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Saving Marriage ZZ

Coming to the Throne

‘Open up, ancient gates! Open up, ancient doors, and let the King of glory enter. Who is the King of glory? The Lord , strong and mighty; the Lord , invincible in battle. Open up, ancient gates! Open up, ancient doors, and let the King of glory enter. Who is the King of glory? The Lord of Heaven’s Armies— he is the King of glory. Interlude’ Psalms 24:7-10(NLT)

Scripture Reference: 

Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lifted up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord of hosts, he is the King of glory. Psalm 24:7-10

So far, I’ve only talked about you, and I know, if you are anything like me, your mind keeps going back to your wife. I’m guessing the thoughts get confusing most times. Love, anger, despair, hope, loneliness, and why, why, why. You want to blame, you want her to just get over it, you want her to come back, you want to have just one discussion without having it break down, you want to go back to before. It sucks, doesn’t it! Why can’t you find the key?

I’ve heard it put many different ways. My pastor put it this way. A woman builds a wall one brick at a time. An offense from you, there’s a brick. You messed up again, another brick. You broke trust, maybe two bricks. Until there’s just one brick left. When that one goes up, he says he’s only seen a couple of marriages come back in his thirty plus years of ministry. I had another pastor tell me that the door to a woman’s heart closes very slowly, but once shut, it’s nearly impossible to open again. 

What’s going on with her is that the wall is up and the door is shut. Only God can intervene. That’s why I’ve spent these posts on you. Your chances with her are completely and entirely up to her ability to submit to God, allow Him to remove some bricks, and try again. And you cannot make her submit to God. Please don’t try – disaster almost always follows. 

What is left to you is to pray and become the man you are supposed to be. When she comes to mind, when you feel desperate, when you want to shout or cry, cry out to God. Shout to Him. Submit every nagging thought to God. Wow, did I trick you? I got right back to prayer, didn’t I? 

There is no power so great as prayer. Stop fighting it. Prayer is the only thing that breaks every one of the enemies’ attacks. I’m not talking about some scrubbed and bleached version of prayer. I’m talking about down and dirty wrestling with God. Belching out your heart pain and growling in agony before Him. If you don’t talk to God like you talk to your best friend, then you might need to change the way you speak to God. You need to honor Him as God of course, but you need to be yourself. 

Do you think God can’t take hearing who you really are? If you were to spill it, anger, grief, and all. Do you think He would turn away blushing? Ha – you don’t know the Lord of Hosts. He who commands the ferocity and power of angels. He who makes the demons tremble. He who speaks and universes leap into being. He who holds the innocent child in His lap. He has the might to hear and the tenderness to meet your need. Let it out and let Him heal. 

Uncommen Challenge: Get back to prayer. Resist the urge to do something besides prayer. Set aside many times during the day to cry out to God – one minute, ten minutes, longer – whatever it takes to get through the next crisis, the next temptation to do it your own way. Write down everything He tells you and start obeying – you will change. God will be making you into the great man He’s always wanted you to be. Keep your focus there – be great, be Christlike, humble, unmovable in grace, the Gibraltar of love for everyone around you. Be the man your wife wishes she had stuck around for, regardless what she decides ultimately to do. You will not regret becoming this man! 

from UNCOMMEN: Surviving Divorce

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Saving Marriage ZZ

Tap Out

‘But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.’ John 14:26(NLT)

Scripture Reference: 

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. John 14:26

We talked about submission in the last post and suggested three places to start. Here are two more. 

I submitted to good books. Most men I know hate to read. Especially books about relationships. The quickest way I know for a woman to kill a man’s spirit is to insist he read relationship books. I agree. Don’t read them now (maybe later). Read books that talk about good men and how they live life. Read books about men who have loved well. Men who are praised by their wives because their wives feel loved. Men who are praised by their children because their children feel loved. Those men – if you can find books like that. I have a few in my library – very few. 

I submitted to every inkling of the Holy Spirit. This is last but most important. You must strain to hear the silent, authoritative voice of the Spirit. He will give you everything you need. Once you hear, you must do, no hesitation. And let me warn you, the Spirit can ask you to do things that are the exact opposite of what you think is right. Do it anyway. As long as you are positive it’s the Spirit speaking. Here’s what I learned to say every morning when I woke, ‘Lord, here I am, I’m going to do whatever it is you tell me to do today, and I don’t care what anyone thinks about it.’ I found myself saying it over and over throughout the day, I still say it.

