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1st Marriage Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Improving Sexual Intimacy: Both

‘One day Naomi said to Ruth, “My daughter, it’s time that I found a permanent home for you, so that you will be provided for. Boaz is a close relative of ours, and he’s been very kind by letting you gather grain with his young women. Tonight he will be winnowing barley at the threshing floor. Now do as I tell you—take a bath and put on perfume and dress in your nicest clothes. Then go to the threshing floor, but don’t let Boaz see you until he has finished eating and drinking. Be sure to notice where he lies down; then go and uncover his feet and lie down there. He will tell you what to do.” “I will do everything you say,” Ruth replied. So she went down to the threshing floor that night and followed the instructions of her mother-in-law. After Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he lay down at the far end of the pile of grain and went to sleep. Then Ruth came quietly, uncovered his feet, and lay down. Around midnight Boaz suddenly woke up and turned over. He was surprised to find a woman lying at his feet! “Who are you?” he asked. “I am your servant Ruth,” she replied. “Spread the corner of your covering over me, for you are my family redeemer.” “The Lord bless you, my daughter!” Boaz exclaimed. “You are showing even more family loyalty now than you did before, for you have not gone after a younger man, whether rich or poor. Now don’t worry about a thing, my daughter. I will do what is necessary, for everyone in town knows you are a virtuous woman. But while it’s true that I am one of your family redeemers, there is another man who is more closely related to you than I am. Stay here tonight, and in the morning I will talk to him. If he is willing to redeem you, very well. Let him marry you. But if he is not willing, then as surely as the Lord lives, I will redeem you myself! Now lie down here until morning.” So Ruth lay at Boaz’s feet until the morning, but she got up before it was light enough for people to recognize each other. For Boaz had said, “No one must know that a woman was here at the threshing floor.” Then Boaz said to her, “Bring your cloak and spread it out.” He measured six scoops of barley into the cloak and placed it on her back. Then he returned to the town. When Ruth went back to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, “What happened, my daughter?” Ruth told Naomi everything Boaz had done for her, and she added, “He gave me these six scoops of barley and said, ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.’” Then Naomi said to her, “Just be patient, my daughter, until we hear what happens. The man won’t rest until he has settled things today.”’ Ruth 3:1-18(NLT)

‘My lover has gone down to his garden, to his spice beds, to browse in the gardens and gather the lilies. I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine. He browses among the lilies.
Young Man
You are beautiful, my darling, like the lovely city of Tirzah. Yes, as beautiful as Jerusalem, as majestic as an army with billowing banners. Turn your eyes away, for they overpower me. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead. Your teeth are as white as sheep that are freshly washed. Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin. Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates behind your veil. Even among sixty queens and eighty concubines and countless young women, I would still choose my dove, my perfect one— the favorite of her mother, dearly loved by the one who bore her. The young women see her and praise her; even queens and royal concubines sing her praises:’ Song of Songs 6:2-9(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Improving sexual intimacy in marriage is a joint effort. While there are certain things husbands and wives are responsible for doing on their own, both should also work to improve intimacy together. Here are some ideas of things you both can do.

First, it is important for both of you to take the initiative sexually. In most marriages, the husband is the primary initiator, for many of the reasons mentioned earlier. But it is really good for the wife to do this some of the time. It gives her the opportunity to add her own creativity to the sexual relationship. Taking the initiative also helps a wife meet her husband’s need to know that she desires the sexual relationship with him.

Second, take time to enjoy the sexual experience. It is easy to get into ruts. Keep it from being routine. Make an effort to set aside more time to enjoy the sexual experience.

Third, pay attention to the atmosphere where you make love. Take time for candles, baths together, music, soft lights, fireplaces, and massages.

Finally, express your desire to each other. Say, “I love you” and “I am crazy about you.” Talk about what you are thinking and feeling. It adds to the excitement and helps you know more about what your spouse is experiencing.

Bottom line: Set aside time to talk and plan what each of you want in this area of your marriage.

Today’s Challenge:

Make a committment to express your desire for each other in three different ways.

Going Deeper:

1. How often do you take initiative when it comes to sex?

2. Wives, what do you need to do to make sure that your husband isn’t the only one initiating sex?

3. When was the last time you were intimate with your spouse and the environment was romantic?

4. Will you make a commitment to setting aside time to talk about your sexual intimacy with your spouse this week?

Resource: 

Use mundane moments for Godly purpose in your marriage with our House Prayer Cards.

Prayer is the single BEST thing you can for your marriage. God is the one who can ultimately change your hearts and your marriage for the better, so inviting him in to do those things is the single best thing you can do for your marriage.

from Improving Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Kim Kimberling

Categories
1st Marriage Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Improving Sexual Intimacy: Wives

‘Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, ‘ 1 Corinthians 6:19(NLT)

‘For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. ‘ Galatians 5:13(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Ladies, now it’s your turn. What are specific things you can do to improve your sexual intimacy in marriage?

