Month: October 2020

‘For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ‘ Ephesians 5:25(NLT)

‘In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. ‘ Ephesians 5:28(NLT)

‘Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.’ Proverbs 31:10-12(NLT)

‘Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”’ Proverbs 31:28-29(NLT)

‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)

As stated in Ephesians 5, women need to feel loved, even when they are not acting in a love-able manner. In his book, “Marriage on the Rock” Jimmy Evans (marriagetoday.org) describes a wife’s #1 need is security and safety. 

Security and safety to each woman is different, but consider that your wife needs:

•  Physical safety, knowing she and her children have no fear of bodily harm,
•  Emotional security, knowing she and her children are highly valued. 

A woman should have no fear of angry outbursts or belittling words. She knows she is highly favored and valued by her husband, feels financially secure, and her dreams, goals, and opinions are valued. She senses her husband is totally committed to their marriage for life. 

“Husbands are the ‘initiator of the good will of the marriage and family’” – Jimmy Evans

Husbands are to take care of their wife and meet her needs and dreams in the same way that Jesus meets our needs and dreams.

A Woman’s Perspective

During a marriage home group, we asked wives what makes them feel loved (safe and secure). They said,

• Being listened to and understood.  
• Value her opinions. 
• Do what you say – (husbands) keep your words and promises. 
• Appreciate her for everyday things. 
• Please do not correct her or in other ways embarrass her in public, even if she’s wrong. Save that discussion for when you’re alone. 
• Support her in front of the children.  
• Don’t choose one child over the other. 
• Romance her.

Suggestions:

Husbands, take time and ask your wife what makes her feel loved. Write her words down.

Give compliments to your bride that she is beautiful and appreciated by you – leaving cards, love notes, taking her out on date nights, etc.. 

Treat your wife as your best friend.

Our Prayer for you:

Almighty God, we ask You to help the couple reading this to grow together and appreciate each other. We pray the husband embraces his wife in the same way You embrace Your Bride (us). We thank You Lord for Your “gift” of marriage, and Your loving care for this family. In Jesus’ Name.

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! ‘ Matthew 5:43-44(NLT)

‘or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:5(NLT)

‘For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.’ Psalms 103:11-12(NLT)

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ‘ Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)

‘“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”’ Matthew 18:23-35(NLT)

We know the pain and devastation from damaged and broken relationships. God knew we would offend Him and each other. 

Jesus’ new Covenant tells us to love and do good to our enemies. God has forgiven our debt that we could not pay. When we refuse to forgive we hold others accountable.

Relationships thrive when we forgive others as we want to be forgiven.

Many of us have struggled with unforgiveness. Avoidance or tolerance is not forgiveness. 

In forgiveness, we release the one who hurt us, expecting nothing from them, not even an apology.  Forgiveness can provide opportunity for a relationship to be restored. 

Steps to living a forgiving life:

1. Forgiveness is a process, it takes time, and the Holy Spirit helps us. 

2. Define the hurt causing our unforgiveness. 

3. Try to understand the one who hurt us. We judge our self by our intentions, but we judge others by their words or actions.

4. People with hurts in their heart cause hurt in others. 

5. Ask God to let us see our offender through His eyes. Jesus died to forgive everyone.

6. Just as God separates our sin from us, we need to separate the offense from our offender. Good people do bad things; everyone makes mistakes.

7. Putting our feelings in writing has a way of bringing clarity and healing.

8. Stop talking negatively or slandering. Pray salvation and blessings for them. Reach out to our offender if possible.

9. Allow yourself to grieve.

10. Look forward. God only speaks of plans for our future.

As we change our thoughts, we change our hearts. 

Suggestion

Make a list of strained relationships in your life. For each, note whether you are avoiding, tolerating, or forgiving. 

Exercise

Find a friend and let them represent the one who hurt you. Look them in the eye and release them as follows:

“(___name___ ), I do not know why you (describe how the person hurt you), but it hurt me deeply. I am tired of thinking negative thoughts when I think of you—it drains the life out of me. 

