Category: 1st Marriage

‘But if you refuse to serve the Lord , then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord .”’ Joshua 24:15(NLT)

Our assignment as parents is not only to impart to our kids our knowledge of God, but also to give them a vision for their world. That’s what Joshua did, “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

You do this just as Joshua did it. Pray for your children, that God’s plan for their lives will be fulfilled. Also, give them a vision for the world. How? When you come home from work, tell them stories about how God showed up and is changing lives at your place of employment.

When you go on family vacations, look for ways on the road to get them involved in God’s kingdom work.

You and I are a part of a generational relay race in which we must make a good handoff to the next generation. Remember, your marriage and family are the headwaters of your legacy. What occurs downstream in history with your kids will flow only as strong as the source at home.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘I prayed to the Lord , and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.’ Psalms 34:4(NLT)

‘But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.’ Psalms 56:3(NLT)

‘“Be strong and courageous! Don’t be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria or his mighty army, for there is a power far greater on our side! He may have a great army, but they are merely men. We have the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles for us!” Hezekiah’s words greatly encouraged the people.’ 2 Chronicles 32:7-8(NLT)

‘You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!’ Isaiah 26:3(NLT)

The phrase “fear not” appears 365 times in the Bible. Like a daily vitamin, God has provided just what we need to conquer our daily dreads.

Faith in Jesus Christ and the promises of His Word will cause fear to flee. Instead of feeling terrorized, paralyzed, and hypnotized by our fears, faith galvanizes our character with courage. Why not commit one or more of the following verses to memory?

• “I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Ps. 34:4).
• “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You” (Ps. 56:3).
• “Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid nor dismayed before the king of Assyria, nor before all the multitude that is with him; for there are more with us than with him. With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the LORD our God, to help us and to fight our battles” (2 Chron. 32:7, 8).
• “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You” (Isaiah 26:3).

If you struggle with fear in your marriage and family, take those fears to a God who not only tells you not to fear, but who also gives you reason not to fear. He is the One Who can deliver you from your fears and replace them with peace, comfort, and courage.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. ‘ Romans 8:1(NLT)

‘No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.’ Philippians 3:13-14(NLT)

It is important to know that if you or your mate has confessed to God some past failures, they are completely forgiven. The Bible unequivocally declares, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Nevertheless, some believers find it hard to grasp that Christ took all the punishment they deserve. Even though Jesus did pay the total price for all our sins, many of us still feel shame, and so constantly replay mental images of past mistakes. The guilt can seem overpowering, especially when we see the long-term results of our selfish choices.

Let me encourage you to play a key role in nudging your spouse toward embracing God’s forgiveness. You and your spouse may want to consider memorizing Romans 8:1 together. You have the great privilege of reminding your mate of what God has done for us—no matter what we have done.

I recall one occasion early in our marriage when I was struggling with feeling shame because of some earlier mistakes. My wife was the one who reminded me of the truth, and who exhorted me to believe it. In fact, she firmly said to me, “Are you saying that God lied when He said ‘There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus’?” She went on to encourage me to believe the truth and not to deny it.

As Paul says in his letter to the Philippians, “One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13, 14). Leave the past in the past, and choose to believe what God’s Word says is true, instead of believing your feelings!

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.’ Genesis 50:21(NLT)

Can you imagine how relieved Joseph’s brothers felt when their now-powerful younger sibling told them, “Do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones”? And can you picture their body language when he “comforted them and spoke kindly to them”? Joseph’s words were powerful.

Our wives need the same kind of affirming words that create security and comfort. To encourage and bless your wife, affirm her consistently with pleasant, loving words. Let her know that you value, respect, and love her. Some evenings I come home, and I’m absolutely amazed at how busy my wife has been for me and the children. Running errands, settling squabbles, fixing meals—the list is endless.