When I started submitting, I began to heal. My anger dissolved, my pride (shown mostly in my judgmental attitudes) lessened, my determination to be a good man grew, and my attention to people increased. My work got better, my walk with God became intimate in ways I never felt before, my kids became more precious to me, my whole life turned. Joy is a good word for it. 

I stumbled a lot. I failed even more. But I kept submitting. I kept tapping myself out and letting the Spirit win. I intend to continue. There are many other things I had to do to recover from the separation and divorce I didn’t want, but these were the first. Other steps included how not to blame anyone but myself (a big one for me), how to be a single dad, how to relate to those who had ‘perfect’ marriages, how to relate to women who were available, how to tell people what happened, how to face the Church, how to accept grace and forgiveness, how to accept restoration, how to not be in control, how to have fun, and many, many other things. 

I have found God to be more than faithful. My life is abundant and joyous now – yours will be too – you’ll see. 

from UNCOMMEN: Surviving Divorce

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Saving Marriage ZZ

Lead by Submission

‘So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.’ 1 Peter 5:6-7(NLT)

Scripture Reference: 

Submit yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you when the time is come. Cast all your care upon him, for he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

Prayer was changing me. What do you suppose was my next step to becoming a great man? (BTW: I’m not claiming I am great – just striving) One word: submission. 

You probably won’t find the word submission in a lot of leadership books. You won’t find it applied to men in a lot of marriage books (unless they are really good!). Most of your friends probably won’t think to give you this advice. It goes against everything our male counterparts tell us is manly. Wrestlers and MMA fighters submit losers. Submission sounds like “loser” to many. Not to God. 

Submission is a very simple concept. In sports, it means to be forcibly subdued or pinned to the point where you ‘tap out.’ In life relationship with God, it means to willfully put ourselves under Him and anyone else who will lead us to Him. It’s what I discovered I needed to do. I discovered it by asking the question, ‘How did Jesus express His manhood?’ The answer was that He submitted everything He was and did to the Father. I needed to copy Him. Here’s what it looked like, and still looks like, for me. I found five things I needed to submit to. 

I submitted to other men. I found godly men who would hold me accountable. Not ‘yes’ men who told me how sorry they were or how wonderful I was when I made a small step. I found brutally honest men who kicked me in the butt and showed me how nasty I was. ‘Yes, men’ are easy to find but provide nothing meaningful. Honorable men who have character enough to tell you straight are rare. Find them. 

I submitted to my children. My children where young adults and teenagers. I don’t mean I made them the head of the house. I mean I asked them to tell me when I was out of line, angry, rude, not likable, prideful, not like Jesus. They did, sometimes painfully, but I learned an amazing number of great lessons from them. 

I submitted to the Bible. I taught the Bible for nearly twenty-five years with my words but found out my life was far from what I said I believed. I was always reading to find what was ‘right’ – not what was ‘good.’ I traded logic for love. I looked for black and white and couldn’t see any grey. That all changed. I started looking for how Jesus treated people. How He stuck to His calling regardless how people treated Him. How He loved, how He lived, how He felt. I started hearing His heart. 

Submission like this takes humility and courage, and that comes through prayer. Keep praying as you add these layers of submission. There are two more we’ll cover next post. 

Uncommen Challenge: Which of these three things do you need to add first? Don’t have godly accountable men – find them – ask God to lead you to them. Don’t have grown children – find family members or others who can give you insight. Don’t know where to start in the Bible – who cares – just start. God will faithfully lead you. Maybe start with some of the stories of great men in the Old Testament – Moses is a good one. Just start this week – no more procrastinating!

from UNCOMMEN: Surviving Divorce

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Saving Marriage ZZ

Breaking Your Mold

‘Jesus looked at them and said, “Then what does this Scripture mean? ‘The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.’ Everyone who stumbles over that stone will be broken to pieces, and it will crush anyone it falls on.”’ Luke 20:17-18(NLT)

Scripture Reference: 

And he beheld them, and said, What is this then that is written, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner? Whosoever shall fall upon that stone shall be broken; but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder. Luke 20:17-18

Last post we talked about the first step to facing a truth you never dreamed would be. I wasn’t as good at taking my own advice as I would have liked. 

When my wake-up call came, I found myself ping-ponging between anger, desperation, grief, pride, numbness, and just about every other emotion and attitude that a man can have. I knew I loved her but had absolutely no way to prove it to her satisfaction. I knew I was committed to her, but that didn’t matter anymore. I was willing to do whatever it took to get her back, but it was too late. The deed was done, and there was just me, no more us. 

