Month: October 2020

‘For all the firstborn males among the people of Israel are mine, both of people and of animals. I set them apart for myself on the day I struck down all the firstborn sons of the Egyptians. ‘ Numbers 8:17(NLT)

‘“The firstborn of every animal belongs to me, including the firstborn males from your herds of cattle and your flocks of sheep and goats. ‘ Exodus 34:19(NLT)

‘Don’t let them waste their time in endless discussion of myths and spiritual pedigrees. These things only lead to meaningless speculations, which don’t help people live a life of faith in God.’ 1 Timothy 1:4(NLT)

God’s first command to man is to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28). After the floods came and devastated the earth’s population, God repeated this command to Noah (Gen 9:1). That’s the only command of God we, the human race, have obeyed very faithfully, perhaps!

Jokes apart, to be able to have children was clearly a blessing that God only can endow couples with – it is not just a result of sexual activity between a man and his wife. This is the teaching of the Bible in passages such as Psalm 128:3 which goes this way: “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine, flourishing within your home. And look at all those children! They sit around your table as vigorous and healthy as young olive trees!”

Some Bible characters understood this particular purpose that God had for their marriages very well. I am referring to Jacob – a man who was the father to 12 sons! He had an entire cricket team at his home and there was room even for the twelfth man! Gideon had 70 sons. He could have conducted a triangular cricket series right in his home’s backyard and picked up the first umpire, second umpire and third umpire from among his children!

Of course, it is not enough that one bears physical children. He or she should raise the children up in the fear of the Lord. “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them!” – this is what the Bible teaches (Prov. 13:24).

Discipline must be diligently meted out to our children every time we see them go the wrong way. We should NOT do it only once in a while or only when we feel like it or only we no longer can tolerate their mischiefs. Priest Eli was a poor dad. He looked the other way when his son slept with the women in the temple. God wasn’t happy with him. We must not ape him.

Parents of our time are keen to send their kids for tuition when it comes to coping with the subjects they are weak in. Why not send them also for tuition (read, Bible studies, youth camps, etc.) when it’s obvious they are weak in their grasp and understanding of the Bible? Why are we so callously okay with giving stepmotherly treatment to the things of God in our lives?

“All the firstborn are mine!” This is what the Lord says repeatedly (Numbers 3:13; 8:17; Ex 13:2; 34:19).

In the New Testament times, this Old Testament teaching could be taken to mean that your child with the best of talents (not necessarily your firstborn) should be encouraged for doing the Lord’s work full-time. This is the duty of parents. We must motivate them for the same. We must pray that they choose to do God’s work in the one life they have. Of course, the final decision will be theirs.

Not all parents have the God-given privilege of bearing natural children for reasons best known to God, but all of them have the greater joy and higher privilege of bearing spiritual children like Paul did. Timothy, Titus and Onesimus were sons in the Christian faith for Paul (I Tim. 1:2; Titus 1:4; Phm 10).

from The Wedding Knot – For What? by Duke Jeyaraj

‘Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”’ Genesis 1:28(NLT)

‘Then God blessed Noah and his sons and told them, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth. ‘ Genesis 9:1(NLT)

‘Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table.’ Psalms 128:3(NLT)

‘Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.’ Proverbs 13:24(NLT)

‘for all the firstborn males are mine. On the day I struck down all the firstborn sons of the Egyptians, I set apart for myself all the firstborn in Israel, both of people and of animals. They are mine; I am the Lord .”’ Numbers 3:13(NLT)

In the book of Song of Songs, we read about an UNSELFISH HUSBAND we husbands must emulate. Husbands, in general, are not naturally inclined to talk lovingly or listen attentively to their wives, especially when it comes to the time for sex. They prefer to rush with the sex act without waiting to strike romance-laced conversations with their spouses, in most cases.

Here, in this book, we read of a different kind of husband. This husband says to his wife, even as both of them are gearing up to make love with each other, “Let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet!” (Song of Songs 2:14b). The same request he repeats in Song of Songs 8:13. Wow!

