Category: 1st Marriage

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1st Marriage ZZ

How Does God Confirm His Purpose?

‘All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. ‘ 2 Timothy 3:16(NLT)

‘He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.’ Psalms 23:3(NLT)

‘He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.’ Isaiah 40:29(NLT)

‘And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ‘ Romans 8:28 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/ROM.8.28

‘At the sound of Mary’s greeting, Elizabeth’s child leaped within her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.’ Luke 1:41(NLT)

‘As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. ‘ Matthew 1:20(NLT)

‘Then Gideon said to God, “If you are truly going to use me to rescue Israel as you promised, prove it to me in this way. I will put a wool fleece on the threshing floor tonight. If the fleece is wet with dew in the morning but the ground is dry, then I will know that you are going to help me rescue Israel as you promised.” And that is just what happened. When Gideon got up early the next morning, he squeezed the fleece and wrung out a whole bowlful of water. Then Gideon said to God, “Please don’t be angry with me, but let me make one more request. Let me use the fleece for one more test. This time let the fleece remain dry while the ground around it is wet with dew.” So that night God did as Gideon asked. The fleece was dry in the morning, but the ground was covered with dew.’ Judges 6:36-40(NLT)

‘“Throw it down on the ground,” the Lord told him. So Moses threw down the staff, and it turned into a snake! Moses jumped back. Then the Lord told him, “Reach out and grab its tail.” So Moses reached out and grabbed it, and it turned back into a shepherd’s staff in his hand.’ Exodus 4:3-4(NLT)

A Timeless Truth

God reveals His purpose for your marriage through His Word, confirms His plans through your circumstances, and affirms ongoing direction through people.

No couple reaches their destiny in a single leap. Instead, they fulfill God’s purpose for their marriage by putting one foot in front of the other, moving as God directs, and by constantly evaluating, “What has God called us to? What has He promised? And where is He leading?” Pretty simple, huh? Yet how often do we meander through life never asking those questions? Or, when we do ask, wonder if we possess the ability to discern God’s purpose. Thankfully, God reinforces His directions clearly, confidently, and concisely.

He will reveal His purpose for your marriage through His Word, confirm His plan through your circumstances, and affirm ongoing direction through people.

God’s Word provides direction, purpose, and the measuring stick to discern whether what we’re thinking is His idea, our idea, or something else entirely. God will never instruct us to do something contrary to the Bible. All Scripture is God-breathed and was given to instruct and lead us (2 Timothy 3:16). His Word promises that God will lead the steps of the righteous (Psalm 23:3; Isaiah 40:29), and will use all things—the things perceived as good and the things perceived as bad—for our good (Romans 8:28).

All throughout Scripture, God demonstrates that He uses circumstances and people to confirm His purpose. He offered Mary comfort when John the Baptist leaped within Elizabeth’s womb (Luke 1:41). He reassured Joseph through dreams (Matthew 1:20; 2:12−13, 19, 22). At Gideon’s request, He confirmed His purpose by saturating a fleece and surrounding it with dry ground. And then, at a second request, God saturated the dry ground but kept the fleece dry (Judges 6:36−40). For Moses, He turned a rod into a snake to reassure him that He was with him (Exodus 4:3−4).

Sometimes we want God to fill in all the sketchy details with a “go do this and go do that” kind of list. Instead, God typically calls each one of us to walk our journey in faith, and, as we faithfully follow, He confirms His purpose through His Word and affirms His purpose though our circumstances.

Consider how God is speaking to you through His Word, confirming through your circumstances and affirming through others.

from 2 Are Better Than 1: Uncover Your Marriage Purpose

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1st Marriage ZZ

Do You Live Problem-Focused or Purpose-Focused?

‘And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. ‘ Romans 12:1(NLT)

‘throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.’ Ephesians 4:22-24(NLT)

‘And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ‘ Philippians 4:8(NLT)

‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.’ 2 Timothy 1:7(NLT)

‘We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. And after you have become fully obedient, we will punish everyone who remains disobedient.’ 2 Corinthians 10:5-6(NLT)

‘By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. ‘ 2 Peter 1:3(NLT)

A Timeless Truth

You find what you are looking for.