Today I choose to forgive even though you did not ask. I expect nothing from you, not even an apology. I ask God to give you rich blessings. I ask the Holy Spirit to seal my forgiveness with His love and power.”

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. ‘ Ephesians 5:22-27(NLT)

‘For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.’ Ephesians 6:12(NLT)

‘But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.’ Isaiah 40:31(NLT)

During several years in marriage ministry, we have met people who believe their spouse has major issues (baggage) from their past. We all have quirks from our past. Yet, many have concluded that the only solution they have for a happy life is divorce. 

Divorce is almost never God’s choice, but the choice of a husband and/ or wife who has been deeply hurt by their family, who have unrealistic expectations, or who have lost all hope for a breakthrough. 

In our early years, our past hurts caused us to spew anger and hurt onto each other. We struggled because we were not serving each other.

God’s Plan for Marriage

Every marriage should mimic the relationship Jesus displays with His church (us). God redeems us through His Son Jesus. He promises to restore His priceless children and He longs for a personal relationship with us. 

God is for us. He is not our enemy. Our spouse and other people are not our enemy.

Beautiful marriages occur when each spouse displays redemptive behavior toward each other.

How do we display redemptive behavior? Here are three examples:

• When I learned that Paige had been criticized for years that she was ugly, I began to speak encouragement to her and continually affirm how beautiful she is to me.
• When Paige learned that I had been bullied as a child, she began and continues to affirm the strengths she sees in me.
• As we focused on each other’s strengths, we replaced acts of anger and frustration with acts of kindness towards each other. 

The Holy Spirit wants our words and actions to help undo hurts, redeem and restore our spouse and children. Even if your spouse is not willing to change, changes in one can shift the family intimacy.

Suggestion:

Instead of focusing on the flaws in your spouse, see the strengths they bring to your weaknesses.

Express to your spouse the strengths you see in them. Leave notes, cards or verbally tell them.

Pray with and for each other daily.

Our Prayer for you:

Holy Spirit thank You for Your presence and wisdom in the hearts of each family member. Thank You for the redemption, restoration, and heavenly blessings You bring them. Impart Your character of compassion and kindness into their hearts, in Jesus’ Mighty Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.’ Proverbs 19:11(NLT)

‘But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. ‘ 1 Timothy 6:11(NLT)

As we married in 1989, we quickly became aware that not everyone was ready to accept our new life together. There was resistance by children, friends, some extended family (parents, siblings) and so on.

Though we believed we were ready to move forward and remarry, some family members were not ready to move forward with us. Some had differing opinions, and some were still hurt from our prior divorces. We had unrealistic expectations of our friends and family that:

1. Their hearts were ready for our new life,

2. They would quickly accept our new spouse and children,

Divorce is a transition for all involved including our children, parents, friends, and anyone else who was close to our former life. Not everyone transitions on our timeline. 

Our remarriage was another transition, and we needed to adjust our expectations that not all who are important to us were ready to emotionally accept our new marriage and family. Each person is different, and each person’s heart will process a transition differently. Some people may never make a transition. We cannot control people, but we can lower our expectations and extend patience and kindness toward them.

We officiated a blended family wedding a few years ago. During pre-marriage counseling for the wedding, we asked if there was anyone who was resistant to their upcoming marriage. The bride-to-be said her grandmother was upset about their remarriage. We suggested they take grandma to dinner to let her get to know her fiancé. They did and the grandmother got to know his heart and his love for her granddaughter and her great grandchildren. It calmed the grandmother’s heart and she became excited about the wedding.

It’s important to not “write-off” valuable people from our lives. Show them importance, acceptance, patience, gentleness, and kindness.

Suggestions:

Assess who in your circle has not yet transitioned through your broken home or remarriage. Discuss a strategy with your spouse to include and pursue them.

