‘The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord .’ Proverbs 18:22(NLT)
‘A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.’ Proverbs 12:4(NLT)
‘For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’ Isaiah 55:9(NLT)
‘Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:22-24(NLT)
Building a blended family is not easy. There is usually an initial tug-of-war in every person to not lose what they had in their previous life. Children can struggle as a bio-parent may pay less attention to them, while the bio-parent gives more attention to their new spouse.
Adults can struggle when the new (step) children do not obey or show respect toward them. God has a priority order that makes marriage and family work, regardless of whether it is a first marriage or a remarriage:
1. God is First. God brings success and blessing when He is included as an intimate part of the marriage.
2. Our spouse is second only to God, and is now our priority relationship. God tells us to leave father and mother. I believe we also need to separate or set boundaries for our marriage from others who would hinder it.
3. Children are third in position, but still vitally loved. Children should not be allowed to hinder or divide the marriage God has joined together.
Third is not a bad place. The family will love, provide for, live life together, vacation together, and have fun together. Children will be loved in every way and will only recognize they are in third place when they contend for second place – getting between husband and wife.
Suggestions:
Explain to your children that third place is a position issue, not a love issue. They belong and will always be loved.
Protect your bedroom as a sanctuary for your marriage!
Never stop dating and romancing your spouse!
Never belittle your spouse, especially in front of others!
Stand up for your spouse when a child or someone else is being disrespectful toward them! Represent a unified ‘team’ in dealing with conflict!
Pray for each other as your soul mate and best friend!
As you lead your family unified in purpose and goals, your children will follow. If you do not lead well, your children will likely take over.
Our Prayer for you:
Holy Spirit we ask You to remind this couple daily of the purpose You have for them as husband and wife. Send them the people and resources to help them grow together. Let them live in Your unconditional love for each other, and help them model Your love, mercy, and grace in their home. We ask in Jesus’ Power!
Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry
from Blending A Family