Occasionally, I’ll miss my cue to encourage her and she’ll say, “You know what Iwould like you to do? Just tell me you appreciate what I’m doing for you!” You can tell your wife how much you appreciate her through specific compliments:

• “I appreciate your efforts to keep my clothes clean and pressed. You’re incredible!”
• “Thanks for looking so nice today.”
• “I appreciate always being able to count on you to follow through, no matter what.”
• “Thanks for being there—for always putting the children and me ahead of yourself.”

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘Then the other administrators and high officers began searching for some fault in the way Daniel was handling government affairs, but they couldn’t find anything to criticize or condemn. He was faithful, always responsible, and completely trustworthy. ‘ Daniel 6:4(NLT)

If people tried to find grounds for charging you with corruption, would they succeed? Can you be trusted to do what you know is right? Are you reliable? It was said of Daniel, “So the governors and satraps sought to find some charge against Daniel concerning the kingdom; but they could find no charge or fault, because he was faithful; nor was there any error or fault found in him.”

Daniel was a man of character, and character says quietly, yet convincingly, “I do what is right, even when no one is around to see. You can count on me—at any cost!” To get a sense of whether others consider you a person of character, answer the following questions:

• Do people constantly have to remind you to get things done?
• Is your word a premium seal that secures the deal?
• Do you return phone calls?
• Do your children believe you when you promise to do something?
• If you promise you’ll be home, do you call if you’re going to be late?

Imagine the impact Christians would have on society if we replaced compromise and unfaithfulness with dependability, consistency and obedience toward God! Perhaps we could raise an army of young Daniels.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘But Rebekah overheard what Isaac had said to his son Esau. So when Esau left to hunt for the wild game, she said to her son Jacob, “Listen. I overheard your father say to Esau, ‘Bring me some wild game and prepare me a delicious meal. Then I will bless you in the Lord ’s presence before I die.’ Now, my son, listen to me. Do exactly as I tell you. Go out to the flocks, and bring me two fine young goats. I’ll use them to prepare your father’s favorite dish. Then take the food to your father so he can eat it and bless you before he dies.” “But look,” Jacob replied to Rebekah, “my brother, Esau, is a hairy man, and my skin is smooth. What if my father touches me? He’ll see that I’m trying to trick him, and then he’ll curse me instead of blessing me.” But his mother replied, “Then let the curse fall on me, my son! Just do what I tell you. Go out and get the goats for me!”’ Genesis 27:5-13(NLT)

‘So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’ Ephesians 4:25-27(NLT)

Can you imagine how the biblical record might be different if Isaac and Rebekah had learned to deal with their conflicts through prayer, rather than through deceit and manipulation?

More to the point, would you like to do a better job of resolving conflict in your marriage? If so, then we encourage you to discover the power of praying together. Even though praying in the middle of a conflict is just as important as praying during calm seas, most of us don’t feel like praying with an opponent. But inviting the Prince of Peace into your boat in the middle of the storm is truly the answer.

For some of the best advice on how to resolve conflict in marriage, you have only to turn to Ephesians 4:25–27, “Therefore, putting away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,’ for we are members of one another. ‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

Note especially the phrase, “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” If that single principle were observed, most marital conflicts would be resolved much sooner! The next time you have a conflict, instead of turning away to be angry, find a way to turn toward one another and God and pray together as a couple.

We have done this since 1972, and we can honestly say that this spiritual discipline of prayer has helped us resolve many conflicts.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘Then your children will ask, ‘What does this ceremony mean?’ ‘ Exodus 12:26(NLT)

‘When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:11(NLT)

‘Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.’ Ephesians 6:4(NLT)

One day I asked the students in my sixth grade Sunday school class, “Do you guys know what a clean kitchen looks like?” They all started laughing and said, “Yeah, we know what it looks like.”

“So” I said, “Why don’t you do it?”

They all replied, “We like to aggravate you guys. We like to get to you.” It is fascinating that by age twelve our children know what they ought to do, but they try to be obstinate. They may begin to look something like adults, but they’re not. We have to remember we’re raising children, so we shouldn’t be surprised when they act childishly. They have to be taught the significance of important things, because they won’t get it on their own.

