Month: October 2020

‘Give me an eagerness for your laws rather than a love for money!’ Psalms 119:36(NLT)

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ‘ Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)

‘Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more. For you remember what we taught you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a fellow believer in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.’ 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8(NLT)

‘Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.’ 1 Corinthians 7:1-2(NLT)

‘So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.’ 1 Corinthians 7:8-9(NLT)

Our passion is for us and our children to experience God’s “abundance”. God has great plans for our families. His word has principles that make relationships work best. 

We will be bold here and tell you that living together is not God’s design. 

The Journal of Marriage and Family published a study showing couples who lived together before marriage had a higher divorce rate after five years. When there is no commitment our relationships will only go so far. 

The Bible states that pre-marital sex is contrary to what God intended for marriage. Please realize that families will not blend in this environment. 

1. Cohabitation involves a lack of commitment between partners, for whatever reason(s). That issue is seldom discussed by a couple for fear of being perceived as “pushing” the other person to make commitments. Without commitment there can be (and probably is) a lack of fulfillment in the relationship.

2. When children perceive lack of commitment between adults, they may be hesitant to connect to the relationship. 

We knew a 16-year-old son who saw his Mom crying one night. She was experiencing her fifth relationship failure. Frustrated, he told her, “Mom, every time a man leaves you, he leaves me, too.”

If our children tell us negative things about our partner, they risk us choosing our partner over them. That is a risk they may not be willing to take. 

Marriage is not something that can be “tried-out” whether it will work. Marriage is created by God and models the perfect love between Jesus Christ and His church (us). A thriving marriage is two people committed to value and nurture, to love and honor, and to protect each other’s heart. It creates a best friend relationship, putting each other first ahead of our own desires. Marriages that work well have partners committed to making it work. 

We believe that most struggles in marriage are spiritual. If we are building our home with God’s principles, our homes will be filled with love, peace, and joy. 

Suggestions:

Give thought to the reasons you are living together. (fear, finances, loneliness, etc.)

Children do what they see. Do you want your child to follow your example?

Our Prayer for you:

Holy Spirit, take control of negative circumstances, and bring life and truth into this family through the power of uplifting and life giving words, in Jesus’ name!

 Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

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‘Give thanks to the Lord , for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.’ 1 Chronicles 16:34(NLT)

‘“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.’ Matthew 7:7-8(NLT)

‘He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally he will cause justice to be victorious.’ Matthew 12:20(NLT)

Paige and I thought our 8th Anniversary would be a typical Anniversary. But we were stunned when our children presented the gift of a VHS video which celebrated our family. Three months prior, they snuck photo albums and videos of family vacations, birthday parties, and other events out of our home and began to put the video together. As we watched that night in awe, we asked, “What just happened and what does this mean?”

After eight long years our children were declaring that the seven of us were a family. As we sat back digesting the content and meaning of the video, we realized two important things. 

First, the video was a celebration—not just of our eighth anniversary—but a celebration that our family had experienced a transformation. 

Second, our children had seen a change in our family—in how our relationships had grown. 

The highlight of the video, however, was a series of comments written by our children about our family: 

“Jordan is definitely the person to hang around if you’re in a bad mood. He will make you smile over the stupidest things. He has a love for people and a joy for life that I admire.”

“Jessica looks up to me and makes me feel important.” 

“Paige is my best friend. She’s a blast to be around and has the true heart of a servant—a clean servant.” 

“I’m proud to have Moe as my dad. He stands behind us no matter how crazy our ideas are. He brings our family together.” 

“Our family is now one. It’s a big, exciting, funny family.” 

“We are one. We have grown together through the years.” 

“Thanks for the laughs, thanks for the tears, thanks for the last eight years. We love you!” 

Rest assured that Paige and I did not do this. This is the work of God’s Holy Spirit as we sought His wisdom, guidance and healing for our blended family. And He is “no respecter of persons”. What He did in our family he will do for you! Expect the unexpected, and never give up!