In the book of Song of Solomon, we read of an UNSELFISH WIFE. Wives are mostly wired to wait for their husbands to make the first move when it comes to sex. But in this book, which is of course inspired by the Holy Spirit, we read of the wife who makes the first move when it comes to sex at times.

She says to her husband, “Let us go early to the vineyards (before mother-in-law awakens, perhaps!) to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom – there I will give you my love!” (Song of Songs 7:12). The vineyard this lady is talking about here is her own body.

In poetic language she invites her husband to come and enjoy the vineyard – the vineyard of her body with all its intoxicating enticements! In Song of Songs 8:5, she further says, “Under the apple tree I aroused you!” She was the one who took the initiative in the act of sex here as well. Wow!

The husband that the book of Song of Solomon is talking about thinks, “Let me place my wife’s interests before me. Though I am not that excited about striking long romantic conversations, I will do just that because my wife likes it that way!”

The wife the book of Song of Solomon is talking about thinks, “Let me initiate sex with my husband, now and then, even though that’s not my cup of tea. That way I will show him that I love him more than I love myself!”

When both husbands and wives both become unselfish, their sex lives become sizzling and reaches the heights that God wanted it to reach! The SELFLESS nature of the husband the book of Song of Solomon is talking about is further illustrated when he ensures that his wife also reaches orgasm even as he does, by using his hands to that effect doing the sex act (that’s how some commentators interpret Song of Songs 2:6 and 8:3).

Paul only emphasizes the truths from Song of Solomon we just read about. Here is his counsel for married couples when it comes to their sex lives in the words of Eugene Peterson: “Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.” (I Cor 7:2-4, The Message)

Isaac understood that God created marriage not just for the production of kids, but also for the enjoyment of sex. That’s why, when he was not exactly young, he was seen ‘fondling’ his wife (Gen. 26:8)

from The Wedding Knot – For What? by Duke Jeyaraj

‘I was a virgin, like a wall; now my breasts are like towers. When my lover looks at me, he is delighted with what he sees.’ Song of Songs 8:10(NLT)

‘Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?’ Proverbs 5:18-20(NLT)

‘Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:5(NLT)

Why did God create marriage? To provide for the only place where the most magical climax on planet earth, “the best fun one can have without laughing,” even sex, can be experienced! Hollywood actress Sharon Stone said, “The best sex there is, is married sex!”

I would like to say in similar vain, the only guilt-free sex happens between a husband and his wife. You can stare at the ceiling with a feeling of absolute serenity and total peace when you have just had sex with your spouse. This does not happen when you just had sex with anyone else. This does not happen after you have just masturbated with your mind full of adulterous thoughts.

There’s peace only when your life partner is standing unclothed in front of you; when it’s someone else (that porn star on that DVD, that movie starlet in your imagination, that office colleague in actuality, etc.), that peace will be shattered. This is the message of the Bible in Song of Songs 8:10.

In the book of Proverbs, the Bible teaches, “Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose – don’t ever quit taking delight in her body!” (Prov 5:18-20, The Message). When some of my close friends have gotten married, I have written this set of verses, unedited, in my greeting card to them!

God’s Word teaches ‘abstaining from sex is permissible’ for the husband and wife ‘only if they mutually agree to it and it’s only for the purposes of prayer and fasting – only for those times’. After such periods, they need to ’come back together’ to experience the joy of sexual intimacy ‘again’ (I Cor 7:5, The Message).

There are 66 books in the Bible. Did you know that God put one whole book in the Bible to make us understand that he created sex for giving the married pleasures untold? I am referring to the book of Song of Solomon.

It is interesting to note that this book does not record the birth of a child. The message of this book then is: “God created marriage for pleasures within the boundary of marriage, not just for the mere production of children!”

from The Wedding Knot – For What? by Duke Jeyaraj

‘Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord . ‘ 1 Samuel 1:10(NLT)

‘“What’s the matter?” his wife Jezebel asked him. “What’s made you so upset that you’re not eating?”’ 1 Kings 21:5(NLT)

‘See which part of the field they are harvesting, and then follow them. I have warned the young men not to treat you roughly. And when you are thirsty, help yourself to the water they have drawn from the well.”’ Ruth 2:9(NLT)

If your Audi R8 breaks down, it is best that you take it to the makers of that car or to the authorized garage of that car. It would be foolish to take it to just any local garage. God is the one who invented marriage, the Bible teaches. As we see marriages being wrecked and made mockery of in our time, it is best we go back to Him, to find out the original purpose that he had for setting up marriage on planet Earth.

That purpose is revealed in God’s Word in human words, the Holy Bible. Let me outline them for you. The study of these purposes will be useful for those who are married (they will know which God-intended purpose they are missing in their marriage) and those who desire to be married (having known God’s purposes for every marriage, they will be able to wisely choose a life partner).

If you are married, you must discover why God wanted you to tie the knot in the first place. If you are planning to get married, it’s wise to find out why God wants you to tie the knot. This will be an interesting study. Let’s start. God created marriage for the facilitation of 5 “MCs”. This is the first one: MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION!

After God created the first man, the Bible records, this was what God said: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.” God created marriage to help the human race fight loneliness. God fashioned Holy Matrimony to help especially women cope with the gnawing feeling they constantly have of being ever so lonely!

Blessed is the man who understands this! If he did and acted upon this realization, that man’s wife would be happy!

Elkanah understood this! This is what he says to Hannah, his wife – a woman who was childless: “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” (I Sam 1:10). When was the last time you (Mr. Husband) talked that lovingly to your wife? When was the last time you had such loving conversations with your spouse?

Queen Jezebel was evil personified. But she can still be taken as an example to follow in the way she spoke to her hubby dear, King Ahab. As he came home after a disgusting day at the office (we can see it that way), she asked him, “Why is your spirit so vexed that you eat no food?” (I Kings 21:5). Not just women, even men have a need for loving, spirit-uplifting conversations in their marriages! Ask King Ahab!

Boaz offered to Ruth exactly what she wanted as a woman – plenty of meaningful conversation. Here is just a sample of what Boaz told Ruth: “And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink what the young men have drawn” (Ruth 2:9). Husband, do you ask your wife things like, “Did you eat”? Do you walk up to her with a glass of water and say, “Please drink”? These are small things, but they mean the world to your wife. They tell her that you love her and that you care for her.

In his message on the family in a huge stadium in England, I heard Dr. Billy Graham say that the secret of making one’s wife happy lies in focusing on these ‘little’ things. Little wonder, he had a successful marriage that lasted over five decades, where he remained faithful to his wife, till her death, despite all the pressures of an international itinerant ministry.

We husbands must understand that the greatest gifts we can give our wives may not be gifts like that trendy Timex watch but time itself! Your best gift to your wife may not necessarily be that diamond ring but an unhurried date in which you whisper sweet nothings to her!

To spend quality time with each other, so that meaningful conversation can evolve, the husband and the wife can read God’s Word together and reflect upon it together.

The ad punchline for the car, Chevrolet Beat Diesel, when it was released in India was this: “Long drives are back!” (because apparently this car gives you the best mileage). Let’s get back to those long drives (even if we drive a car that does not offer good mileage) and long walks with our life partners.

“You will have to consciously switch off your BlackBerry, turn off your computer, and not read your email. You should go on a vacation with your family and take a break, or else it’s coming at you all the time!” Those words weren’t spoken by Family Counselor James Dobson. You will be surprised to know they were spoken by Google Inc.’s then Vice President, Sukhinder S. Cassidy. She said this in India Today Conclave 2007.

from The Wedding Knot – For What? by Duke Jeyaraj