First Corinthians 13:11 says that maturity involves putting away childish things. As parents, we need to first teach our children basic life skills, and then train them through demonstration and practice. If they get something wrong, we gently correct them. But if they are stubborn or rebellious, we may need to discipline them while making sure we are not provoking them to anger (Eph. 6:4).

When we assign chores and then follow up to make sure they’ve been completed, we need to inspect what we expect. We also want to make sure we don’t lose our relationship with our child. If we get so angry that we begin to sever that relationship, then we, as the adults, need to remind ourselves of what’s really important.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!’ Micah 7:19(NLT)

If you accept your mate only in part, you can love him or her only in part. That’s why unconditionally accepting your mate is so important.

While serving aboard a gunboat in Vietnam, Dave Roever was holding a phosphorus grenade some six inches from his face when a sniper’s bullet ignited the explosive. The first time he saw himself after the explosion, he says he saw a monster, not a human being.“ I was alone in the way the souls in hell must feel alone,” he wrote.

When he returned to the states, he feared how his young bride, Brenda, would react. He had just watched a wife tell another burn victim that she wanted a divorce. But when Brenda walked in, she kissed him on what was left of his face, smiled, and said, “Welcome home,

Davey! I love you.”

That’s what marriage is all about. Marriage is another person being committed enough to you to accept the real you, scars and all. It means two people working together to heal their deepest wounds. It means following the example of God in our marriage, “He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.”

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘“The Lord has gifted Bezalel, Oholiab, and the other skilled craftsmen with wisdom and ability to perform any task involved in building the sanctuary. Let them construct and furnish the Tabernacle, just as the Lord has commanded.”’ Exodus 36:1(NLT)

‘Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.’ Psalms 127:1(NLT)

The dictionary traditionally defines understanding as “the faculty of the human mind by which it . . . comprehends the ideas which others express and intend to communicate.” Yet in the Bible, understanding is not just a transfer of information, but empathy for the other person.

Consider Exodus 36:1, which tells how two craftsmen named Bezalel and Aholiab were given divine wisdom and understanding, “to know how to do all manner of work for the service of the sanctuary,” so that they could “do according to all that the LORD has commanded.”

This is a scriptural example of what the Bible refers to as “understanding.” These men, and the other artisans working under their supervision, were given the divine ability not only to know how to work their magic with gold and silver and leather and beautiful fabrics and thread, but also how to communicate with one another in a way that would move their assignment forward.

We have found that this kind of understanding—the kind that goes beyond mere facts to empathize with the other—is essential in building our relationship and family. When I know that she tries to understand some situation from my perspective (and vice versa), it’s amazing how problems dissipate. As we make Jesus Christ the Builder of our homes (Psalm 127:1), we can begin to see our relationships reflect God’s character.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

‘Jehoshaphat was terrified by this news and begged the Lord for guidance. He also ordered everyone in Judah to begin fasting. ‘ 2 Chronicles 20:3(NLT)

‘“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. ‘ John 15:5(NLT)

‘And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ’. 1 Corinthians 11(NLT)

Children need the prayers of their parents. Why does it so often take a crisis, like the one that faced ancient Judah, for us to come before the Lord? “Now all Judah, with their little ones, their wives, and their children, stood before the LORD.”

We must not allow ourselves to be deterred or discouraged in this process. Here are two suggestions to help you pray for your children with both effectiveness and power.

1. Acknowledge that your children belong first to God, then to you. Acknowledge that His love for them is even greater than your love for them. Acknowledge that He can and does influence them more than you do. Acknowledge your own dependence upon Him to fulfill the calling He’s given you as a parent (see John 15:5).
2. Be an example of Christian integrity for your children. Don’t be their excuse for not living as they ought. Be available to pray with, and not just for, your children. Be trustworthy as a model of Christlikeness.

Recall what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.” Your divine calling is to be what you desire them to be.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan