Category: 1st Marriage

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1st Marriage ZZ

Sweetening Your Sex Life – Day 2

‘Oh, how beautiful you are! How pleasing, my love, how full of delights! You are slender like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like grape clusters, and the fragrance of your breath like apples. May your kisses be as exciting as the best wine—
Young Woman
Yes, wine that goes down smoothly for my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth. I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own. Come, my love, let us go out to the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers. Let us get up early and go to the vineyards to see if the grapevines have budded, if the blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates have bloomed. There I will give you my love.’ Song of Songs 7:6-12(NLT)

When a couple both guards and cherishes the sexual intimacy in their marriage, they share a bond designed to give life, vitality, and enjoyment. In fact, God so wired the chemicals in our bodies that regular marital intercourse actually produces a chemical connection to each other. 

God has created different hormones to release before, during, and after sex in such a way that enables married couples to strengthen the stability of their relationship through this shared gift (Song of Solomon 7:6-12)..

Prayer is also a way to cultivate your sexual relationship. Whatever needs or lack you may be experiencing in your sexual intimacy as a married couple can (and should) be addressed to God in prayer. We offer this opening guided-prayer as a way of getting you thinking toward your own prayers on this subject of sexual expression in marriage.

Praising God

“Heavenly Father, You created this gift of sexual intimacy which is to be cherished, honored, and enjoyed within a marriage. You placed within us various hormones that give us the opportunity for great pleasure and a strengthening of our bond together. Thank You for creating sex and allowing us to have this to share together in our marriage. 

As we remain intimate with each other as a couple, we continue to experience a depth of love that reflects Your love for us. We praise and honor You for Your provision of delight, physical satisfaction, and intimacy. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

from Sweetening Your Sex Life

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1st Marriage ZZ

Sweetening Your Sex Life – Day 1

‘Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.’ Proverbs 5:18-19(NLT)

One way to express intimacy in the Biblical Hebrew culture came through the repetition of a name. We see this happen multiple times in Scripture. Examples include:

· God calling out to Abraham as he is about to sacrifice Isaac (Abraham, Abraham)

· God sending Jacob on a journey of significance (Jacob, Jacob)

· The message from the burning bush (Moses, Moses)

· The whisper in the night to the prophet-in-training at the temple (Samuel, Samuel)

· Jesus’ comforting Martha in the midst of her brother’s death (Martha, Martha)

· Jesus weeping over Jerusalem who is like a lost sheep (O, Jerusalem, Jerusalem)

The repetition of a name signifies a closeness and depth of care beyond the norm. Names reflect who we are. They are tied to us uniquely and personally. In fact, there are some cultures in Africa where a person’s name is considered so intimate that it is only allowed to be spoken of by an immediate relative. Everyone else in this region must use a form of father, mother, sister or brother combined with another identifying factor when calling on that person. 

Intimacy identifies a different level of relationship, whether it comes through language, proximity or affection. Sexual intimacy offers us the deepest expression of closeness and care with another and, because of that, should be one of the most guarded and cherished aspects of the marriage relationship (Proverbs 5:18-19). 

Guarding the marital sexual relationship does not only refer to protecting your heart and mind from external infringements or distractions. It also refers to finding new ways to protect your sexual relationship with your spouse from the futility of familiarity. This might include looking for new ways, locations or times of day to fully enjoy each other. 

Sending loving text messages throughout the day or leaving notes around the house can also ignite emotions and feelings toward each other, setting the stage for sexual engagement later on. And while marital sex involves a depth beyond just the physical, being mindful that God has created the physical for each other’s enjoyment can serve as an impetus for paying attention to personal appearance and clothing throughout the day that your spouse particularly likes. Cherishing your sexual relationship involves consistency, care, and discovery concerning what truly pleases each other.

 from Sweetening Your Sex Life

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1st Marriage ZZ

Deepen Your Intimacy With God

A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem. A psalm of David.
‘How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron’s head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe. Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion. And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing, even life everlasting.’ Psalms 133:1-3(NLT)

‘Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.’ Ephesians 4:1-6(NLT)

As you may have guessed from today’s readings, there’s one final way to deepen your intimacy with your spouse, and that’s to deepen your intimacy… with God. Think of God as the center of a circle, and you and your spouse as two points on the edge of that circle. Now draw lines from those points to the center. Got it? Think about it: the closer you and your spouse journey toward God – the center – the closer you will be to one another. This works whether you start on opposite sides of the circle or right next to one another; as you move toward the center, you’ll only grow closer and closer. How are you and your spouse working toward deepening your spiritual intimacy? Sharing this scripture-reading plan is a start; now move on toward talking about your faith, reading the same devotional books, or discussing the Sunday sermon on the way home from church. Spiritual intimacy through this kind of unity is possibly the most eternally rewarding kind of intimacy in marriage, so take some time now and in the future to go deep with God… and with each other.

from 4 Days To Deeper Intimacy In Marriage

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1st Marriage ZZ

Humility Leads To Intimacy

‘The Lord detests the use of dishonest scales, but he delights in accurate weights. Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Honesty guides good people; dishonesty destroys treacherous people.’ Proverbs 11:1-3(NLT)

‘Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges ; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.’ Philippians 2:1-11(NLT)

Another key component of intimacy, as we read today, is humility. Humility leads us closer to one another as we prefer our spouse over ourselves. Too often we can think of marriage as a point-scoring game where one of us has to “win;” unfortunately, if one of you “wins,” you both lose. In marriage, you either both win or neither of you wins. This is why you must approach one another humbly and honestly, ready to serve one another. Nothing will bring your more intimacy in your marriage than humbling yourself and owning up to every flaw, frustration, and imperfection you have. Once you do this, then you can both extend and receive grace to one another. And when you do that? Just watch how deep you go.

from 4 Days To Deeper Intimacy In Marriage

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1st Marriage ZZ

Sex Plays A Role In Intimacy

‘You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices. Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue. Your clothes are scented like the cedars of Lebanon. You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain. Your thighs shelter a paradise of pomegranates with rare spices— henna with nard, nard and saffron, fragrant calamus and cinnamon, with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes, and every other lovely spice. You are a garden fountain, a well of fresh water streaming down from Lebanon’s mountains.
Young Woman
Awake, north wind! Rise up, south wind! Blow on my garden and spread its fragrance all around. Come into your garden, my love; taste its finest fruits.’ Song of Songs 4:9-16(NLT)

‘Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.’ Proverbs 5:15-19(NLT)

‘The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:3-5(NLT)

Last time we talked about how marital intimacy means so much more than just sex. But it does include sex. And that’s what today’s readings are all about. Because physical intimacy is key to maintaining a long-lasting, deep intimacy with your spouse. Sex isn’t intended to be some sort of obligation or, as the old term went, “marital duty;” sex is intended to be a wonderful moment of pleasure and enjoyment! In marriage, the act of sex is one of the most expressive, vulnerable, and wordless ways you can create intimacy, as you and your spouse truly enjoy one another’s company, which is something that today’s readings express wonderfully. So make some time together with your spouse today. Deepen your intimacy physically with one another. It’s biblical!

from 4 Days To Deeper Intimacy In Marriage

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1st Marriage ZZ

You Were Created To Be One

‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:18-25(NLT)

‘But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Mark 10:6-9(NLT)

Husbands and wives: you were created to be one. That’s the way God set it up and that’s the way it should be. So why does it sometimes feel like you’re far, far away from that ideal? Intimacy can suffer when we get away from our God-ordained status of drawing together. Often when we hear the words “intimacy” and “marriage” together, we think the conversation is going to be about sex. And yes, sex is important for building intimacy! But it’s not the only aspect of true marital intimacy. Over these next four days, embrace one another and embrace the scriptures you read as you learn more about deepening your intimacy on your way to a healthier, stronger marriage.

from 4 Days To Deeper Intimacy In Marriage

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1st Marriage ZZ

Train Them to Walk with God

‘And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will guide you with knowledge and understanding.’ Jeremiah 3:15(NLT)

According to the hundreds of parents surveyed at Family Life marriage conferences, the number-one need of parents is learning how to effectively train their children to walk with God. We want our children to have good jobs and healthy marriages and families, but what matters most is that they each have a vital relationship with Christ.

We have the unique privilege of shepherding our children’s hearts so that as they grow older, they will desire to remain close to the heart of God. It is a profound responsibility, “And I will give you shepherds according to My heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding.”

