from A Cord of Three Strands

‘Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ‘ Galatians 6:7-9(NLT)

‘“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! ‘ Deuteronomy 30:19(NLT)

Today, we will identify that our choices and attitudes always have consequences. Tomorrow we will harvest the seeds we plant today. In our marriage it is the same, so we need to watch and choose carefully the seeds we are planting in our family. One of the points that leads to bad harvests is when we misuse the seed of money. Therefore, I invite you today to reflect on your attitudes and follow some tips on how to organize your seeds so that you can guarantee rich harvests in the future.

It is God who gives man the good seed to sow, but it is up to you to choose where he will sow it. There are three types of seeds:

• Biological seed: represents the sexual life of men and women. We can throw this good seed in the field of fornication, adultery, homosexuality and pornography, or we can throw it in the field of marriage – Hebrews 13:4;
• Financial seed: represents money and wealth. We can sow in the pleasures of the world, only in material goods and heritage, or we can sow in what is eternal, be faithful to the tithe and ask God for protection of our finances – Genesis 26:12-13;
• Seed of the word: it represents everything we speak, that our lips profess. We can sow in the field of lies, or in the field of truth – Proverbs 19:5.

How do we sow in the field of lies or in the field of truth?

• Lies:
  • “Our children are rebellious.”
  • “I don’t do anything right.”
  • “I never had and never will have anything.”
• Truth:
  • “Our children are taught by the Lord and will have an abundant life.”
  • “I can do everything in Christ who strengthens me.”
  • “The Lord will fill my barns and they will overflow. In everything I put my hand on, He will bless me.”

The soil is the heart of man. We are always planting in lives: in ourselves, in our spouse, in our children and in others. We must learn from Him who is the great sower of humanity, and continue sowing seeds of life – Matthew 13:18-23.

The harvest obeys two factors: time and multiplication.

It is important to recognize the good harvests and identify the seeds that produced them, to continue producing new crops. As for undesirable crops, you need to regret it. Repentance works as an herbicide.

Our marriage today is the result of planting and harvesting that we have done over the years. We need to analyze the crops that have been produced, decide what we must do to preserve good crops and eliminate unwanted ones.

Homework:

1. List what you have already sown in your life and marriage, and what the respective harvest was. Do the exercise separately, and then share the list with your spouse: 

a. What was the planting?

b. What am I reaping?

2.  Now, reviewing the previous list and wishing to keep only the good seeds and eliminate the bad ones, make a new list in how your new sowing will be:

a. The new sowing.

b. Harvest expectation.

3.  Together they choose the seed of an edible plant (coriander, basil, parsley, etc.), plant it in a pot, and begin to carefully observe the growth. Feed on the plant and each time you savor it, think about whether what you are sowing in life is giving the same pleasure to your spouse and to the other people around you.

from A Cord of Three Strands