‘Yet I am confident I will see the Lord ’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.’ Psalms 27:13(NLT)
‘Children are a gift from the Lord ; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.’ Psalms 127:3-5(NLT)
‘I will teach all your children, and they will enjoy great peace.’ Isaiah 54:13(NLT)
This devotional is about children of divorce and those who lost a parent by death. Read it for them to understand how you can be their advocate.
Below are comments from two of our now-adult children:
“The divorce I experienced was one of hurt, including a custody battle, religious differences, longing for acceptance, feelings of exclusion by my dad’s new family, and awkwardness about relationships.
Having to navigate through all this left me with an identity crisis through early adulthood years.”
“Divorce will be experienced differently by every child, because every child is different. I assumed a role to look out for my younger sister. It was like, ‘You need to grow up fast. Young children need to know that their parents have their hand in life. If they do not feel that, they will believe they cause their parents’ weakness”.
Parents dealing with their pain from a broken home may overlook a child’s pain. Adults tend to think children bounce back, but they stuff pain like us.
Do’s & Don’ts to Help Hurting Children
1. Communicate with our children. Ask how they are feeling or what they may have overheard. Allow children to express themselves without surprise or repercussion.
2. Often older children will not open up to parents. Identify a team that can listen and speak into their lives; friends, pastors, counselors.
3. Tell children the divorce was not their fault. It was an adult choice.
4. Pursue our healing. If we are not healthy, our children will not be healthy.
5. Apologize to them for their hurts, even if we did not cause them.
7. Model what we want to see in our children. Children will do what we do.
8. Help children set realistic dreams and goals.
9. Pray for and with our children every day. God is their healer.
10. Don’t let children become our support.
11. Don’t speak negative words about their other bio parent.
12. Don’t eliminate rules or discipline.
Suggestions:
1. Ask your children what they are feeling.
2. Help your children process all emotions. Celebrate the positive and pray with them over the negative.
Our Prayer for you:
Father thank You for healing and restoration of what has been lost, meeting this family’s needs, and healing the wounds. Bring new hopes and dreams to Your priceless children. Intervene Lord!
Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry
from Blending A Family