First, understand your husband’s sexual needs. You husband is wired differently than you. He thinks about sex more than you do. He thinks about you sexually—a lot. Remember that sex arms him in your marriage. Talk with him about what you like and do not like in the sexual relationship, and be patient with him. Look at is this way: What if he were not attracted to you? Would you prefer that?

Second, find out what he really enjoys. It’s perfectly okay to ask him this question. You can always decline if it is something you are not comfortable with. Do not forget that our bodies were made for us to enjoy. Do not be afraid to try new things and to find a common ground that meets both of your needs.

Finally, make yourself “sexy.” That is easy. For most husbands, all a wife needs to do is keep breathing. But it might be helpful to find out what he likes as far as the clothes you wear and the perfume you use. It probably just boils down to doing what you did before marriage. If it worked then, it will most likely work now.

Bottom line: Make an effort. Let your husband know you care about sexual intimacy in marriage too.

Today’s Challenge:

Sit down with your husband this week and ask him about his sexual needs and desires.

Going Deeper:

1. Wives, how can you show your husband that you care about his sexual desires?

2. Wives, what can you do this week to find out what your husband thinks is attractive?

3. Wives, what do you need to do to show your husband you desire to look sexy for him?

4. Wives, how can you let your husband know you care about your sexual intimacy in marriage?

from Improving Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Kim Kimberling

Categories
1st Marriage Devotion for Men Devotion for Women ZZ

Improving Sexual Intimacy: Husbands

‘Your children will commit themselves to you, O Jerusalem, just as a young man commits himself to his bride. Then God will rejoice over you as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride.’ Isaiah 62:5(NLT)

‘Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”’ Luke 6:38(NLT)

Devotional Content:

Husbands, what can you do to improve sexual intimacy in your marriage? Here are some practical steps that will make a difference.

First, be romantic. That comes easier for some of us than others. My dad was a romantic, so I had a good model. I knew it was important. I just had to figure out what Nancy thought was romantic. I really think the first step is talking to your wife about this. Ask her what she likes. Ask her what she thinks is romantic. Her definition and yours may differ, but you need to do things that she likes. So be a student of your wife. Remember the things she likes. Remember what works and what does not work. You can do this. You can be romantic.

Second, take time with foreplay. We live in this instant-gratification society, and that can often spill over to the sexual relationship. Foreplay is what gives us time to prepare for the act of intercourse. It piques our senses, and it takes time. Over the course of your marriage, sex will happen in a number of different ways, at different times, and slowly and quickly. Take the time to enjoy each other with foreplay.

Finally, make yourself “sexy.” The best idea here is to get input from your wife, but there are some basics: bathe, brush your teeth, shave, exercise, and wear cologne (let her pick it out). Our wives like us to look nice and smell good. It will make a difference in her attraction to you.

Bottom line: Make an effort. It will be worth it, and it will show your wife you really care about her.

Today’s Challenge:

Husbands, how can you be a great student of your wife this week?

Going Deeper:

1. Dr. Kim says that one step husbands can take towards better intimacy with their wives is to be romantic. Husbands, when was the last time you did something romantic for your wife?

2. Foreplay is another important step towards improving your sexual intimacy. Make a commitment to spend more time being intentional about foreplay.

3. Dr. Kim shares that another great step towards improving your sexual intimacy is making yourself sexy for your wife. Husbands, think of 3 things you can do to be intentional about your appearance for your wife.

4. How much time and energy are you willing to spend on improving your sexual intimacy with your spouse?

5. Make a point to sit down with your spouse this week and talk about what they think is romantic.

from Improving Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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1st Marriage ZZ

Not All About Me

‘So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:33(NLT)

I don’t think any of us would argue with the fact that we love ourselves. We plan what makes us happy. We buy our favorite foods. We head for the most comfortable chair and turn the television stations to our favorite shows. Loving ourselves is easy. We say that we love our spouses and other people, but if we don’t watch it, that all-about-me mindset will creep in and take over. 

What if we put as much effort into loving our spouses? True love gives up the comfortable chair—and the (gasp!) remote. True love picks the restaurant our spouse loves even though we don’t really like the food there. True love says, “You are the most important thing in the world to me—even more important than me.” And something special happens as a result of that. The love that’s given away returns to us in a bigger portion, and it’s wrapped in respect from a spouse who feels loved and valued. 

How does it make you feel when you do something special for your spouse? How long has it been since you’ve done that? 

Lord, help me to put my spouse’s interests before my own. I acknowledge that life isn’t all about me, and I want my spouse to see that reflected in my words and actions.

from A Little God Time For Couples

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1st Marriage ZZ

Honoring Parents

‘“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.’ Exodus 20:12(NLT)

God set up marriage as an institution where a man and a woman would leave their parents and start their own families. That doesn’t mean that God wants us to forget about our parents—and he promises there are big benefits in honoring them. A smart couple will avail themselves of the wisdom their parents have accumulated over the years. They’ll ask for and listen to sage advice that will keep them from making mistakes they don’t have to make. 

A wise couple will set aside time to go see their parents, to call them, or to lend a helping hand whenever needed. As the years go by and their parents begin to need assistance, husbands and wives should honor the lifetime of love and care their parents gave them by returning the favor. God says that if we’ll honor our parents, we’ll live long in the land. Let’s determine that we’ll look back with sweet memories instead of regrets. 