In order for your children to embrace their God-given identity, they need to understand who God is and that knowing Him is the key to what life is all about. Some key concepts about God for you to share with your children are:

  • God alone is Lord—there is no other.
  • God is eternal.
  • God is sovereign and has absolute authority.
  • God has personality—mind, emotions, and will.
  • God is love—He made human beings for relationships, both with Himself and with each other.
  • God created us in His image—we are made to reflect God’s love to others.
  • God loves us—each of us is a person of value.

As our children learn these basic attributes of God, they will begin to see He is the One who gives their lives ultimate purpose and meaning. A. W. Tozer’s statement is worth repeating, “The most important thing you think is what you think about God.”

Ultimately, it’s not who our children or even what family they come from that matters. It’s what they think about God and who they are in Him.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

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1st Marriage ZZ

A Place of Refuge

‘Those who fear the Lord are secure; he will be a refuge for their children. Fear of the Lord is a life-giving fountain; it offers escape from the snares of death.’ Proverbs 14:26-27(NLT)

Would you like your family to exhibit strong courage in this fear-ridden world? Would you like your children to have a place of refuge in the midst of trouble? Would you like them to drink from a fountain of life and be able to escape the death traps that ensnare so many others?

Here is where that kind of courage and character begins, “In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge. The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to turn one away from the snares of death.”

To fear God means that you practice the presence of God in the midst of everyday choices. This means that if you are to teach your children to fear God, then you must choose to live a life that seeks to please Him in all respects. If you have the fear of the Lord, then you can infect your children with the same life-giving disease.

Those who fear the Lord apply the Scriptures to effectively meet whatever challenges come their way. They aren’t perfect, but as they depend on God for strength, they will find that His power can equip them to meet every challenge they face. This is why the fear of the Lord is described as the beginning of wisdom—godly skill in everyday living.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

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1st Marriage ZZ

Teach Them the Value of Excellence

‘“The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’’ Matthew 25:21(NLT)

‘Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. ‘ Colossians 3:23(NLT)

When your children listen to you speak or watch you work, do they get the idea that believers in Jesus Christ should strive for excellence in everything they do? Do they see you working wholeheartedly for the Lord, and not for men? We believe this should be one of our primary tasks, to use both our words and our actions to encourage our children toward a life of excellence.

Of course, we do not mean attaining perfection or applying identical standards to every child. Rather, we propose that within their God-given capabilities every child be challenged to rise above the crowd, to seek higher standards of achievement, and to become all that God has gifted him or her to be.

This was a real challenge, especially during the years when we had four teenagers living in our home. There’s always tension between understanding a child’s talent and ability and stretching them to attainable goals. Many times my wife and I would pray and ask God if we were too lenient, and on other occasions we’d ask Him if we were too tough. In every situation, it was our dependence upon God that helped us decide and trust Him with both the process and the results.

Training children to step above mediocrity also helps them reject mediocrity in their relationships with God. Jesus pointed to a coming day when God will say to His diligent children, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things.”

It is our job as parents to teach our children to be trustworthy, to fulfill their commitments, and to do a good job even when nobody is looking. In the end, they need to learn to do their work “heartily, as to the Lord.”

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan

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1st Marriage ZZ

Arrows in Your Hand

‘Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.’ Psalms 127:4(NLT)

It has been said that a child is a parent’s heart walking around outside his body.

In Psalm 127:4, God compares children to “arrows in the hand of warrior.” Arrows are not designed to stay in the quiver. Arrows are created for flight, to rush toward God’s target. They’re meant for battle. And from the time you bring them home from the hospital, those little arrows must be shaped, sharpened, and honed for God’s intended purpose.

Every archer worth his salt can tell you there is pain in launching an arrow. As the archer lets go, his left forearm can be painfully stung with the slap of the string. The same is true of a parent’s heart. While the arrow is enjoying the flight he was made for, the heart of a parent feels the sting of the release.

Releasing is also scary. Will they fly straight? Will they get blown off course? Will they fall short of the God’s intended destination for their lives?

You’ll never know if you don’t release them. You’ll never know what God has intended specifically for each one. In fact, they’ll never grow up at all if you keep them safe in your quiver, away from the battlefield. At the appropriate time, take careful aim. Pull back slowly and deliberately launch your arrow. Then resist the urge to pull that arrow back and into the quiver where it’s safe.

We’ve launched six and trust me, it got tougher to let go with each arrow! But we’ve learned that we must let go if our children are to fly toward the target that God has for them.

from Marriage and Family Life Reading Plan