All leaders of thought agree that we become what we think about, we get what we expect, and we find what we’re looking for. King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said it this way: “As a man thinks in his heart, so he is” (Proverbs 23:7). The key to this profound revelation is applying it to our everyday thoughts and marriage. After all, if King Solomon and every other leader of thought is right, that our outcome begins in our mind-set, then if we constantly focus on our issues, we unwittingly perpetuate the subject of our thoughts—the problem. However, if we harness our thinking to align with God’s, embracing the truth that we are created on purpose for a purpose, we reap the benefits of living fully and powerfully in the design He ordained for our lives and marriage.

Don’t be confused. We aren’t saying problems, adversity, and conflict don’t exist; unfortunately, they’re a part of every relationship. However, the solution, triumph, and victory for our marriage hinges on our ability to shift our focus from our personal Goliaths to the magnitude of God’s power and purpose for our relationship. When couples begin to shift their attention from the problem and focus on living God’s purpose, life happens.

All throughout Scripture, God encourages us to not be conformed to the world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:1), and to put off the old man with all its deceitful ways and be renewed in the spirit of our mind (Ephesians 4:22-24). The Apostle Paul writes, “if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8). As couples, we are not powerless to our thoughts (2 Timothy 1:7). We can demolish every lie opposing who God says we are by capturing our thoughts and making them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5−6).

Take a moment to ask yourself: Do I live problem-focused or purpose-focused in my marriage? God designed you distinctly for a purpose and equipped you with everything you need to fulfill your marriage purpose (2 Peter 1:3). Today, focus your attention on God’s intention for your marriage and exchange your problems for His purpose.

from 2 Are Better Than 1: Uncover Your Marriage Purpose

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1st Marriage ZZ

Are There Clues?

‘For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.’ Romans 11:36(NLT)

‘“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.’ Matthew 5:14-16(NLT)

‘“You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased.”’ Revelation 4:11(NLT)

‘for through him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see— such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through him and for him.’ Colossians 1:16(NLT)

‘So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. ‘ John 13:34(NLT)

‘This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. ‘ John 15:12(NLT)

‘As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. ‘ Ephesians 5:31-32(NLT)

‘Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself.’ Revelation 19:7(NLT)

A Timeless Truth

The foundations for our marriage purpose must be established by God and for God (Romans 11:36).

Regardless of your specific marriage purpose, God intended for every marriage to make Him known (Matthew 5:14−16), bring Him pleasure (Revelation 4:11; Colossians 1:16), and demonstrate His unconditional love (John 13:34; 15:12).

Make God Known (Matthew 5:14−16)

In Matthew, Jesus provided an undeniable application for every marriage; our light should first provide light to our own household. Why? Because we reveal who we really are behind closed doors. How we respond, interact, and speak to our spouse and children offers the clearest indication of our heart’s condition. If we want to leave a lasting legacy and live a life of significance, we must live God’s purpose within the walls of our home. Your marriage purpose will always bring life to one another and to your family first.

We Were Created to Bring God Pleasure (Revelation 4:11; Colossians 1:16)

In The Practice of the Presence, Brother Lawrence writes, “Our sole occupation in life is to please God.” Can you imagine how different our world would be if our sole occupation and only ambition was to bring God delight? It brings God pleasure when we extend our gifts back to Him, for His service, and live according to the purpose He designed for our marriage.

Demonstrate His Unconditional Love (John 13:34; 15:12)

When we first married, unconditional love seemed impossible. We both reservedly offered our love with conditions. Julie struggled with insecurities, stemming from earlier childhood abuse. It took years to unravel unspoken vows of “I’ll never let another man hurt me.” Likewise, Greg conditioned his love with qualifiers of “I won’t be controlled by anyone.” As you might imagine, our individual mandates obstructed our ability to express love unconditionally. Yet one of God’s greatest invitations is to love as He loves us. All throughout Scripture, God illustrates His love for the church by comparing it with the love of a husband and wife (Ephesians 5:31−32; Revelation 19:7).