Our Prayer for you:

Holy Spirit we ask You to help this couple to be inclusive of all extended family, showing them love and value. Give each spouse ideas to embrace each other’s family. Help them to adjust their expectations to give family the time they need to complete life’s transitions, in Jesus’ Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power.’ Psalms 145:4(NLT)

‘Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.’ Proverbs 19:11(NLT)

‘Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.’ Philippians 4:5(NLT)

‘Since you excel in so many ways—in your faith, your gifted speakers, your knowledge, your enthusiasm, and your love from us —I want you to excel also in this gracious act of giving.’ 2 Corinthians 8:7(NLT)

While parents feel ready to marry or remarry, their children may carry negative emotions about a divorce or loss of a parent. When a trauma occurs, adults respond quickly to push through the trauma. Adversely, children can take 12 to 18 months to start processing a trauma.

The pursuit of our dream to remarry often becomes the death of our children’s dream to see mom and dad reunited. As a blended family forms, children may struggle through the changes of homes, schools, cities, friends, new authority from a stepparent, new step-siblings, competing for time with their bio-parent, and new rules. 

One biological parent is missing and may not be involved due to loss from death or other reasons.

Some children who are not yet ready may resist the blended family environment.

We have identified 19 different reasons why a child may resist emotionally connecting to a stepparent or the blended family. Here are a few:

1. A child may still be hurting or angry from the divorce or loss through death of a parent. 

2. One or more unhealed parents are displaying anger, depression, or other mood swings, causing the children to “walk on egg shells.” 

3. A child fears the pain of another home failing so they protect their heart by not emotionally connecting. 

4. The child senses a betrayal factor; “If I get close to my stepdad, I will hurt my real dad, or my real dad will get mad.” 

5. A child feels rejection or abandonment from a biological parent who seldom or never contacts them. 

6. A child does not feel accepted by a step parent which generates feelings of not belonging. 

7. A child is in a “position change” in the new family.  An oldest or youngest child in the biological family may no longer be the oldest or youngest in the Blended Family. This can affect a child’s emotional identity. (from Helen Wheeler, www.changingfamilies.com). 

Suggestions:

Search out what your children are thinking, without recourse.

Speak their identity in Christ to them.

Establish family time and activities. Have fun together!

Our Prayer for you:

Father God thank You that Your amazing Power is always there for this family through the good and the tough times. We declare Your healing and restoration of every heart in this home. We ask You to rule and reign over all, in Jesus’ Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘Yet I am confident I will see the Lord ’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.’ Psalms 27:13(NLT)

‘Children are a gift from the Lord ; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.’ Psalms 127:3-5(NLT)

‘I will teach all your children, and they will enjoy great peace.’ Isaiah 54:13(NLT)

This devotional is about children of divorce and those who lost a parent by death. Read it for them to understand how you can be their advocate.

Below are comments from two of our now-adult children:

“The divorce I experienced was one of hurt, including a custody battle, religious differences, longing for acceptance, feelings of exclusion by my dad’s new family, and awkwardness about relationships.

Having to navigate through all this left me with an identity crisis through early adulthood years.”

“Divorce will be experienced differently by every child, because every child is different. I assumed a role to look out for my younger sister. It was like, ‘You need to grow up fast. Young children need to know that their parents have their hand in life. If they do not feel that, they will believe they cause their parents’ weakness”.

Parents dealing with their pain from a broken home may overlook a child’s pain. Adults tend to think children bounce back, but they stuff pain like us.

Do’s & Don’ts to Help Hurting Children

1. Communicate with our children.  Ask how they are feeling or what they may have overheard. Allow children to express themselves without surprise or repercussion.

2. Often older children will not open up to parents. Identify a team that can listen and speak into their lives; friends, pastors, counselors. 