Suggestions:

Daily seek and follow God’s wisdom and guidance, and watch Him heal and unite your family.

Daily serve your family members.

What positive statement could you state about each family member? 

Our Prayer for you:

Father we ask You to touch and bring wholeness to this family. Show them how much you love and appreciate each one of them. Amen!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

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‘But from there you will search again for the Lord your God. And if you search for him with all your heart and soul, you will find him.’ Deuteronomy 4:29(NLT)

‘He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.’ Psalms 23:3(NLT)

‘O Lord , I give my life to you. I trust in you, my God! Do not let me be disgraced, or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.’ Psalms 25:1-2(NLT)

When people begin a relationship, there are significant milestones that form soul-ties between the two. Milestones can include praying together, intimate sexual relations, living together, a wedding day, and child birthing, to mention a few.

When a relationship ends through death of a spouse or divorce, the relationship ends, but the souls are still tied. Death or the divorce decree severs the relationship legally, but the souls remain connected.

We say we have let go of our past and have placed people in God’s hands, yet we still hold on. Through divorce or death of a spouse, what was one has been torn into two in the flesh, but not in the spirit. 

We must break the soul tie to become a whole single person. If we fail to let go of the prior relationship in our spirit we will carry them into our next relationship which can cause our new relationship to be divided. When Paige and I married we lived in a home that I had previously lived with my former wife. We repainted rooms, redecorated and started a family wall of pictures of our new family. This was a step in breaking soul ties.

Breaking a soul tie is removing the hold on our soul that a person has on us. It is deeper than emotions, but it affects our emotions. It reaches far into our souls and keeps us from moving on successfully. 

How do you break a soul tie? It is a spiritual exercise. See our suggestions below.

Suggestions:

Remove items from your home, office, car, etc, that bring positive or negative emotions of the past relationship such as fear, frustration, memories, or hurt. These items can be pictures, photo albums, past love notes and cards, vacation memorabilia, etc.

Release the person in prayer to the Father.

Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the previous relationship.

Pray for your soul recovery, giving your life into God’s hands.

Our Prayer for you:

Holy Spirit, we ask that You help break soul ties from their past that they may have brought into their new relationship. Help them to love as a whole person. Lead them on Your path to wholeness. In Jesus’ name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

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‘And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.’ Philippians 1:6(NLT)

‘‘In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams.’ Acts of the Apostles 2:17(NLT)

‘The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.’ John 10:10(NLT)

‘Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.’ Philippians 2:3-4(NLT)

We all have dreams, goals and desires. Some of them are given to us by God. He makes each of us unique by putting gifts, talents, and purposes in us. He is our dream-giver and our dream-maker. 

Paige and I share our concerns, goals and dreams with each other. We are able to fulfill some of them on our own. We take the rest to prayer and have seen God fulfill many of our goals and dreams. One by one, we have seen our goals and dreams become reality. Some have not yet become fulfilled, but we have not given up on them. God’s Word is faithful.

In 1997 I sold my 20 year old boat and used the money for home repairs. In 2004 Paige encouraged me to use family inheritance to buy a new boat and truck. Paige had a strong desire to build a new home together. In 2006 we moved into “our” dream home.

Through the process of sharing and praying for each other’s dreams, we have become best friends. And our strongest best-friend relationships will be with those who come along side of us to help us fulfill our purposes and goals. 

Our spouse should (and will be) our best friend as we look to their interests above our own! Our children and new (step) children also have goals, dreams, and desires. Have you asked each child in your new family what they like and long for? 

Praying and focusing on each other’s dreams and desires will unite your family relationships in a great way.

Suggestions:

Begin to share your desires and dreams with your spouse.

Pray for the fulfillment of each other’s goals and dreams.

Ask your children to share their dreams and goals. Pray with them for God to bring them to pass. Some children’s dreams could be unrealistic (mom and dad getting back together if one or both of you are remarried). Help your children to let go of unrealistic dreams, and establish new dreams.