As you continue on your quest to seek and discover your specific marriage purpose, remember: Every marriage purpose will make God known, bring Him pleasure, and demonstrate His unconditional love.

from 2 Are Better Than 1: Uncover Your Marriage Purpose

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1st Marriage ZZ

What Is God’s Big Idea?

‘Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish. I will call a swift bird of prey from the east— a leader from a distant land to come and do my bidding. I have said what I would do, and I will do it.’ Isaiah 46:10-11(NLT)

‘Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”’ Genesis 1:26-28(NLT)

Statistically, it’s been suggested that 92–98 percent of evangelical believers struggle to identify their God-given purpose. With such a staggering statistic, it only stands to reason that the percentage for couples identifying their God-given purpose together must be even higher. Living out an individual’s purpose with clarity is tough enough, let alone combining it with another’s. Kids, career struggles, and our everyday demands muddy the already murky waters of uncertainty. Yet God’s big idea, His very purpose for your marriage, will be accomplished. Just as we see in Isaiah 46:10−11, He declares His plans from the very beginning and ensures they will be done.

What is God’s big idea?

“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule…'”  (Genesis 1:26).

Did you catch it?

God’s big idea is Adam and Eve.

And that plan hasn’t changed. Since the beginning of time, God created man and woman to bear His image. He destined their union as the crowning jewel to His creation, saving the best for last. His invitation to “fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28) supplies the framework for every future generation and presents a prerequisite for accomplishment.

God’s purpose for Adam and Eve’s existence would only be completed if they fulfilled His assignment together. And since then nothing’s changed. The task of governing, ruling, and multiplying required Adam and Eve’s interdependency—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—the same that’s required of you with your spouse.

God created you and your spouse for a work that only the two of you can accomplish together. He foresaw all your differences and carefully combined them together to complement one another. With great loving care, He fashioned you with common interests and instilled values to resonate with one another to make you one. With even greater care, God enmeshed and infused all of those qualities for His well-planned purpose. Why? Because as Ecclesiastes 4:9−12 reminds, two are better than one. Together, you will accomplish more than either of you could on your own.

Begin inviting God to reveal His purpose for your marriage and take steps toward living purpose-focused, not problem-focused, in your marriage.

from 2 Are Better Than 1: Uncover Your Marriage Purpose

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1st Marriage ZZ

Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional – Day 5

‘He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross.’ Colossians 2:14-15(NLT)

One last thing: Not the things we bring into the marriage, or the things done against us, but the things we continually do in the current marriage.

It’s in those moments, especially early on in the marriage, you realize the first year of marriage is very much a crucible. Two lives completely thrown together in all areas (financial, creatively, job wise, sexuality, and more) there is bound to be friction. And in that friction we are tempted to think the other person is the problem. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t happen with Alyssa and me.

Why doesn’t she just act more like me?

Why doesn’t she do it this way?

It all comes down to framework: If you believe marriage is to make you happy, then you will be severely disappointed. (Now, does marriage make you happy? It sure does for us! But that’s not the point of marriage.) And when you believe that, you argue and fight differently. If your personal happiness is paramount, then anything that impedes that, like all of your spouse’s differences from you, then you’ll push back against that.

What if marriage isn’t meant to make you happy, but to make you holy?

And I don’t mean holy in the simplistic (actually false) definition of strict morality and whether or not you do this or don’t do that. Holiness by definition simply means “set apart, or sacred, or my favorite—different.” 

And so in some ways you can say, marriage is about making you different.

Or another way to put it is, marriage is about making you look more like Jesus.

When you realize that you no longer see disagreements or differences or your spouse’s peculiarities as annoying or maddening, but instead see them as opportunities to actually grow into your true self—the image of God reflected to be more and more like Jesus.