3. Tell children the divorce was not their fault. It was an adult choice.

4. Pursue our healing. If we are not healthy, our children will not be healthy. 

5. Apologize to them for their hurts, even if we did not cause them. 

7. Model what we want to see in our children. Children will do what we do. 

8. Help children set realistic dreams and goals. 

9. Pray for and with our children every day. God is their healer.

10. Don’t let children become our support.

11. Don’t speak negative words about their other bio parent.

12. Don’t eliminate rules or discipline.

Suggestions:

1. Ask your children what they are feeling.

2. Help your children process all emotions. Celebrate the positive and pray with them over the negative.

Our Prayer for you:

Father thank You for healing and restoration of what has been lost, meeting this family’s needs, and healing the wounds. Bring new hopes and dreams to Your priceless children. Intervene Lord!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.’ James 4:1-3(NLT)

‘For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’ Isaiah 55:9(NLT)

Many of us have opinions on most topics based on how we were raised, educated, our religious beliefs, society and many other factors. And in our heart our opinion is right. 

Opinions can create problems within relationships when we think our opinions are right and the opinions of others are wrong. We can devalue others when we do not validate or accept their opinions.

When we devalue someone else’s opinion, we devalue them. There are always three opinions regarding our issues and differences: our opinion, the other person’s opinion, and God’s ultimate wisdom, and truth in each matter.

Go the extra mile to have an open mind and accept other people’s opinions and suggestions including adults, children, and stepchildren (when practical).  When possible, choose to validate all your family members by choosing their opinions over yours. Everyone needs to be valued and shown respect.

There is a saying about relationships that we can either be right or be happy, but not both.

Let our motivation be to build unity between us and others through compromise. Find that place of unity one area at a time. 

Search the areas in your relationships where there is conflict. And ask the Holy Spirit for God’s truth about each area. He will show you and usher in peace and unity.

We may not always agree with each other. In those instances, don’t let respect fall by the wayside. Don’t value your opinion more than you value the hearts in your marriage and family. 

Suggestions

What strong opinions are hindering or damaging your relationships? Discuss this with your spouse.

How can you defeat all existing barriers so you can grow healthy relationships?

Our Prayer for you:

Holy Spirit help this couple to put any pride, agenda, and opinions aside so that our relationships with others (adults, children, and step-children) can flourish. Help them to listen to understand each heart in their new family and validate their worth within their family. Grow our hearts together as best friends, in Jesus and for His glory.

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.’ Matthew 5:9(NLT)

‘Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges ; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form,’ Philippians 2:1-7(NLT)

‘Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ‘ Colossians 3:12(NLT)

‘But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!’ Galatians 5:22-23(NLT)

A Peacemaker is 

1. a person who brings about peace, especially by reconciling adversaries.; go-between, mediator.

2. a person, group, or nation that tries to make peace, especially by reconciling parties who disagree, quarrel, or fight.

We all want to live in peace in our life, but many lack the peace of God. 

Jesus is the ultimate peacemaker, and He is our model of bringing peace between God and man by showing us the Father’s self-less love, healing, and teaching life-giving words from heaven.

Become a mediator with the goal of making peace by bringing understanding of each heart and a sincere desire to bring peace.

When we are hurt by someone, our prayer to God often reflects our own heart’s pain (praying for them for our benefit). An example is praying that God would remove our offender from our life.

A powerful way to become a peacemaker is through changing our prayer; praying for them—for them. When we change our prayer to “pray for the one who has hurt us” we begin to model the attitude of Christ towards them by seeing them through His heart. We can pray that God will bring salvation, peace, His presence and blessings into their lives. 

Suggestion:

Take a two-week prayer challenge. Make a short list of those who have hurt or offended you (particularly those in your new family). Pray daily for them–for them, giving God the glory as your heart begins to change and feel peace.

