‘My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel. Then you will show discernment, and your lips will express what you’ve learned. For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it. So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say: Stay away from her! Don’t go near the door of her house! If you do, you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved. Strangers will consume your wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor. In the end you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body. You will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors? I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace.” Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.’ Proverbs 5:1-19(NLT)
The verses you read today tell you all you need to know about sexual pleasure. God’s opinion is that, outside of marriage, pursuing sexual pleasure is a destructive objective. In fact, it can lead to death – the death of a ministry, a marriage, a testimony and intimacy with God. The wisdom of Proverbs tells men and women to flee from sexual temptation. It is powerful and deadly.
However, there is an abrupt change in the passage starting with verse 15. All of a sudden, sexual pleasure has become a wonderful, God-given gift. A husband is told to always delight in the sexual love of his wife. Wives are to do the same.
The entire book of Song of Solomon validates the message of Proverbs 5:15-19. Within the covenant of marriage, erotic, exciting sex is a worthy pursuit for both the husband and the wife. A godly marriage should include frequent and satisfying sexual intimacy.
Men and particularly women struggle to make the shift between Proverbs 5:14 and 15. After years of warnings like “don’t give yourself away, don’t think about sex, sex is bad!” all of a sudden, a wedding ceremony makes erotic pleasure something holy and God-honoring.
It’s key to understand that a wedding ring doesn’t somehow redeem your sexual drive. Your body was created to be sexual and to experience sexual pleasure as part of the image of God. Your sexual drive speaks to the innate, God-given passion to connect, commit, celebrate and share yourself in the most intimate way with another human being. While sexual restraint is the challenge before marriage, uninhibited sexual expression is the challenge within marriage.
Somehow, many Christians believe it honors God to withhold or subdue sexual pleasure in the marriage bed. Nothing could be further from the truth! Within the covenant of marriage, you have God’s permission to throw off every restraint and enjoy to the fullest the gift of sexual expression with your spouse.
Question to Ponder: Do you feel like you have God’s permission to fully enjoy sexual pleasure in marriage? Why or why not?
Action Step: Have a conversation with your spouse about how you can learn to bring each other greater pleasure in your sexual relationship.
from God, Sex And Your Marriage