Category: 1st Marriage

Categories
1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Day 4: Spiritual Intimacy

‘I have tried hard to find you— don’t let me wander from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. I praise you, O Lord ; teach me your decrees.’ Psalms 119:10-12(NLT)

‘“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. ‘ John 15:9(NLT)

‘And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. ‘ 1 John 4:13(NLT)

‘We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. ‘ 1 John 4:16(NLT)

In developing your spiritual intimacy with God, create a “sit place” with God. This “sit place” is a visual or actual place where you sit with God and dialogue with Him about all that matters to you throughout the day. Your prayer life is your dialog with Him. He desires to hear your voice and wants you to hear His voice. Your personal intimacy with God will overflow into your shared intimacy with your partner.

Whether you are just beginning your US journey, or have been enjoying your relationship for many seasons, it is important to create your US intimacy with God first. To desire a strong, loving relationship, it is important that everything concerning your marriage flow from this spiritual center. 

Sharing spiritually deepens your connection with your partner. As you share with him or her about what God is showing you in your struggles and joys and then listen to his or her heart as to what God is doing in him or her, it will deepen and strengthen you both spiritually. 

Reflection: Your commitment to developing a personal relationship with God is your greatest investment in your marriage. Sharing spiritually through conversations and your shared vision and mission as well as praying together will create a beautiful love story. Consider in what ways can you be more effective in your prayers, conversations, and or service to others. Take all of the grace and help of Jesus to make strong your US spiritual intimacy.

from Daily Habits Of Marital Intimacy

Categories
1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Day 3: Marital Structure

‘Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.’ 1 John 4:11-12(NLT)

‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ‘ Ephesians 5:21-25(NLT)

‘So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:33(NLT)

‘This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. ‘ John 15:12(NLT)

‘Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.’ Ephesians 5:1-2(NLT)

‘But because Jesus lives forever, his priesthood lasts forever. Therefore he is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf.’ Hebrews 7:24-25(NLT)

‘May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.’ 2 Thessalonians 3:5(NLT)

Christ is the model for both of you as husband and wife. Look to Christ as to how to love one another in your God-given roles. Only from a deep, personal relationship with God can you love one another deeply from the heart.

Husbands, God has called you to love your wife with Christ’s love, leading the way to nourish and cherish her heart in protective love. Here are five ways to initiate protective love (5 P’s) to help you identify more easily what it means to love your wife as Christ loves her, choosing to express the gospel to her as Christ is the gospel to you: Pursue (to know her as a person as well as romantically), Protect (to come alongside and care for her emotionally), Priest (to pray for her), Persevere (to fight for her and your marriage), and Provide (to be responsible in financial matters in a way that cares for her heart).

Wives, here are five Respectful Responses in your love for your husband: respect (his person), affirm (his strengths and gifts), inspire (his dreams and desires), invite (him sexually), and nurture (him emotionally).

Reflection: You each have a unique role in God’s kingdom—honor and bless what God is doing in each of you, as you love one another as husband and wife. God knows that in this beautiful loving relationship of marriage, you are more able to fulfill your role in God’s kingdom. Consider what areas you need to allow God access to in order to help you love as Christ loves your partner. God’s all-sufficient grace will meet you in your greatest need.

from Daily Habits Of Marital Intimacy

Categories
1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Day 2: Marital Core Beliefs

‘May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.’ 2 Thessalonians 3:5(NLT)

‘Through Christ you have come to trust in God. And you have placed your faith and hope in God because he raised Christ from the dead and gave him great glory. You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.’ 1 Peter 1:21-22(NLT)

‘Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.’ Philippians 2:3-4(NLT)

‘Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ‘ Colossians 3:12-14(NLT)

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NLT)

It is important to build your marriage with strong core values that will anchor you deep upon the rock-solid truths of God. We know the importance of a strong foundation when building or purchasing a home. We go to great lengths to ensure that there are no hidden cracks in the foundation. Luke reflects this truth in Luke 6:48 when he writes about the man of faith: “He is like a man which built a house, and dug deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock” (KJV). The same is true when choosing marriage. A strong foundation for your marriage is needed for all the storms that will invade and attempt to kill, steal, destroy, or divide it.

Your core beliefs are the foundation of your marriage and define what you will do in any situation you encounter. Consider these six core values and what you believe about each of them: covenant to God, commitment to partner, companionship, communication, connection (emotional), and compromise.

Reflection: Work together to create your marital core beliefs that will ensure a strong foundation to build your marriage, in preparation for any storm that may blow in. Consider what changes are needed to keep your marital foundation strong and secure. 