Our Prayer for you:

Father God, we thank You for the desires and dreams You give each of us that makes us unique! Thank You Holy Spirit for Your loving guidance in our lives in helping us fulfill each other’s interests. For Your Glory Jesus!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.’ James 4:1-3(NLT)

‘For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.’ Ephesians 6:12(NLT)

‘He knew their thoughts, so he said, “Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A family splintered by feuding will fall apart. ‘ Luke 11:17(NLT)

‘“When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him! Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. Amen. “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. ‘ Matthew 6:5-14(NLT)

Our son wrote, “I remember in the beginning of our new family developing, home wasn’t always a peaceful place. It would get very heated between my dad and new mom, so heated that it was very scary for me as a young child. I would think, ‘Here we go again,’ or even, ‘I don’t want to get yelled at’. But it was through those tough times that my new older sister would gather us together, and bring us up to her bedroom and hold us all real close. She knew what was happening more than the rest of us and, she would pray. Then she would keep telling us that we would be ok. 

I remember it was prayer that got us through. It was prayer that gave us peace.

It was prayer that gave us strength. It was prayer that made the difference in my mind.” —Jordan 

There were many days in our early years when Paige and I had no more emotional strength to continue trying to build our family. We were ready to give up many times. We knew our fight was not against each other, our children or even our former spouses. It was mostly our adversary trying to divide us and our family. 

The power of prayer has been the sustaining force that brought the wisdom, knowledge, positive change in our hearts, breakthrough and the victory in our Blended Family. Christians so often underestimate the power of prayer. God is our ally, He is selfless and loving. He calls us His children. We are heirs to all that belongs to God. Jesus called His disciples “friends”. 

God cherishes your new family! He wants to give you everything you need to build a loving Blended Family. But we only hear from God and gain His instruction when we spend time communicating with Him.

Jesus taught His disciples how to pray; He gave them the “Our Father,” which outlines the elements of worship, praise, thanksgiving, prayer requests, forgiveness, and protection. Nothing is impossible with God! 

Suggestions:

When conflicts arise between spouses, retreat from attacking or blaming each other and advance in prayer and God’s Word against your adversary. 

Our Prayer for you:

Father as this family reaches out to You, hear their cry and send You wisdom to bring peace and heal them. For Your glory in Jesus’ Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

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‘When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.’ Proverbs 29:18(NLT)

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ‘ Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)

‘Then the Lord said to me, “Write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others.’ Habakkuk 2:2(NLT)

All people need a purpose for their lives other than simply meeting their needs and wants. Families need a purpose as well. People and businesses do not plan to fail, they fail to plan. 

One day at work my supervisor set out to write a Mission Statement for our customer service team. The team brainstormed to determine what was and wasn’t working well, and what plans and strategies we could implement to better serve our customers.

So we brought this process into our blended family. One night our family sat and developed a Becnel/Morriz Family Mission Statement that focused on relational and spiritual qualities for our family. We had our children participate in the process, asking what was important to them for our family to become and accomplish. We realized later how it gave them a sense of belonging to the family, and ownership of the goals. 

During the meeting, I took notes as everyone commented. We continued around the table several times until everyone had no additional suggestions.  Summarizing the comments, we came up with the following Mission Statement and Strategy for success:

The Mission of the Becnel/Morriz family is to serve Jesus Christ our Lord, as a family,

to express God’s love, honor and grace toward each other, to appreciate the individuality that God gave each of us, to share love with those who need love, encouragement, and hope, and to have fun! 

Strategy for success

Each family member will: Pursue the character of Jesus in their life, establish a high moral standard, stand up for right choices wherever they are, abstain from R-rated or questionable movies and TV programs, discipline with love and grace, treat each family member with respect, honor, and appreciate each other. Pray seven days for seven people, be involved in our church, be involved in community outreach, and enjoy family vacations and other fun activities.