Our Prayer for you:

Holy Spirit, show us the value in each person in our life. Help us to see them as You do.  Help us start within our own home to lift them up and encourage them through good and tough times. Bless each peace-maker as they sow Your spirit into each heart! May we bring glory and honor to You Father, in Jesus’ Powerful Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart. ‘ Mark 3:25(NLT)

‘One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him. But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left.’ Matthew 19:13-15(NLT)

‘Upright citizens are good for a city and make it prosper, but the talk of the wicked tears it apart.’ Proverbs 11:11(NLT)

All families are built one relationship at a time. In blended families, the bonding happens as each stepparent spends one-on-one time with each new (step) child to get to know their heart, likes, and dislikes. Just as we dated our spouse and spent quality time to get to know and fall in love with them, the same process is used to bond with our new children. This process needs to be intentional and ongoing.

We agree that a stepparent has no legal rights with a new child. However, a stepparent has the amazing ability to be a positive influence in a child’s life by accepting, encouraging, helping, and guiding them to their future.

Children are very impressionable. We (parents and stepparents) will leave a mark on them (good or bad). Some adults find children a bother, and can either passively or aggressively push them away. Children in these families will usually feel they do not belong, and may guard their hearts from being hurt.

Adults who understand the strong connection children have in a family will become a powerful influence to those children. 

Below are comments from three famous stepchildren who gave a “shout-out” to their stepparents:

Jeff Gordon – At age 4 his stepdad convinced him to drive a midget race-car. “John is the only Dad and manager I’ve ever known.”

Justin Timberlake – “At the age of five, I did see a man come into my life, my stepfather Paul Harless, and show me the value of stepping in and really being a man, falling in love with a woman, and bearing the responsibility of being a father figure to her son.”

Former 1st Lady Nancy Davis Reagan – She adopted her stepfather’s name, Davis, as her surname and stated that she admired him so much that she, eventually, considered him her true father. As a stepparent, we can be that positive influence to every child within our home.

Suggestions:

Ask the Holy Spirit to increase the influence you have with your new children.

Daily look for creative ways to show your stepchildren how important they are to you.

Our Prayer for you:

Father, help my heart to grow and embrace each new child in my life. Give me Your heart to understand theirs, Your ears to hear them, and the ability to influence with Your love. In Jesus’ Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘“At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:23-24(NLT)

‘For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”’ Mark 10:45(NLT)

‘Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.’ Philippians 2:1-4(NLT)

‘“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’’ Matthew 25:34-40(NLT)

When people marry they share vows to express a commitment to love, honor, stand by, and share life together in good and bad times.

In our early married life, we had a lot of disagreements and arguments. We were not seeing our spouse as the gift God intended.

I asked myself, 

• “If we vowed to become one with each other, why are we so divided?”
• “What happened to the commitments we made to each other?”
• “What happened to the excitement we shared while dating?”

The answer lied in our motives. We were two strong-willed people before we met. Our self-centeredness became the root of our disagreements. As we tried to change each other, we were pushing each other away and draining life out of each other.

Unity is, “the state of being joined together, agreement”.

Oneness is, “unity of thought, feeling, belief, goals”.

Next to God, our spouse is (should be) our most important relationship. Communication is the beginning of unity, as each focuses on knowing the thoughts, fears, worries, and dreams within each other.  

Suggestions:

Pray often for your family, asking the Holy Spirit to help you understand each heart. 

Include every member (including adult children) in family fun and activities.

Let your anniversary celebrate your wedding day, as well as the day you started living life with your spouse’s children. Celebrate your life together, with a gift (flowers, card, or other token) of your appreciation. When we invest in our spouse’s children, we love our spouse more completely.

As a family, pick a day each month to serve your community (meals, a food kitchen, nursing home, hospital visits, cleaning someone’s yard.) 

Create new traditions for your new family (holidays, birthdays, special celebrations, your ideas.)

Recall the vows you shared at your wedding. Is there growth toward unity? 

How can you serve your spouse and stepchildren better?

Our prayer for you:

Jesus You are “one” with the Father. You gave Your life to remove our sins, and adopted us. You stop at nothing to demonstrate Your unconditional and faithful love. Help us love our self, our spouse and new children with the selfless love You show us! Guide our thoughts and steps to build our family, in the Name of Jesus!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family