‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:21-33(NLT)
Read: Ephesians 5:21-33
Paul shows Christian couples how their marriage is to be lived in the Lord and transformed by his grace, a living sign reflecting the love of Christ for his church. Christian marriage, then, must be faithful, permanent, self-giving, monogamous, indissoluble, generative, and fruitful. A married couple is a living sign for the whole community that God is loving and merciful, generous and self-giving, trustworthy and steadfast, creative and abundant.
In the Greco-Roman culture, the patriarch was the head of his wife and household, who were required to obey him. While not overturning the norms of the culture, Paul shows how marriage is transformed when understood as a sacramental image of Christ and his church. Instead of male dominance, Paul tells husbands and wives to “be subordinate to one another” (v. 21 NABRE). The responsibilities within marriage are mutual, each responding to the needs of the other. If a husband is to be head of the wife, it must be in the way that Christ is head of the church, responsible for her and giving himself totally for her. Husbands must love their wives in the way that Christ loves the church, completely subordinating his own life for hers, always seeking the good of his spouse with self-sacrificial love (v. 25).
In Christian marriage there is no place for authoritarianism, self-assertion, and self-centeredness. Spouses are responsible for the holiness and salvation of each other. As Christ bathes his church in baptism and nourishes it with Eucharist, the husband must cherish his wife’s body and soul.
REFLECT: What can I incorporate into my own life from Paul’s description of the husband-wife relationship in marriage?
PRAY: Faithful God, who calls husbands and wives to reflect the love of Christ and his church, give me the grace I need to be a visible sign of your love in the world.
from Into The Breach – How A Christian Man Loves