Challenge yourselves to address anything that causes shifts in your marital core foundation. Grace to you both as you travel well on your marriage path of US!

from Daily Habits Of Marital Intimacy

Categories
1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Day 1: Who Am I Becoming

‘Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. ‘ Colossians 3:10(NLT)

‘And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.’ Philippians 1:6(NLT)

‘But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me—and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace. ‘ 1 Corinthians 15:10(NLT)

‘And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”’ James 4:6(NLT)

‘Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. ‘ Romans 5:1(NLT)

‘We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.’ Romans 5:3-5(NLT)

The Word of God tells us that when God created you, He designed you in His image. It is this Christlikeness that He is committed to developing in you. He has also created you with strengths, dreams, and gifts to fulfill your role in the kingdom. God is fully aware, too, of your humanity, your woundedness, and the darkness that assaults your life on the Earth. He understands that when you join with your partner in marriage, you will both, more than likely, bring with you your share of losses, lies, hurts, and unrealistic expectations. God is prepared and readied to restore you and your partner, but it always starts with you.

Let me introduce you to Becoming. In Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, become is defined as “to grow or come to be.” What I want to convey to you is the value of knowing yourself as God knows you: as you are constantly growing, learning, maturing; becoming more of who you were originally designed to be and what you were destined to do. There is no end to becoming if you will embrace your life as God shows it to you. As you give attention, every day, to your relationships, experiences, beliefs, and responses, inviting Jesus into them, it will help you to keep growing stronger, wiser, healthier, and more fully you.

Reflection: I trust as you journey together you will keep learning to know yourself and your partner as to what is uniquely true and wonderful about each other. May the love of Christ always be your center, to love well with the mindset of “what would love have me do?” In what ways can I be more affirming? What is God doing in my life to help me love and know my partner more deeply from the heart? May God’s grace keep you growing in knowing yourself and your partner in a deeper and more personal way. Remember, two healthy I’s create a healthy US in your marriage.

from Daily Habits Of Marital Intimacy

Categories
1st Marriage ZZ

Surrender Together.

‘Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land. ‘ 2 Chronicles 7:14(NLT)

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles‬ ‭7:14‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Choose to surrender together. Choose to humble yourselves and pray. Let God soften your heart. Let bitterness go. Let rejection go. Let the guilt, shame, and defeat of the past go. Choose to seek Him together. Choose to turn together. Turn from your old way of doing things and surrender to God together. Let God completely heal your heart and marriage. 

Couple’s Prayer:

Father God, in the name of Jesus, we thank You for our marriage. Father, we thank You for leading and guiding our heart and home. 

Lord, we turn to You. Father, our house completely turns to You. Lord, forgive us. Father, we forgive each other. Lord, we turn from anything that’s not like You and we surrender to You. 

Lord, lead our home. Father, guide our thoughts. Father, guide our language. Lord, heal our marriage. Father, heal our home. Lord, shape us into Your image. Father, shape our character after Your heart. Lord, lead every aspect of our marriage. We surrender to You. 

In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

from Building a Strong Marriage

Categories
1st Marriage ZZ

Order Our Steps.

‘Guide my steps by your word, so I will not be overcome by evil.’ Psalms 119:133(NLT)

‘When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.’ Psalms 27:2(NLT)

‘But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord ; their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord , have spoken!’ Isaiah 54:17(NLT)

“Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.” Psalms‬ ‭119:133‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Let God’s word order the steps of your heart. Let His word saturate your heart and the course of your marriage. Let His word lead your language and direct your footsteps. Let His wisdom, counsel, and instruction guard the borders of your heart and home. 

Let His word keep and preserve your ways. Let His word wash you. Let His word shine upon your path. Psalms‬ ‭27:2‬ ‭KJV‬‬ declares, ”When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.” When you are in Christ, and the enemy tries to come to eat up your marriage — he will stumble and fall. When you surrender your family and marriage over to Christ — the enemy must back down. When your family is covered and protected by the blood of Jesus Christ the enemy must flee. 

Isaiah‬ ‭54:17‬ ‭KJV‬‬ declares, ”No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.” There is no weapon that the enemy can deploy that will prosper. There’s no firey dart of the enemy that can shipwreck your marriage. When you surrender to Christ — the enemy’s plans, weapons and tactics cannot derail your family. Choose to repent and turn to Christ. 

from Building a Strong Marriage

Categories
1st Marriage ZZ

Communication.

‘Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.’ Ephesians 4:29(NLT)

‘My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying. Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.’ Proverbs 3:1-4(NLT)

‘Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.’ Proverbs 15:22(NLT)

‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.’ Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT)

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians‬ ‭4:29‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Let Christ lead your communication. Let Grace fill your lips. Let your words strengthen your marriage. Let your words minister to your marriage. Choose to sow peace in times of chaos. Choose to sow grace in times of the storm. Ephesians‬ ‭4:29‬ ‭KJV‬‬ teaches us to minister grace towards our spouse and those around us in every season of life. Choose to handle your spouse with care — Godly care. 

