Category: 1st Marriage

‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:24(NLT)

God has decreed that the most important human relationship in a marriage is our spouse. Men and women, we are to leave our father and mother and be joined to our spouse. It doesn’t mean that we love our parents or our children less, but the priority should always be with our spouse. In other words, the husband and the wife are called to be best friends. There should not be a person on this earth that we are closer to than our spouse. And if there is, our priorities have gotten out of whack and we need to confess our sin to God and ask Him to forgive us and help you reprioritize your life.

I speak often about the importance of a weekly date for a husband and wife. I call it the ‘falling in love all over again’ time. Anne and I still have our weekly date, after 40 years of marriage. Every time, it’s like we are bonded together once again. This continues to amaze me that after all these years I can look at her and say, “Anne, isn’t it amazing? We’ve spent all this time together, and there’s nobody we want to be with more than each other.” There is nothing like having your spouse as your best friend. It’s a real key to marriage as God designed it to be.

from Christian Marriage

‘“Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell.#10:28 Greek Gehenna. ‘ Matthew 10:28(NLT)

‘For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ‘ Ephesians 5:25(NLT)

There can be no higher, more difficult calling than husbands leading their marriages like Christ leads the church. It may sound easy on the surface, but let me remind you that Christ gave His life for the church. The husband is never to be a dictatorial or an authoritarian leader.

Husbands, we are called to lead like Jesus. That is, we are to be servant leaders. Guys, if we are to lead like Jesus, we have to be willing to lay down our own lives for our wives. Now that is a high calling. And there is not a man who can come close to doing that on his own, because we are so sinful. We are so selfish. We tend to be so domineering and bossy with our wives. The only way we can come close to living this out is to walk with Christ, to submit our own lives to Christ, so we can try to fulfill the role that he has given us.

In doing that there, there is another, higher purpose. You see, the reason the husband is called to lead his wife like Christ leads the church, is to help her grow to become all that God has created her to be. It is a servant leadership role. It’s not putting a woman into emotional shackles. It’s not the husband making all the decisions, wanting no input from his wife. It is the husband recognizing that as a servant leader, he wants to do all in his power to help her grow to be the woman God created her to be.

Wow – that is a demanding calling. Yet husbands who lead like Christ and love their wives like Christ love His bride, the church, surely makes it easier for their wives to follow their lead.

Husbands, are you willing to take that role in your marriage? Will you do whatever it takes to be worthy of the role God has ordained you to have?

from Christian Marriage

‘So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.’ Genesis 1:27(NLT)

‘For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.’ Ephesians 5:22-24(NLT)

I want you to understand a few things about this teaching. First of all, it doesn’t mean that the husband deserves for his wife to submit to his leadership. I do not deserve it. No husband deserves it. Secondly, it doesn’t mean that the husband is better than the wife. It doesn’t mean that at all! We are equal in Christ.

It’s important to note that the Bible does not teach for women to submit to men. This passage is telling the wife to submit to her husband, but it doesn’t teach for women to submit to men as a general rule. As a matter of fact, because we are all as Christians called to submit to earthly authorities, if you’re a man and your boss at work is a female, you’re called to submit to her authority at work. If you’re a man and you appear before a female judge in court, she is representing government authority, you’re called to submit to that female judge. There is nothing in Scripture that teaches that women are to submit to men in general.

But for some reason, in Christian marriage, God calls on the wife to submit to her husband. Now, I don’t know why God has chosen for the man to be the leader in Christian marriage, but I do know this. God has a symbol that He wants Christian marriage to share with the world. And that is that Christ the bridegroom is the head of the church and the bride of Christ, the church, is called to submit to His leadership. God has decided on these differing roles of a husband and wife to symbolize Christ’s relationship with His church. Does that mean that a woman is to be a doormat and let her husband dominate or abuse her? Absolutely not! It just means that God, in His sovereign wisdom, created these two equal, but separate roles in a Christian marriage.

from Christian Marriage

‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.’ Ephesians 5:21(NLT)

What is unique about Christian marriage? I realize when it comes to marriage, when it comes to happy marriage, when it comes to meaningful marriage—for all of history in all kind of cultures, all kind of religions—you can have very meaningful and happy Hindu marriages and Muslim marriages and Buddhist marriages and agnostic marriages and atheistic marriages. You can have all kinds of ideologies and cultures represented all through history and find meaningful marriage. But what is really unique about Christian marriage? What is it that sets it apart from other marriages? It begins with a radically counter-cultural teaching in Scripture – “Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.”

