‘“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Matthew 19:4-6(NLT)
‘The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. God sent a man, John the Baptist, to tell about the light so that everyone might believe because of his testimony. John himself was not the light; he was simply a witness to tell about the light. The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. ‘ John 1:5-10(NLT)
‘For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, ‘ Ephesians 5:8-14(NLT)
Looking back, I feel more than a little sad that I wasted so much time believing that my husband was able to keep his porn use in a little box, entirely separate from our relationship. It wasn’t until we got into recovery that I began to understood the full extent to which porn was affecting our marriage.
In Matthew 19:4 we are told that husband and wife become one flesh. Of course, my husband filling his mind with toxic porn was affecting all aspects of our relationship. To expect otherwise was not only self-destructive, it was unbiblical.
In the battle against porn, we wives really do need to pick up our swords and enter the fray. Not only because we have skin in the game, but because when “two become one” we are uniquely positioned to help our husbands. When my husband was enslaved to a porn addiction, I was the only one who knew and cared that he was drowning in that particular sin. When he was unable to reach out for help, he needed me to throw him a lifeline.
Don’t participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what is done by them in secret. (Ephesians 5:11-12)
By bringing your marriage to the foot of the cross and into the light, you invite Jesus—He who is in the Light—to cleanse, heal, and restore both of you. Recovery from porn addiction is about so much more than eliminating porn. It is about discovering your identity as much-loved children of God and experiencing a new profound level of trust and intimacy in your marriage.
from Fighting for Love in a Porn Affected Marriage by Rosie Makinney