How can you honor your mother and father? Do you carve time out of your schedule to be with them? 

Lord, give us hearts of compassion for our parents. Help us to honor them.

from A Little God Time For Couples

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1st Marriage ZZ

Learn From The Experienced

‘“Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged. Fear your God. I am the Lord .’ Leviticus 19:32(NLT)

One of the greatest blessings about extended family is the opportunity to learn from those who have more experience than you. Many young couples are fortunate enough to have parents or grandparents who have been married fifty years or longer. Being in the presence of those enduring marriages gives others a chance to learn the secrets of making marriage last. Looking at couples who have been married a long time, you can see the love on their faces accompanied by the lines and wrinkles of experience. 

As you build your marriage, draw from the tried and true wisdom of others. Copy the good things you see. Visit with those you respect and make note of their wisdom. God will bless your marriage and strengthen it when you do. 

Are there those in your family who have been married a long time? Take them out to dinner and soak up their wisdom. 

Lord, thank You that we can learn from others who have gone before us.

from A Little God Time For Couples

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1st Marriage ZZ

Overflow Of Kindness

‘Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. Fear God, and respect the king.’ 1 Peter 2:17(NLT)

Nancy watched Gary pull off the road. She knew he spotted the car ahead. An elderly lady was in the driver’s seat. She was crying. “Ma’am,” said Gary, “do you need help?” She looked at him and nodded. She was too upset to speak. Nancy looked at her husband of five years. She loved his tender side so much. He was always looking out for others. If he saw someone in need, he was the first to stop and offer help. 

Nancy felt blessed to have a man who loved and respected others. That part of his character transferred to their marriage. He was such a gentleman and respected her in every way. She had friends who weren’t as lucky. Every time she saw those friends with their husbands she said an extra prayer of thanks for Gary. His relationship with God was what drew her to him. Because his relationship with God was strong, God’s love flowed through him in everything. 

Can your spouse say that your relationship with God overflows in all you do? 

Lord, thank You that your love is the greatest love. Show us how to let your love flow through us.

from A Little God Time For Couples

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1st Marriage ZZ

Just For Me

‘“You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased.”’ Revelation 4:11(NLT)

When you wake up and look at your spouse do you see bed head or smell morning breath and think, What have I done? Or do you thank God for making your spouse just for you. God created each individual, and even though we are different and flawed, the greatest thing about our mates is they are uniquely ours by God’s design. 

Respecting God’s creation for you is essential. You may have a few choice things to say about bed head, fingernail-biting, snoring, stinky feet, and more, but because you love and respect your spouse, you never say those things outside of the home. In public, you should respect and praise your mate openly. When you do, you are honoring God as well. Keep the jokes and jibes about flaws between the two of you. 

When was the last time you told your spouse you loved him or her despite any flaws or shortcomings? 

Lord, teach us to love each other as you love us. Help us to cover each other’s flaws by keeping them to ourselves.

from A Little God Time For Couples

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1st Marriage ZZ

Being Quiet

‘Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent. Interlude’ Psalms 4:4(NLT)

It’s easy to get mad at our spouses. They hurt us and make us more mad than anyone else—because they’re the closest to our hearts. It’s a gift of love when we bite back the angry words and stay quiet instead. And it’s an even bigger gift when we take the time to look inside the hearts of our spouses and think about ways we can love them more. 

We come to marriage with suitcases packed with all the baggage of our pasts. Scars of our past carry into our marriage and affect us in many ways. A wise husband or wife will ponder those things, looking for ways to help heal old hurts and gaining a better understanding of why their spouses react as they do. 

What scars did you bring to your marriage? Have you discussed them with your spouse? 

Lord, help us to be kind and loving. Keep anger from our relationship, and help us work to understand each other better.

from A Little God Time For Couples

Categories
1st Marriage ZZ

True Wealth

‘Be still in the presence of the Lord , and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.’ Psalms 37:7(NLT)

Have you and your spouse ever been in a situation where it seems like everyone else is prospering more than you? You’ve watched your friends wear their stilettos or power suits as they climbed the corporate ladder. You’ve seen photos from their exotic trips. And you’ve visited their gorgeous homes complete with fancy cars and gleaming boats in the garage. Meanwhile at your house, you’re stretching the budget by eating beans and rice. Your cheap car is falling apart, and your home needs repairs. 

Sometimes it’s hard not to be envious. It’s often difficult to understand when you’re trying to serve God and your friends aren’t. That’s when we’re wise to be still before God and to share our hearts with him. When we stop to think about it, we realize that we’re the ones who are truly blessed. Our homes might be humble, but they’re happy. Our trips might not be expensive, but they’re filled with laughter and love. Our riches aren’t in our possessions—they’re in each other. 

What makes you truly wealthy? When’s the last time you thought about how rich you are to have each other? 

Lord, help us to realize our true wealth lies in each other. Thank You for blessing us.

from A Little God Time For Couples