I wish I could say that I handled everything well from that point. It took about a year from the time she left until the divorce. In that year I think I did everything wrong, even though I was seeing a counselor and trying to follow his advice. I got angry at her, and even though she was over a thousand miles away, she felt it through texts and emails. I demanded she return. I begged (groveled actually). I cried and told her I’d change. I argued every logical reason. I offered to move out so she could be with the kids. I tried everything I could think of. No effect. 

I’m telling you this in case it describes what is happening in your world. If your actions mirror mine – you might want to take this as a warning to stop all that mess. None of it works, and it makes you less of a man. Once the divorce was final and too late for me to try anything that might work, I started learning what I needed to make the rest of my life count for God. If I couldn’t be a good husband to her, I’d be a great man, whatever that meant. Great in the sense that God would be pleased no matter if anyone else would. 

That’s when prayer started paying off. When I stopped doing all the things I could think of, I finally got around to the first step and fell on my face. Miraculous things started happening then. Not with my wife, not with my kids, not with my friends or church, but with me. God began changing me. Doing things I would never think to do to change. I wanted to be a great man for God, and He was listening. Breaking my mold, and pouring me into His. And causing more pain than I had ever felt. And it was good. 

Uncommen Challenge: Another list is appropriate here. Write down everything you’ve tried to get her back and the result. Realize that this is you trying to win – not you being broken. Take the list and burn it and stop doing those things. Instead, make it just you and God. Spend your time asking God what to do next and do it immediately once you’re sure it’s Gods step. 

from UNCOMMEN: Surviving Divorce

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Saving Marriage ZZ

Starting From Scratch

‘Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.’ Proverbs 20:22(NLT)

Scripture Reference: 

Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22

You thought things were fine. Your marriage was steady. Your kids are fine, your house is nice, you’ve provided for everyone’s needs (or so you thought), and you get along with your wife most of the time. Sure, there’s the blow up once in awhile, sex not as often as you’d like, some pet peeves lying around, but things are mostly good. Then she leaves or tells you to. 

What do you do? 

If you’ve found yourself suddenly on the receiving end of an unexpected announcement that your marriage is ending, then we have something in common. My ex-wife left without telling me our marriage was ending. I bought her a ticket to go for a visit to her parents. She never returned. I don’t know what stun grenades feel like, but I felt like an emotional stun grenade blew my emotions white. Empty.

I wasn’t completely blindsided to the fact that she was unhappy. We had been through counseling, and I thought we were working on the issues that we uncovered. But I’m pretty thick, so I didn’t see just how deep the issues and how complete her hurt. If I had seen it earlier, I might have been able to save my marriage. But there I was, alone in my bed, four kids dependent on me, no real answers, and no hope. 

I wish I could offer you the perfect three-step plan for getting your wife back, but as far as I know, it doesn’t exist. What I can offer you is the first step to dealing with it. Before we get to that, let me say something you might not expect. Get angry. Get angry with sin, with your own, with your wife’s, with sin in general and let it blow a little. Go to the gym and hit the bag, pump iron, run, scream, kick things (not the dog, or anything that will break your foot), or whatever it takes to let it out. With the exception of taking it out on any other person! Don’t do that!

When sin steals something precious, anger is appropriate. Some might tell you to hold it in. Maybe you can. But I think being angry about sin, without sinning (Eph. 4:26), is a great way to prepare for this first step. 

The first step. Get on your face before God in prayer. If you start anywhere else you’ll eventually end up here, so you might as well start here. I’m not suggesting you say some simple prayers and ask God to fix things. I’m suggesting you fall apart as a helpless and broken man and let God meet you there. Stay there till He arrives. Resist all the urges to try something else or try to get revenge. Do what our verse says, wait on God. Let Him come to start the healing. 

Uncommen Challenge: If you haven’t vented your anger, find a way to do it without hurting anyone including yourself. Make a list of the sins to be angry about and then take them one by one to God in prayer. Angry with Him? He already knows it so you might as well be real with it. Present them one by one and then wait – let God speak. Don’t move to the next one until you’ve heard from Him.

from UNCOMMEN: Surviving Divorce

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Uncommen World

‘“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.’ Matthew 5:13-16(NLT)

Matthew 5:13-16
“’13 You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.14 You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.'”

As we finish up this series on our words for the Uncommen man, we wanted to broaden the scope a bit. We are striving to be an Uncommen Husband, Dad, and Leader, but what have we been called to be to the world? God’s command is to be Salt and Light to the world as they may see your good deeds and they should glorify God. You are called to set the bar high and then take that into the world to have an influence in your job, community, country, and the world.

Being an example (salt & light) at your job is underrated as we have a need to fit into the business culture to stay employed or to advance. With over 35 years of working experience, I learned years ago that character is hard to teach. Your boss may say he/she is looking for a person with training or experience, but dependability and trust are just as important. Early in my career, I was at a review and my employer told me, “Do you know why I hired you all those years ago? I hire on character over experience any day.”

Being Uncommen in the community can range from being a good neighbor to serving at a local soup kitchen or something even larger. The point is, to be Uncommen, you have to be active in your community. In spite of all the happy selfies people post on social media, there are hurting people out there, and your city has tons of ways you can help. It’s a great family activity as well.

If there was ever a time when our country needed Uncommen Men to stand up and be an example, it is now. That statement is not political; it’s not an agenda; and it’s not meant to be an inspirational quote on Facebook. Our country needs us in a variety of ways, but just as this series is focused around WORDS, it needs us to be able to communicate with each other. Arguing is not communicating. I love the saying, “Better to be thought of a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt”.

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country, and dare I say it… the world!

Questions:

Are you Uncommen in your job, community, country, and the world? If not, why?
What was the last community service project you took part in?
Would you be willing to serve more if you did it with other people?

Challenge:

If you are watching our way of life crumble on TV and social media, you may be part of the problem. Change can’t happen from the sofa. It requires us to be willing to get outside our box and serve others. Only by serving others will our world see an example of what to be like and that example is Uncommen.

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders

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Uncommen Words of a Leader

‘No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. “Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”’ Joshua 1:5-9(NLT)

Numbers 14:5-9 – “5 Then Moses and Aaron fell facedown in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there. 6 Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes 7 and said to the entire Israelite assembly, ‘The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. 8 If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. 9 Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.’” 

In the midst of people second-guessing God, Joshua stood his ground and stated “…The Lord is with us. Do not be afraid…”

There are many things I love about Joshua; in fact, I named my first born Joshua. But the best part of this passage is that Joshua wasn’t just stating his opinion but rather testifying to what he had seen and what God said He was going to do for the people of Israel.

A leader isn’t just the loudest of the group, and he is not the biggest of the group. He is the person who God has positioned and prepared for the role of leadership. While it may not have been anticipated, it was a seamless change of leadership from Moses to Joshua because God had prepared Joshua ahead of time. Notice that Joshua stated his view and challenged the Israelite assembly. He didn’t insult them or intimidate them… he spoke the truth! God’s Truth!

What kind of leader are you? Are you the most forward in the group and the first to step up? Or do you only seek the role of leadership when no one else will? While leadership skills may be built into your DNA, those skills have to be honed to be a benefit for others. How many times do you hear Jesus yelling at people to get their attention in the Bible? People would gather around pushing and shoving just to get near him and listen to what he had to say.

Leadership comes in many forms, and you may find that your family is waiting for you to lead. Your career is waiting for you to lead. Do so with God leading you.

Questions:

Is God preparing you for a leadership role?
Are you seeking God’s instruction to grow as a leader?
What are you doing to put yourself in the right position when God calls you to lead?

Challenge: 

God did not call you to stay where you are. See God’s will for where He wants to lead you, and be willing to move when He says it’s time!

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders

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Uncommen Words of a Dad

‘Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ‘ James 1:19(NLT)

James 1:19 – “This you know, my beloved brethren. Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger…”
 
Pardon me while I brag on my two sons for a minute. I have two Godly, talented, rockstar sons (Joshua and Noah), and I say that with all the objectivity I can muster. Two young men who didn’t go through that adolescence phase or that teenage angst timeframe. But, rather, showed interest in me and my wife even to the degree of wanting to work at our design company. Both will go full-time when they graduate college.
 
They are respectful, loving, kind, and just flat-out the best thing I ever did. Praise God!!!
 
I truly believe that is the result of the boundaries we set to help them understand what it takes to be a well-rounded, Christ-focused person with a heart for others. There were times when I had to deliver unpopular rules or verbal discipline that would hurt me much more than them, but it was very seldom. The bottom line was: I had to be the dad and not the friend. But there is a way of speaking truth to your children without leaving scars. Verbal abuse has zero tolerance in my world, and it’s how my wife and I have parented our children from day one. I can speak to my sons with authority without abusing them with hurtful words that destroy the communication between us.
 
Your children are often reaching out to you for instruction and advice in many different ways. Be open to hearing from them and speaking with them with love and not out of anger.
 
