Category: 1st Marriage

‘Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ‘ Colossians 3:10-12(NLT)

This scripture contains very active commands: It calls us to “put on love,” and to “clothe” ourselves in the character of Christ. For all who have trusted Christ for salvation, He gives His spirit, who works inside of us to make us more like Christ. The character qualities listed in this passage are all things God desires to grow in us, but in order to see that growth, we also must desire this! Ask God to align your heart with His and to grow you to be more like Him today. 

Prayer

God, your character is holy and blameless; full of mercy and love. Today, will you make me more like you, and fill me with the fruits of your Spirit? I pray you will help me to be humble enough to ask for your help. Help me to see how to “put on the new nature,” and be tenderhearted, merciful, kind, humble, gentle and patient in my marriage. Amen. 

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage

‘Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. ‘ Hebrews 12:15(NLT)

‘Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ‘ Colossians 3:13(NLT)

‘“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!#18:22 Or seventy-seven times.’ Matthew 18:22(NLT)

Forgiveness is essential in marriage. Not once or twice, but as Jesus said, “seventy times seven.” A thriving marriage is not possible without forgiveness! Today, consider whether you may be carrying any unforgiveness toward your spouse. Remember that in Christ, God has fully forgiven you. Ask Him to help you understand His forgiveness for you anew today. Ask God to search your heart for anything you have been holding on to. Then take five minutes to sit quietly and sift through what goes through your mind. If there is anything that needs to be attended to, ask God to help you forgive as He has forgiven you. 

Prayer

God, you are the ultimate forgiver. I praise you for your sacrificial love, which enables me to also forgive others! I ask today that you will continue to search my heart and show me any hint of bitterness hidden there. Help me to forgive completely any past offenses I am holding on to, and live free from all bitterness. 

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage

‘Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. ‘ Hebrews 12:14-15(NLT)

Some conflicts in marriage must be resolved. Other things, however, are matters of opinion or preference. With these things, we can choose to take the conflict off the table, or decide together to set the issue aside until we pick a calm time to talk about it. Today’s verse admonishes us to “work at living in peace.” It is a helpful reminder that peaceful living isn’t effortless, but it is worth the work!  Is there anything creating unnecessary conflict in your marriage that you could put away? What is one area of conflict that you can set aside today, in order to find rest in your marriage? 

Prayer

Thank you, God, that your Spirit is at work in my heart. Thank you that you give your Spirit to everyone who believes in you. I pray today that you will grow me in the desire for peace. Show me any areas where I am creating unnecessary conflict or tension in my marriage. Help me to freely forgive and give grace. 

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage

‘Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.’ Mark 6:31(NLT)

‘It is like a mustard seed planted in the ground. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of all garden plants; it grows long branches, and birds can make nests in its shade.” Jesus used many similar stories and illustrations to teach the people as much as they could understand. In fact, in his public ministry he never taught without using parables; but afterward, when he was alone with his disciples, he explained everything to them.
Jesus Calms the Storm
As evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.” ‘ Mark 4:31-35(NLT)

Jesus did everything God had planned for him on earth. And he did it all without hurry, anxiety, or worry. We see through the Gospels that He always made time for people, and had compassion on them. Yet, He had the habit of resting — He even napped on a boat in the middle of a huge storm! He lived in the peace of knowing God is completely in control of everything. Jesus calls us to his restful way of living. We can follow by setting aside time for rest and refreshment, trusting that the world is safe in His hands. Today, set a timer for five minutes and sit in a state of restful quiet with no agenda.

Prayer: 

Jesus, thank you that you lived a perfect life, free from sin and shortcomings. Your compassionate example inspires me. Help me to quiet my mind, and adopt rest into my life. I pray you will show me how to live more like you lived, trusting God totally.  

Go deeper: Read Mark 4:31-35 for the account of Jesus napping through the storm. 

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage

‘And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.’ Colossians 3:15(NLT)

‘“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.’ Matthew 7:9-11(NLT)

Today, start by meditating on Colossians 3:15 again. Don’t just read over it; let the words sink into your heart and mind. This time we will focus on the last sentence – “always be thankful.” Gratitude can change our whole outlook on life. Begin to think of things you are grateful for, and thank God for each one. Our second scripture, from Matthew 7, reminds us that God is a kind father to His children, who loves to give us good gifts. Think about the idea that your spouse is a gift from God to you, and thank Him for that gift. Pay attention to how gratitude impacts your thoughts toward them. 

