‘For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”’ Matthew 20:28(NLT)
‘“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye(NLT) when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.’ Matthew 7:3-5(NLT)
‘So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. ‘ Romans 8:1(NLT)
‘Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.’ Psalms 139:23-24(NLT)
‘Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.’ Psalms 127:1(NLT)
In 1987 Moe experienced divorce. As he shared his situation with others, he repeatedly said “My wife left me!” One day in prayer he had this thought, “Yes, your wife left you, but you made her want to leave.” He didn’t realize the hurt he had caused in the relationship.
Snow White
In the fable of Snow White, the wicked queen asked the mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” When the mirror answered, “Snow White,” the queen tried to remove Snow White rather than determine why she (the queen) was not the fairest. She could not see her own faults.
The wicked queen portrays human tendencies. Failing to look at our self can cause failed relationships. Self-inventory is tough, but is necessary so we stop undermining relationships.
Suggestion: Self-Examination
Ask yourself these questions. Be honest with yourself and God.
1. Was God at the center of your marriage?
2. Are you difficult to please?
3. Do you criticize others?
4. Do you gossip about your former spouse, or others?
5. Did you try to change others?
6. Are you easily angered?
7. Have you used anger or stubbornness (manipulation) to get your way?
8. Was your former spouse your best friend?
9. Were you more devoted to children, career, or hobby than to your former spouse?
10. Were you unfaithful to your former spouse (adultery, pornography, flirtatious, etc.)?
11. Were you physically or verbally abusive?
12. Do you blame others?
13. Can you forgive someone who hurt you?
14. Of the fruit of the Spirit, which do you lack the most? (Galatians 5:22-23)
If you have identified some shortcomings, do not feel defeated or guilty. Repent means “such sorrow for past life as produces a new life”. You can change. Accept responsibility for any damage done to your relationships.
God forgives you, so forgive yourself.
Forgive those who hurt you.
Declare that your remarriage will last a lifetime. Never give up.
Look Forward. God has a plan for your new family.
Having a failure does not make you a failure. God is not mad. God’s plan makes you a victor, not a victim. Go forth in God!
Our Prayer for You
Lord help me understand myself and change my heart to grow my relationships. Holy Spirit thank You for directing my steps in life. In Jesus’ Name!
Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry
from Blending A Family