I know writing a mission statement sounds crazy; I received a strange look from Paige when I suggested it. But do not knock it until you try it. 

Suggestion:

Schedule a family meeting to build your unique family mission statement and strategy.

Our Prayer for you:

Good, good Father, thank You for giving creativity to unify this blended family. Bring Your abundance into this home, in Jesus Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”’ Matthew 20:28(NLT)

‘“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye(NLT) when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.’ Matthew 7:3-5(NLT)

‘So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. ‘ Romans 8:1(NLT)

‘Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.’ Psalms 139:23-24(NLT)

‘Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.’ Psalms 127:1(NLT)

In 1987 Moe experienced divorce. As he shared his situation with others, he repeatedly said “My wife left me!” One day in prayer he had this thought, “Yes, your wife left you, but you made her want to leave.” He didn’t realize the hurt he had caused in the relationship. 

Snow White

In the fable of Snow White, the wicked queen asked the mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” When the mirror answered, “Snow White,” the queen tried to remove Snow White rather than determine why she (the queen) was not the fairest. She could not see her own faults. 

The wicked queen portrays human tendencies. Failing to look at our self can cause failed relationships. Self-inventory is tough, but is necessary so we stop undermining relationships.

Suggestion: Self-Examination 

Ask yourself these questions. Be honest with yourself and God.

1. Was God at the center of your marriage? 

2. Are you difficult to please? 

3. Do you criticize others?

4. Do you gossip about your former spouse, or others? 

5. Did you try to change others?

6. Are you easily angered? 

7. Have you used anger or stubbornness (manipulation) to get your way? 

8. Was your former spouse your best friend?

9. Were you more devoted to children, career, or hobby than to your former spouse? 

10. Were you unfaithful to your former spouse (adultery, pornography, flirtatious, etc.)? 

11. Were you physically or verbally abusive? 

12. Do you blame others?  

13. Can you forgive someone who hurt you? 

14. Of the fruit of the Spirit, which do you lack the most? (Galatians 5:22-23)

If you have identified some shortcomings, do not feel defeated or guilty. Repent means “such sorrow for past life as produces a new life”. You can change. Accept responsibility for any damage done to your relationships. 

God forgives you, so forgive yourself. 

Forgive those who hurt you. 

Declare that your remarriage will last a lifetime. Never give up. 

Look Forward. God has a plan for your new family. 

Having a failure does not make you a failure. God is not mad. God’s plan makes you a victor, not a victim. Go forth in God! 

Our Prayer for You

Lord help me understand myself and change my heart to grow my relationships. Holy Spirit thank You for directing my steps in life. In Jesus’ Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family

‘Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the Lord , meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.’ Psalms 1:1-3(NLT)

‘But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. ‘ 1 John 1:9(NLT)

‘And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” ‘ Revelation 21:5(NLT)

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers (Psalm 1:1–3). 

What an awesome promise to those who walk with God. Now consider this same scripture and how it would apply to a family that lives for God. Let’s take that scripture and replace the word “man” with the word “family,” “that family,” or “family’s.” 

Blessed is the [family] who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But [that family’s] delight is in the law of the LORD, and on His law [that family] meditates day and night. [That family] is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever [that family] does prospers (Psalm 1:1–3, modified). 

What is the message in the modified scripture? The family who delights in the law of the Lord prospers. As a husband and wife seek a daily, loving relationship with God, allowing God to take control of their hearts, lives, and decisions they will prosper, and as a direct result, their family will also prosper. 

Suggestions:

Establish a high standard of righteousness (right choices) and excellence in your home.

Parents, be responsible to set goals to achieve a godly standard in your home, and to identify obstacles that hinder the accomplishment of those goals. 

Build the character of the Holy Spirit in every heart in your home.

Our Prayer for You

Father, bring Your blessings into this family as they bring You into their choices. Impart in them the truth and faithfulness that is in Your Presence, in the Mighty Name of Jesus!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry

from Blending A Family