‘“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! ‘ Matthew 5:43-44(NLT)
‘or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:5(NLT)
‘For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.’ Psalms 103:11-12(NLT)
‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ‘ Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)
‘“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”’ Matthew 18:23-35(NLT)
We know the pain and devastation from damaged and broken relationships. God knew we would offend Him and each other.
Jesus’ new Covenant tells us to love and do good to our enemies. God has forgiven our debt that we could not pay. When we refuse to forgive we hold others accountable.
Relationships thrive when we forgive others as we want to be forgiven.
Many of us have struggled with unforgiveness. Avoidance or tolerance is not forgiveness.
In forgiveness, we release the one who hurt us, expecting nothing from them, not even an apology. Forgiveness can provide opportunity for a relationship to be restored.
Steps to living a forgiving life:
1. Forgiveness is a process, it takes time, and the Holy Spirit helps us.
2. Define the hurt causing our unforgiveness.
3. Try to understand the one who hurt us. We judge our self by our intentions, but we judge others by their words or actions.
4. People with hurts in their heart cause hurt in others.
5. Ask God to let us see our offender through His eyes. Jesus died to forgive everyone.
6. Just as God separates our sin from us, we need to separate the offense from our offender. Good people do bad things; everyone makes mistakes.
7. Putting our feelings in writing has a way of bringing clarity and healing.
8. Stop talking negatively or slandering. Pray salvation and blessings for them. Reach out to our offender if possible.
9. Allow yourself to grieve.
10. Look forward. God only speaks of plans for our future.
As we change our thoughts, we change our hearts.
Suggestion
Make a list of strained relationships in your life. For each, note whether you are avoiding, tolerating, or forgiving.
Exercise
Find a friend and let them represent the one who hurt you. Look them in the eye and release them as follows:
“(___name___ ), I do not know why you (describe how the person hurt you), but it hurt me deeply. I am tired of thinking negative thoughts when I think of you—it drains the life out of me.
Today I choose to forgive even though you did not ask. I expect nothing from you, not even an apology. I ask God to give you rich blessings. I ask the Holy Spirit to seal my forgiveness with His love and power.”
Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry
from Blending A Family