Category: 1st Marriage

‘The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.’ Proverbs 18:21(NLT)

‘Wise words are like deep waters; wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook.’ Proverbs 18:4(NLT)

‘Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment.’ Proverbs 9:10(NLT)

‘But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. ‘ James 3:17(NLT)

Controlling the Tongue
‘Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.
True Wisdom Comes from God
If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.’ James 3:1-18(NLT)

 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”—Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)     

By Lisa Supp  

The Word of God is laced with wisdom about words and the power of the tongue. Yet, the verse for today has something interesting tucked inside of it. It says, “those who love it . . .” Love what? The tongue? Well, no. The “it” we are to love is wisdom. 

We see this earlier in the chapter where it says, “The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook” (Proverbs 18:4 NKJV). This means our words have a tendency to pour out like a flood of muddy water; but when used wisely, they can be like a refreshing spring. And good water equals good fruit. 

This verse is highlighted in my Bible because I often struggle with knowing what to say in a given situation, and more importantly, knowing the right (wise) thing to say. Anxiety creeps in, and before I know it, I have what my mother calls “diarrhea of the mouth.” Forgive the colorful language, but it illustrates how language can muddy the waters of communication when not filled with wisdom and grace. And muddy water equals unpleasant fruit. 

Take note, wisdom is not the same as knowledge. Case in point: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. A person can know there is a God, but wisdom begins through the fear of God (Proverbs 9:10). Wisdom grows when we have a relationship with God and follow the commands of Christ. As we grow in grace through the daily watering of the Word, our faith is fertilized and our wisdom increases. 

As ambassadors for Christ, we are compelled to use our words wisely. This is crucial in our marriages and families because we want to cultivate fruit (godliness). Perhaps that is why James, the brother of Jesus, had much to say about true wisdom and controlling the things we say. How much did a lifetime of being in the presence of Jesus influence his heart, flow through his words, and produce the invaluable wisdom and fruit of the Book of James? James shows us that wisdom from above is pure, gentle, peaceable, yielding, full of mercy and good fruits without partiality or hypocrisy (James 3:17). Ultimately, it is the wisdom and grace in the heart that puts a bridle on the tongue.

DIG: Read James chapter 3. What is the evidence of wisdom in a person’s life? 

DISCOVER: Read one chapter from the Book of Proverbs each day. You’ll finish in a month. Note/circle/highlight how many times words and wisdom are referred to. How does the evidence of wisdom in a person’s life influence his or her communication? 

DISPLAY: As you read these areas of Scripture, be prepared for the Holy Spirit to communicate with you. These impressions make room for growth. Pray for His guidance in each area and journal what you experience. You can later share with family and friends.

from Family Matters

‘She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her:’ Proverbs 31:27-28(NLT)  

‘The sayings of King Lemuel contain this message, which his mother taught him. O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, do not waste your strength on women, on those who ruin kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, to guzzle wine. Rulers should not crave alcohol. For if they drink, they may forget the law and not give justice to the oppressed. Alcohol is for the dying, and wine for those in bitter distress. Let them drink to forget their poverty and remember their troubles no more. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
A Wife of Noble Character
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.’ Proverbs 31:1-31(NLT)  

“She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her.”— Proverbs 31:27–28 (NLT)    

By Danny Saavedra

A lot has been written and said about the famous Proverbs 31 woman. Every Christian woman wants to be the Proverbs 31 woman and every Christian man wants to marry one. For some, it’s something to aspire to; for others it’s a daunting list they don’t feel equipped to live up to. If that’s you, I hope I’m able to encourage you today.

Here are a few things you may not know about the last chapter of Proverbs. Did you know that Proverbs 31 is a twenty-two-line poem? On the whole, this book of the Bible is about wisdom, and the “woman of noble character” referred to in this chapter is an expression of wisdom in action. The writer used the everyday good habits and practices of an upper-class Jewish wife—a woman who keeps her household functioning by buying, trading, investing, planting, sewing, spindling, managing servants, extending charity, providing food for the family, and preparing for each season—to show us the unsung glory of the everyday. 

As a poem, Proverbs 31 shouldn’t be interpreted as a job description or criteria for all women to live up to, but as a celebration of wisdom in the everyday aspects of life, meant to encourage us in the overlooked, mundane aspects of life, the ones we don’t consider difference makers. 

The other major thing to note is that the target audience for Proverbs 31 wasn’t women. It was never meant to be used by woman as a measuring stick. This was actually meant for men. It is something men in Jewish culture are intended to memorize so they may sing it as a song of praise to the women in their lives—their wives, daughters, sisters, and mothers. And if you really look closely, you’ll notice the only instructive language in it is directed at men, to praise their wives! 

So, to my sisters in Christ, please don’t ever be discouraged by Proverbs 31 or feel you have to “measure up.” Instead, keep seeking Christ, keep growing in Him daily, and living to honor Him. Do your best to abide in Him; this is the most praiseworthy life you can possibly live. 

To my brothers in Christ, remember to acknowledge the women in your life. Let them know how much you appreciate the things they do and the wisdom they exude every single day. I guarantee your words of affirmation mean more than you’ll ever know. 

DIG: What stands out to you about Proverbs 31?

DISCOVER: When was the last time you recognized an influential and important woman in your life? 

DISPLAY: Today, offer encouragement and affirmation to the women who have shaped your life. Thank them, show them your appreciation, and lavish them with praise!

from Family Matters

‘His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse.”’ Malachi 4:6(NLT)  

 “And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”—Malachi 4:6 (NKJV)      

By Lisa Tchvidjian 

God will restore families when He returns. Doesn’t that sound glorious? If there is one prevalent attack on the human race right now, it’s the attack on the family. We see families falling apart on every side. Marriages are falling apart, children are turning to substance abuse, families don’t speak to one another, and we wonder, Why? How is it that relationships have become so difficult to maintain? 

My husband and I were youth pastors when we were in our twenties. We often told parents that rules without relationship lead to rebellion. That is the key to the hearts of our kids. We must build relationships with them. Easier said than done in this day and age. It’s hard to have a conversation without our children being distracted by the pull of technology or entertainment. 

When I was a child we had Saturday morning cartoons and The Six Million Dollar Man on Thursday night. That was the extend of our television choices. Now my daughter has 12,000 shows to choose from. The fight to maintain a relationship with my child is real. 

So where do we begin? How do we make our relationships the priority? I believe the first step is being available. We need to have time and space in our lives to invest in our relationships. 

About two years ago, my husband and I built a deck in our backyard. It’s nothing fancy, just a rectangle of wood with a sofa, chairs, and a fire pit table. I can’t tell you the impact it has had on our family. The kids call it “The Porch Party.” We sit around the fire, eat, drink, laugh, listen to music, tell stories about our week, and just be together. We’ve had countless spontaneous evenings on that porch. It’s the one place in our home that is just about relationship, not television, cell phones, or computers. It’s a safe place where we can just be ourselves.

Maybe for you it’s picnics on the beach or weekends at the lake. It’s not about where or how, it’s about finding the time to invest in our relationships. Our culture is moving at such a fast pace. As believers, we have to be countercultural. We have to get off the merry-go-round of life and make time for our families to be a family. When we examine Jesus’ life here on earth, we see Him building relationships by doing this exact thing. He spent time with His disciples, simply talking and telling stories. That’s the key to relationship. Let’s turn our hearts to make our relationships a priority.

DIG: How can you make time and space in your life?

DISCOVER: Choose one relationship to invest in this week.

DISPLAY: Make your relationships your first priority.

from Family Matters