‘Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.’ Proverbs 31:10-31(NLT)
Proverbs 31 is an acrostic poem. This is God’s truth, and it’s very skillfully written. The Hebrew word translated excellent is used 244 times in the Old Testament. Its basic meaning is strength. In fact, some have translated it as valor. Think about the strengths that are found in manhood, those strengths that may be physical in nature and turn into someone’s character. When used of a woman, the word communicates virtue. That is the excellent wife: a woman who is strong, worthy, virtuous, and a crown to her husband.
Interestingly, if I were to ask you, when you think about Proverbs 31 verses 10 to 31, do you think these verses are instructions for a man or woman? How would you categorize it? I think we all tend to categorize it as instructions for women. However, I believe this was written as instructions for a son and for a man. This speaks to men greatly. These instructions tell a man what kind of woman is excellent, virtuous, and desirable. This woman that is described in Proverbs 31 is the type of woman you should marry. My point is that this poem is not only for women, but for both man and woman. Men should read it as instructions to not only look for, but pray for. Then trust and wait on the Lord for her.
Obviously, it is also instructions for a woman. I’m very grateful that God has given me a wife who embodies the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman. She’s not perfect, no woman is, but has those characteristics in her, and that’s God’s grace to her and to me. My wife Jackie was raised in a non-Christian home. She came to Christ in her late teenage years. I share this to encourage anyone who has not been raised in a Christian home, nor has been set with this as a model. My wife didn’t have this kind of model, and so it is good for women who are believers to know that you have everything you need to live this out. God has given you the new nature and the capacity for truth, and He has given you the desire to be who He wants you to be. God will produce these things in your life if you desire it and are teachable.
I encourage you, man or woman of God, to read Proverbs 31 to have a deeper understanding of who God wants you to be or pray for when it comes to dating and the potential of marriage.
from Christian Courtship And Dating