Unity in the Body
‘Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all. However, he has given each one of us a special gift through the generosity of Christ. That is why the Scriptures say, “When he ascended to the heights, he led a crowd of captives and gave gifts to his people.” Notice that it says “he ascended.” This clearly means that Christ also descended to our lowly world. And the same one who descended is the one who ascended higher than all the heavens, so that he might fill the entire universe with himself. Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
Living as Children of Light
With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:1-32(NLT)
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
One of the greatest dangers to any marriage is unforgiveness. Without the commitment to forgive and wipe the slate clean on a daily basis, a person’s heart becomes hardened and cynical. Think about how a couple can go from being so in love, standing in front of a preacher getting married, to being so bitter, standing in front of a judge going through an angry divorce. How does it happen? One drop of unforgiveness at a time!
According to Ephesians 4, unforgiveness is an open door for the devil. He uses unresolved anger to accuse your spouse to you. Literally, the person you once were so tender and positive toward now becomes the person you are cynical and hardened toward. Unforgiveness destroys intimacy and passion in the relationship. You end up being withdrawn, sarcastic and negative. These are danger signs of a heart hardened by the accumulating effects of unresolved anger and bitterness.
Forgiving a person simply means that you release them from your judgment concerning a wrong they have done to you. It also means you will in no way punish them for wrongs done but will love them as though they had not done them. It doesn’t mean you should not lovingly confront your spouse and talk your problems out. It just means that regardless of your spouse’s response, you are going to make sure your heart remains pure.
The ultimate reason we forgive is that God has forgiven us. He forgave us when we didn’t deserve it and even died on the cross to make our relationship with Him right. Also, Jesus tells us clearly in the gospels that we cannot be forgiven by God if we will not forgive. Even if we think we are justified in our unforgiveness, He offers no exceptions. The penalties for unforgiveness are severe here on earth and in eternity.
Decide to forgive. Don’t let the devil use hurts and problems to infect your heart with his lies. Go before God and do some heart housecleaning if you realize unforgiveness affects you. He will be merciful and gracious to you and once you are finished you will be more like Him.
Talk It Out | Take a few minutes to talk about any issues of unforgiveness between you. It may be something as small as not picking up your dirty socks or forgetting to pay a bill, or it may be a more serious issue. Whatever the case, if one of you became angry with the other, it’s best to talk it out rather than let that anger build. Choose to forgive, and speak words of forgiveness and blessing to each other.
Walk It Out | Commit to praying together each night before you go to sleep. This is a foolproof way to keep unforgiveness and anger from building up between you.
from One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans