‘If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.’ 1 Corinthians 13:1-13(NLT)
“You didn’t need to do that.”
“I know — I wanted to,” Les replied.
All morning I was working like mad to complete a report that was due after lunch. It was an unusually hot, muggy, Seattle morning in August and I was parked at the kitchen table in front of my laptop when Les quietly slipped in and set up a fan to cool the room.
“I don’t know if it will make any difference,” Les said while trying to place the fan in just the right place, “but I thought it was worth a try.”
I don’t know if the fan did anything to alleviate the oppressive heat that morning, but I do recall feeling suddenly soothed by my husband’s kindness. Why? Because he didn’t have to go to the trouble of scrounging around our basement, still wearing his pre-shower bath robe, to find our old fan in an attempt to make me feel better. I didn’t ask him to do it. He never even heard me complain about the heat. He wasn’t looking for appreciation, to make amends, or to get something in return. Nope. This was sheer kindness.
It’s easy to gloss over the simple idea that “love is kind” while reading Paul’s Love Poem in 1 Corinthians 13. But if we do skip over this critical quality of love, we are missing out on one of the most revolutionary relationship-truths in the universe. Kindness is an integral part of love because it stems from an attitude that desires neither monetary payment nor human applause.
Kindness comes from a million small behaviors that enhance the life of the one we love. Make no mistake about it: Once we remove kindness from a loving heart it is only a matter of time before it atrophies and love is lost altogether.
So what will each of you do to make kindness a common occurrence in your relationship? Read through 1 Corinthians 13 together in a few different translations. Hear it with new ears. And consider how each of the qualities of love – including kindness – will be part of your love map together.
from The SYMBIS Assessment Plan by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott