‘Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Matthew 19:3-6(NLT)
‘But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.’ Matthew 5:32(NLT)
‘Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:12-14(NLT)
Scripture: Matthew 19:3-6
Lie #5 – Divorce is an option.
I mean, jeez. Really? What happened to “till death do we part”? Entertaining this idea puts a cap on the commitment you’re willing to give to your spouse and will allow other distractions to take away concentration from your relationship. If that little idea’s in the back of your mind, it’s killing your marriage, guaranteed.
In Matthew 19:3-6 a group of Pharisees came to test Jesus and asked: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “‘Haven’t you read,” he replied. “That at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Jesus doesn’t have a category for divorce because the married couple is no longer two people. They’re one. How do you separate one person from one person?
Now, there are allowances in Scripture for divorce in extreme circumstances…
- Matthew 5:32: Jesus said, “Except for sexual immorality.” He made an exception for people whose spouses were acting out sexually. In some of those cases, you can move forward with divorce.
- 1 Corinthians 7:12-14: If you become a believer and your spouse is a non-believer, remains a non-believer and they leave you, divorce is allowed.
- Death probably counts too… But not if you cause it! (There is that commandment about murder, but let’s not go there.)
Just remember: An exception, by definition, is exceptional for extreme cases. It’s normal for marriage to get tough – even so tough that you don’t think you can handle it anymore. But your two options are not “stay in this miserable marriage, or get divorced.” Your two options are: 1) disengage, be unhappy, numb, and live separate lives under the same roof, or 2) actively engross yourself in whatever is necessary to bring life to your marriage by letting Christ handle what you can’t handle anymore.
The lie is that divorce is an option. The truth is that your marriage will suffer if you think you have an option to get out.
Holy Spirit, You are the great Counselor and by Your counsel, I burn my bridges. I’m all in until death do we part. Jesus, I no longer live, but You live in me. I fully surrender to Your leadership. Father, the battle belongs to You. I rest in You and trust in You to bring us to a point of victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil. Amen.</
from Lies That Can Ruin A Marriage by Pete Briscoe