‘O Lord , you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord . You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night— but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you murderers! They blaspheme you; your enemies misuse your name. O Lord , shouldn’t I hate those who hate you? Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you? Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.’ Psalms 139:1-24(NLT)
‘Instead, let us test and examine our ways. Let us turn back to the Lord . Let us lift our hearts and hands to God in heaven and say, “We have sinned and rebelled, and you have not forgiven us. “You have engulfed us with your anger, chased us down, and slaughtered us without mercy. You have hidden yourself in a cloud so our prayers cannot reach you. You have discarded us as refuse and garbage among the nations. “All our enemies have spoken out against us. We are filled with fear, for we are trapped, devastated, and ruined.” Tears stream from my eyes because of the destruction of my people! My tears flow endlessly; they will not stop until the Lord looks down from heaven and sees. My heart is breaking over the fate of all the women of Jerusalem. My enemies, whom I have never harmed, hunted me down like a bird. They threw me into a pit and dropped stones on me. The water rose over my head, and I cried out, “This is the end!” But I called on your name, Lord , from deep within the pit. You heard me when I cried, “Listen to my pleading! Hear my cry for help!” Yes, you came when I called; you told me, “Do not fear.”’ Lamentations 3:40-57(NLT)
‘Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you ; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith. As you test yourselves, I hope you will recognize that we have not failed the test of apostolic authority. We pray to God that you will not do what is wrong by refusing our correction. I hope we won’t need to demonstrate our authority when we arrive. Do the right thing before we come—even if that makes it look like we have failed to demonstrate our authority. For we cannot oppose the truth, but must always stand for the truth. We are glad to seem weak if it helps show that you are actually strong. We pray that you will become mature. I am writing this to you before I come, hoping that I won’t need to deal severely with you when I do come. For I want to use the authority the Lord has given me to strengthen you, not to tear you down.’ 2 Corinthians 13:5-10(NLT)
Scripture: Psalm 139; Lamentations 3:40–57; 2 Corinthians 13:5–10
As Christians, we are called to deny ourselves, not to be ignorant of ourselves. In fact, becoming more self-aware is an important step in living more vulnerably with our spouse. We also find an inextricable connection between knowing oneself and knowing God. Much of seeing God’s bigness depends on seeing our own smallness. Understanding God’s holiness hinges on grasping and grappling with our own sinfulness. Accurately perceiving God’s limitlessness brings our own limits sharply into focus.
We echo Augustine’s prayer, “Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee,” because without knowing our true nature we cannot know God’s.
The difference between God’s call to self-knowledge and the world’s is a matter of motivation, or centrality. The world’s call to self-knowledge is self-centered, whereas the biblical call to self-knowledge is Christ-centered.
Self-knowledge that leads to pride and self-worship is self-centered. Self-knowledge that leads to humbleness and God-worship is Christ-centered.
You and I exist as characters in God’s redemptive story, where Christ is the center. Self-knowledge in light of the gospel equips us to play our non-leading roles in God’s story more faithfully, because knowing who we truly are always leads us to the foot of the cross.
Biblical authors also model introspection as a way of aligning our hearts with God’s. Looking inward, David cried out to God, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23–24).
The lamenter writes, “Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord!” (Lamentations 3:40). In Paul’s final words to the Corinthian church, he warns them in no uncertain terms: “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!” (2 Corinthians 13:5).
The Bible calls believers to consistent, healthy, and Christ-centered introspection for our good and for God’s glory. As we get to know ourselves as a means of being made holy, serving each other, and knowing God more faithfully, our marriages grow stronger, more transparent, and more loving.
Spend time in prayer, speaking out loud Psalm 139:23–24.
from See-Through Marriage by Ryan and Selena Frederick