‘Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. ‘ Romans 12:10(NLT)
‘Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.’ Ephesians 6:4(NLT)
‘The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.’ Psalms 103:13(NLT)
Many stepparents have asked us, “How do I get my step child to respect me?” Often adults label step children as disrespectful when they behave disobediently. Respect and obedience are not synonyms.
Obey (defined) means to comply with the command, direction, or request of
Respect (defined) means to hold in esteem or honor
So which comes first?
A disobedient child could be responding to feelings of disrespect.
We believe an adult who shows respect to a child first is potentially building an obedient heart in a child.
We lack respect when:
- we are harsh or demanding toward each other’s children.
- we do not value our step children’s feelings, desires, or opinions.
- we make little effort to bond with our spouse’s children. When we bond and love our spouse’s children, we love our spouse more completely.
- we argue in front of the children. When children see us argue, they will conclude that they do not need to show respect, listen to, or be a part of their step parent’s life.
Realize that respect is earned; it is a two-way street. If we want others (adults and children) to respect us, we need to give respect first. All people (adults and children) gravitate to the hearts who show them love, value, and acceptance.
Suggestions
Set a time for you and your spouse to have a heart-to-heart talk about what is undermining the unity you are trying to build. Share what you each feel is hindering your growth. Write them down and develop a strategy.
Ask your children and step children how they want to be loved and shown respect.
Occasionally ask if you have hurt your spouse, children, or step children, and if so give a sincere apology to them.
R-eserve a place in your heart
E-mbrace
S-erve
P-ersevere with grace
E-levate
C-are for
T-ouch their heart
Our Prayer for you:
Almighty God, thank You for helping this couple to appreciate each other and grow together. Help them to show love and respect to each other’s children. Lord thank you for Your gift of family. We pray this in Jesus’ Name!
Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry
from Blending A Family