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional

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1st Marriage ZZ

Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional – Day 4

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NLT)

One Wednesday morning I had my mom friends over for a Bible study, and the one leading that day, who was a bit older than us and had kids in high school, shared how she loves “submitting” to her husband. I laughed and made a remark under my breath, “Man, if only I could say the same thing.” And it hit me–how I wanted to take the reins, push Jeff aside, and assert myself as though I knew what was best.

The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart that morning and showed me how I was in the wrong. I realized that I can rejoice in submitting to Jeff, too, because God had blessed me with an incredible husband who loves Jesus and wants to lead our home. He wanted to have a vision for our family, to be present, to lead them with grace and truth.

God didn’t want Jeff to forcefully lead our family, to treat me like my opinion doesn’t exist; nor did He intend for me to argue with Jeff, or demean him every time I disagreed with him on a topic. He wants us to listen to each other, to work things out together, for me to trust Jeff because I can trust God working in him, and for Jeff to be sensitive to my intuitions and gracefully lead our home.

Jeff and I are a team. He doesn’t just make plans and not include me or expect me to automatically follow his every idea and thought. Rather, we run everything by each other, and if we’re on the same page, then it’s a go. God put us together, including our strengths, so we work together. But I realized that I could trust God working in Jeff to make the best decisions for our family, and enjoy working together instead of trying to push him aside. When we work in this rhythm, it is the best. It’s how God intended it.

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional

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1st Marriage ZZ

Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional – Day 3

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NLT)

How did I know Alyssa was the one? Because I married her. She became the one the minute I committed my life to her. I know it’s really unromantic, but Alyssa and I agree that we both could’ve married someone else and probably been totally happy and have had a great life.

It’s not about finding the mythical magical unicorn but about finding someone who will be a great partner for life. And frankly, “the one” doesn’t really make sense from a logical standpoint. All it would take is for one guy fifteen hundred years ago to marry the wrong person (not the one for him), and he would create an endless cycle all the way down to you and me since he married someone else’s “the one” and so on and so on. 

Though we don’t like to admit it, trying to find the one stalls growth in ourselves because our idea of the one essentially becomes whoever will make us change the least or whoever is so perfectly suited for us that we don’t need to grow, learn, or change.

It also crushes the other person because no one can carry that weight. People disappoint each other, hurt each other, and we all have struggles and sins. Viewing another person as your savior is a crushing calling. Only Jesus can handle the weight of that burden, and when we understand the weight of our expectation, it frees us and the other person to become who God wants us to be. 

In God’s providence, there is a certain level of weaving and moving and bringing two people together. If you’re not already married, it’s possible God has someone for you who you might not even know yet. So we have to be careful. Alyssa and I have seen people justify divorce because, well, their spouse just “wasn’t the one.” For Alyssa and me, it was actually incredibly freeing when we realized that there were plenty of people we could have married, but we chose each other. That’s what matters.

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional

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1st Marriage ZZ

Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional – Day 2

‘For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.’ Psalms 84:11(NLT)

My husband, as wonderful as he is, does not complete me or fill my heart. I  enjoy him, and I love doing life with him, but ultimately the Lord is the one  who satisfies every part of my soul. The Lord fills me with joy. The Lord knows my every thought and word and movement. He alone is the Lover of my soul. And at the end of the day, whatever happens or wherever your heart may be, you can rest knowing that you are deeply loved, cherished, and wanted by the King of kings. He knows all of you, every part, and loves you more than you will ever fathom, more than you can ever comprehend and more than anyone else ever will.

 

And as you wait on Him, you can have His hope be the anchor of your soul.  The hope that He is with you, He wants you, He desires you, He is for you, and He is working on your behalf. The hope that He hears you, He is in  control, and that He is good. I cling to Psalm 84:11: “The Lord our God is a  sun and shield; He gives grace and glory. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” . . .

 

 Likewise, God is giving you what is best in this very moment. You can trust  His good work in your life. God is writing a good story just for you. It’s your story. It doesn’t look like anyone else’s story. It’s unique, and set apart and beautiful. Even if it doesn’t feel beautiful, or is not what you would have written, it’s good and if you let Him, He will bring you into joy that you never thought possible, and that people will see and say, “Wow, your God is amazing!”