What is so radically difficult in the starting point of Christian marriage is this: Most of the time when you talk to an engaged couple, they’ll make a comment like, “He’s the man of my dreams. I know he is going to make me happy.” Or the young man says, “I know that she’s just what I’ve been looking for. I know that she is going to make me happy.” Do you see the inherent problem? The focus is all about “me.” But in a Christian marriage, it is just the opposite. God’s Word tells us to be subject to one another. (That’s actually a military term.) To be “subject to” means to come under the authority of the other. In other words, the husband and wife are to be mutually submissive to one another. How? It comes out of a mutual reverence for Christ. “Fear of Christ” means “reverence for Christ.” None of us can come close to living this out because we are such sinners. But Christ saves us from our sinfulness and gives us the ability to seek the best interest for our spouse before our own.

Yes, there are differing roles in Christian marriages for the husband and the wife (and we’ll get to that tomorrow), but the starting point of mutual submission is the reverence for Christ. And that is radically counter-cultural. Here’s what is really awesome – it makes true Christian marriages the marriages we all want to have!

from Christian Marriage

‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. ‘ Genesis 2:18-21(NLT)

Did you know that God was the first surgeon? After God created Adam, He gave him a beautiful place to live, plenty to eat, and tons of pets. Amazingly, they all lived in perfect harmony with each other and with him, as well. But God looked at Adam and decided it wasn’t good for man to be alone. So, being the first anesthesiologist, He put Adam into a deep sleep, and being the first surgeon, He removed a rib from Adam’s side and He created woman to be Adam’s partner, a helpmate. Do you see what the Lord was doing? Then He became the first father of the bride. He brought Eve to Adam! Thus, God was also the first matchmaker and He’s still the best one today.

Then our super creative God gave Adam and Eve the first opportunity to enjoy His gift and the invention of sex. God’s Word says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become ONE FLESH.” Wow. God is pretty amazing. One man. One woman. For life.

from Christian Marriage

‘So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. ‘ Genesis 2:21(NLT)

There were a lot of ‘firsts’ while God was creating the world and its inhabitants. Well, I suppose you could say everything He created was a first! But now, I’m talking about what happened as He created Adam and Eve.

When He put Adam into a deep sleep, God became the first anesthesiologist. Then, as He operated on Adam, He became the first surgeon. Now, we already know that God was the first artist – in fact, He is the master Artist – the master Designer. After all, He had created the heavens and the earth and everything on it and in between, including man. But He had never fashioned (built) a woman. So, there was another first. And because He had created Adam and Eve so that they were perfect for each other, we could say God was the first matchmaker. And to finish it off, He was the first Father of the bride, as He brought Eve to Adam.

How did Adam respond? He was thrilled! He said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.” He broke out into poetry! These were the first romantic words in all of history! Adam knew right away that she was exactly what was missing from his life. We see the sense of appreciation that Adam has as God brings Eve to him. Here we see the very first marriage. Here we see what God designed it to be – the ultimate human companionship between a man and a woman.

It’s a beautiful story of love at first sight. The only perfect marriage in the history of man. And then came sin and with it, the problems in marriage. It continues to this day; yet, in Christ, we are able to see Him strengthen in a way that transforms marriage for good. Not perfect, but closer to what Adam and Eve had before they blew it. If you are struggling in your marriage, why don’t you let Jesus transform you? Both of you!

from Christian Marriage