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for providing me with a spouse. Help me to see them as a gift from your hands. Help me to view them as your beloved child. Thank you, God, that you are a kind father, who gives good gifts. 

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage

‘And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.’ Colossians 3:15(NLT)

This verse contains an active command: “Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts.” This requires your purposeful cooperation and acknowledging that He is in control and you are not. Today, seek to engage fully in the present moment. There is peace that comes with being fully present, free from any shame of the past or worry of the future. Do you trust that God is truly in control? For all who believe in Him, He promises a future far better than we can dream up — and this gives us a lot of confidence in the present! Take this moment to be still with God and listen to Him. What do you hear?

Prayer 

God, I thank you that you promise a future with you to all who trust in Christ Jesus for salvation. I pray that as I think upon that amazing truth, you will fill me with hope and peace. Lord, will you help me to think more highly of your promises? Amen.

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage

‘But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. ‘ Romans 5:8(NLT)

‘God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.’ 1 John 4:9-10(NLT)

God’s love is always reaching toward us. As Romans 5:8 tells, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” In marriage this brings a lot of hope! You can reach toward our spouse even if they’re not on the same page, just as God made the first move toward you. If you are feeling distant from your spouse, you can love before you feel loved in return. Remember how God reached for you before you loved him. What can you do to take a loving step toward your spouse? Whatever the answer is, do something to act on it today. 

Prayer 

Thank you, God, that you reached out to me when I was far from you! My heart was dead in sin, and You made a way for me to be alive in You! Lord, in remembering this, I am grateful and humbled that you loved me first. Help me to adopt the same mindset in my marriage, and to be willing to love my spouse even when I do not feel loved. 

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage

‘Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, ‘ Philippians 1:3-4(NLT)

This verse models gratitude to God in the context of relationship. How much time do you spend thanking God for your spouse?

What was the first thing you noticed about your spouse when you met? Take a moment to think back and remember the first time you saw each other. It may have been their laugh; their eyes; the way their presence impacted the room. When is the last time you told them how much you like that trait? Today, take the time to share that memory with your spouse. Write a note, send a text, or tell them face to face! 

Prayer

Lord, I can tend to take my spouse for granted. I pray you will remind me of the things that first drew us together, and that in remembering, we reconnect to one another. I pray that my heart will be softened to you, Lord, and as You work in my heart that I can grow closer to my spouse.

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage 

‘Your unfailing love, O Lord , is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.’ Psalms 36:5(NLT)

‘Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.’ Deuteronomy 8:18(NLT)

Today’s verses remind us that God’s faithfulness never changes. He is our source of life. As you spent time yesterday remembering the roots of your marriage, what stuck out to you? What were some of the best memories? Can you recall ways that you have seen God’s faithfulness through your marriage? Write down or talk together about any ways you have seen God provide, answer prayers, or sustain you, your marriage and your family. As you do this, think of the ways that God has been faithful to you through the time since then. God calls His people to remember what He has done. 

Prayer 

Thank you Lord, that you are always faithful and always good. I pray you will remind me of the ways you have provided for us. Lord, as I remember the early days of falling and love and marriage, I pray you will re-awaken the love I first felt for my spouse, and remind me of your continued faithfulness since then. 

Go deeper: Read Deuteronomy 8 to find context for remembering the Lord in times of need, and in times of plenty. 

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage

‘Your eternal word, O Lord , stands firm in heaven.’ Psalms 119:89(NLT)

‘For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. ‘ Hebrews 4:12(NLT)

For Christians, Scripture is the ideal starting point for every endeavor we undertake. This plan will have you read Scripture each day. The daily dose is small, but we believe God’s word is very powerful! Set aside a bit of time each day to ask God to work in your heart as you read it. 

God’s plan for the world, including the details of your personal life, relationships, and marriage, is unshakeable. As we begin this road to reconnection, look back to where it started for you. Take a moment to recall your marriage’s origin story. Where did it all begin? How did God bring you together? Remember that stage of life; your hopes and dreams, and the feelings that came along with meeting and falling in love with your spouse. Thank Him today for bringing you together, and for the life He’s given you together. 

Prayer:

God, I thank you that your “eternal word stands firm in heaven. Your faithfulness extends to every generation.” (Ps. 119:89). Thank you that your word is “alive and active,” (Heb. 4:12) and can shape my heart to be more like yours. Today, as I begin a path to rekindling the closeness in marriage, I pray that you will help me understand your ways. Help me to see the ways you have provided for and sustained my life, and to live in gratitude. Amen. 

from Reconnect: Refresh Your Marriage