Proverbs‬ ‭3:1-4‬ ‭KJV‬‬ declares, “My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee. Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.” Bind wisdom around your neck. Keep mercy and truth close to your heart.

Proverbs‬ ‭15:22‬ ‭KJV‬‬ declares, “Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.” Surround yourself with Godly counselors. Let your marriage be seasoned by mature counselors. Surrender to the counsel of wise and mature counselors who have gone before you.

Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭KJV‬‬ declares, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Trust in Christ. Trust in His ways and He will direct your path. 

from Building a Strong Marriage

Categories
1st Marriage ZZ

Seasons Change.

‘For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.’ Ecclesiastes 3:1(NLT)

‘The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.’ Joel 2:25(NLT)

‘“I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me.’ Proverbs 8:17(NLT)

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

To everything there is a season. There’s a season for everything. God has established times and seasons. Time is in His hands. Every season is in His Hands. He controls time itself. In fact, times and seasons are shaped and activated by His voice. The times and seasons of your family are in His hands. Your marriage is in His hands.

Joel‬ ‭2:25‬ ‭KJV‬‬ declares, “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.” He is the author of time itself. Let God restore the years that the enemy has stolen. Let God restore the years that the locust hath eaten. Let Christ heal every aspect of your marriage. Let Christ become your shelter and shield from the storm. 

As the seasons of life change — choose to seek Christ together. Choose to seek Him. Seek God early. Seek Christ’s way of doing things. Proverbs‬ ‭8:17‬ ‭KJV‬‬ declares, “I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.” Seek His wisdom. Seek His counsel. Seek His instruction in every season of life. Don’t let your heart be troubled. Choose to trust Him through the storm. 

from Building a Strong Marriage

Categories
1st Marriage ZZ

A Strong Foundation

‘The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe.’ Proverbs 18:10(NLT)

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.” Proverbs‬ ‭18:10‬ ‭KJV‬‬

The name of the Lord is a strong tower. According to Strong’s Concordance, the Hebrew word for “name” is ‘shem’ (H8034) which means, “Reputation, fame, or glory.” Build your marriage on the name, reputation, and glory of Jesus Christ. When you choose to build your marriage upon the principles and precepts of His Word you will find shelter and safety in the time of the storm. He is consistent. He is reliable. 

Let His reputation coat and cover every aspect of your life and marriage. Let His character lead and guide every aspect of your family and marriage. Let His way shield you from the storm. When the waves and winds of life try to sink your ship — choose to turn to Christ. 

Choose to turn to Him in the middle of a crisis. Choose to turn to Him in the middle of calamity. Turn to Him in every season of your marriage. Choose to turn to Him in every season of your life. His name is Strong. His reputation is credible. His way is reliable. Run to Him — He is the Strong Tower.

According to Strong’s Concordance, the Hebrew word for “tower” is ‘migdal’ (H4026) which means “elevated stage.” Let Christ become the elevated stage of your marriage. Let His name and reputation become your elevated platform and your secure foundation. 

When waves rise and the storms crash against your home — let His name become your family’s secure foundation. Run to Him — there is safety in Christ. No matter what you’re facing — God is greater than the problems that come your way. Choose to turn to Him. 

from Building a Strong Marriage

Categories
1st Marriage ZZ

Home vs House

‘Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay.’ 1 Peter 4:8-9(NLT)

Be sure to create a home. In a house, people can stay together without sharing life. A home is where people live together, sharing and serving each other and making room for others.  

Our worth, in the current culture, is often found in climbing the ladder of personal success. Or it could be found in other activities that, in themselves, are not wrong but have the potential to separate us from our spouse and godly relationships with those around us.

This could result in a husband and wife not talking to one another and hardly seeing or noticing their children. Decide, as a couple, what godly values you want to build from for your relationship. Family identity has to do with who you are and what you stand for. Talk about it, communicate it and live it!  

Make 1 Peter 4:8-9 your family mission.

Make room for your spouse, in your heart, and in your schedule! Serve each other; honor and care for each other. You have such a great opportunity to demonstrate God’s love to each other. When your spouse feels honored and cared for, they receive others so much easier into their hearts. Duplicate to others the Godly fervour you have for each other.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Mac and Naudine are married and serve their local church and a wider network of churches with various family ministries. They love to serve the people of God, with regard to restoring wholeness to families, parents, and marriages. They lead and oversee Evergreen Parenting, an organization that equips mothers and fathers with skills to enjoy a Christ-centred home. 

from Safety Gates for Marriage