 

 But let’s be honest: we don’t always find ourselves in that place, do we?  Often we live with unmet dreams and desires—whether it’s for a season, a really long season, or the whole time we’re on this side of heaven. . . . For some, he wants to teach you that you don’t need to put your life on pause until you’re married—because that might never happen. You can live your life now. God has hopes and dreams and plans for you as a single person, not just as a married person. Marriage isn’t the finish line, Jesus is.

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional

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1st Marriage ZZ

Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional – Day 1

‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. ‘ Genesis 1:1(NLT)

‘But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.’ 1 John 4:8(NLT)

We are lovesick and love diseased. Our views of romance, sexuality, dating, and marriage are killing us. We’ve been infected for years and hadn’t realized it. It almost killed me in high school and stayed with me in college, like shrapnel in my soul that I’m still plucking out and finding healing for. Nothing has caused me more pain, grief, and hurt than previous relationships and my pursuit of love. . . .

The reason love, romance, and sexuality feels so right, even when it’s wrong, is because we were created for it. Even the distortions hold an element of truth; that’s what a distortion is, an alteration of the original. But there’s more. So much more. God doesn’t want to take away our joy; He wants to give us more of it. He doesn’t want to take away our sexual desire; He wants to give us the context in which it works the best. God doesn’t want us to hate romance; He wants to introduce us to the greatest love story of all time.

In order to realize where we went so wrong, we first need to see where it was all so right. Where this intoxicating intimacy and love comes from in the first place.

In the first couple of words of Scripture, an assumption is made: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth,” which implies that before those things were created, God still was, and is, and is to come. He was there before anything. And immediately we get a hint as well at the divine mystery that is the Trinity. He says, “Let us make man in our own image,” implying a plurality, yet at the same time we see the obvious singularity of this Creator. It takes a while for the Scriptures to fully unpack this beautiful truth, but in doing so we can read backward and see from that very moment God is and always has been an endless cycle and circle of love. The perfect picture of three persons yet oneness—the Father, the Son, and the very Spirit of God—eternally surrendering and submitting and exalting one another. So when God says let Us make man in Our image in Genesis 1, that means humans are actually born out of the overflow of God’s very own image. We are born out of that. And whatever we are created out of, also is what we were created for.  

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional

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1st Marriage ZZ

Sweetening Your Sex Life – Day 3

‘Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ‘ Philippians 4:6(NLT)

We want to encourage you to spend time with God asking Him to uncover areas in your sexual life which could use improvement. As He reveals these to you, write them down so you can pray about them ongoingly. 

It could be as simple as asking God to increase the level of attraction you feel for your spouse, or your spouse feels for you. Or it might be far more personal. Whatever it is you want God to work within, be sure to take it to Him in prayer (Philippians 4:6).. 

The marital sex life isn’t something that Christians are often instructed to pray about; however, it is something deserving of prayer. There is nothing off-limits with God when it comes to your prayer life. Share with Him how you feel, what you’d like to experience and areas where you’d like Him to transform things. Then watch how He works in your life and in your spouse’s life to bring about good.  

Prayer for Blessing & Freedom in Sexual Intimacy

“Gracious Lord, thank You for giving us the opportunity to pray to you about our sex life. No one knows each of us better than You do. You know what we desire and how to achieve the fulfilling satisfaction of that desire. Teach us how to satisfy each other in ways that bring pleasure to us as well. 

Bless our sexual activity with creativity, fun, and an abiding connection. Keep spontaneity in our hearts and minds. And help us to remember the romance, soft touches, and gentle words that precede sex throughout our casual times together, or even when things get busy. 

I pray that our marital sex life will be so enjoyable that we will both look forward to it equally and with mutual enthusiasm. Heal any past or present wounds that may inhibit our full expression of sexual love. We thank You for this, and so much more. In Christ’s name, amen.”

from Sweetening Your Sex Life