There are so many ways my sons make me proud, but when they come to me and say, “Dad, can I get your advice on something?”, I know I’ve developed a platform of communication that my sons can always feel safe on.

If your past has a negative influence on the way you communicate with your children, then it’s time you took it to God to change that. There are books upon books out there on learning how to communicate more effectively, but just like all change, it has to start with you.
 
Questions:
 
Do you make time for your children other than just when you have to?
Would you consider yourself a parent or a friend? It’s hard to be both.
Do you spend time worshiping together?
Are you verbally abusive?
 
Challenge:

Sit down with your child over pizza, ice cream, or coffee, and listen twice as much as you talk. Give advice when they are open to hearing it, and let them know they can always come to you for support. Never, and I mean NEVER, say something that you will regret later. Words leave scars.

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders

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Uncommen Words of a Husband

‘Wise people treasure knowledge, but the babbling of a fool invites disaster.’ Proverbs 10:14(NLT)

Proverbs 10:14 – “Wise men store up knowledge, but with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand.”
 
Men, we are often our own worst enemy when it comes to communication. Whether you are newly married or a veteran like me (33+ years with my wife), you should have come to understand that the way you and your wife communicate will determine the happiness of your household. Happy wife / Happy life.
 
By nature, men are fixers. We want a small explanation of the problem while we are putting on our hero outfit and cape so we can spring into action and fix the problem. Women usually want to explain in detail what is going on, and they expect us to do something we rarely do well… listen.
 
Someone asked me: “What was the most surprising thing you’ve experienced in owning your own business?” Without hesitation, I said “People’s shocking inability to communicate effectively”.
 
But God doesn’t want that for our marriages. He wants clear, sound, truthful, kind, and open communication with each other. The number one thing I pray for during my quiet time is wisdom. Not that I’m channeling my inner King Solomon. But rather, I want to know the mind of God in every situation in my life. I want to store up knowledge and communicate effectively with my wife.

My wife and I do marriage studies frequently just to keep our marriage in tip-top shape and one of best ones we’ve done was “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It talks about the process of finding your love language and how you like to be communicated to. Once you and your wife have determined what your love languages are (there are usually two), you can then understand how to communicate to each other. If her love language is quality time and you keep giving gifts with no appreciation from her, it gets frustrating. It’s important to learn how someone communicates and then communicate that way toward them. It sounds very basic, but it’s one of the most overlooked things when it comes to communication.

As with anything, you will only get out what you put into a marriage, and communication is at the heart of everything.
 
Questions:
 
How do you and your wife communicate?
When was the last time you did a marriage study?
When was the last time you prayed for your wife?
 
Challenge:

Take the marriage Study – “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Learn what your wife’s love language is while she learns yo

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders

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Uncommen Words

‘Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ‘ James 3:9(NLT)

James 3:9 – “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.”
 
I’m sure you’ve heard of “The Ugly American” right? He’s the person who visits another country and acts all kinds of ignorant while representing America. People look at him/her and lump all of Americans to what he/she is doing.
 
I’m here to talk about “The Ugly Christian”. This is the person who has come to know Jesus as their savior but has now turned their attention to others. This is the person who is humble at church or maybe even in person but acts like a complete fool on social media toward everything and everyone they disagree with. They post one day about how much love they have toward the things God loves and then curse people the next ten posts.
 
This person is just what James is talking about when he says, “We praise our Lord and curse human beings, WHO HAVE BEEN MADE IN GOD’S LIKENESS”. The very people whom you and I curse are the very people God has made.
 
Not only are you killing your own testimony by acting this way, but I’m sure God is going to have a little talk with you at some point about this.
 
We are not all going to agree on everything, but we can agree that God has created all of us, and when you are cursing another person, you are cursing something that is wonderfully made by God. You can choose to use your tongue to raise up or tear people down. Many times we tear people down because we are trying to make ourselves feel better. It’s important to speak the truth, but it’s also important to speak it in a Godly manner that reflects the love and mercy of a God who loved you enough to die on a cross while we were all still sinners.

Watch your words; be true to God; and love people
 
Questions:
 
Do you praise and curse in the same breath?
Do you think you are ruining your testimony with the way you communicate with people?
What can you change to help you reflect God better?
 
Challenge:

Evaluate the way you speak in-person and online. Understand you are representing God, and while He wants you to speak the truth, if you can’t do it without coming across as a fool, He may want you to just stop talking.

from UNCOMMEN: Uncommen Words Of Husbands, Dads, & Leaders