‘So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:33(NLT)
‘In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.
Husbands
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
All Christians
Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. ‘ 1 Peter 3:1-9(NLT)
Years ago, when I (Jason) was a pastor at a local church, I ran into a woman who worked downstairs. I said my hellos and kept walking. She called my name. I turned around to see if something was wrong.
She ran up to me frantically. Just a few months back, she had shared about her son and how well he was doing in college. He had always been a great student and even considered becoming a missionary. But now something was terribly wrong. When her son came home for spring break, he told his mom and dad that he was an atheist. She was shocked. For the next year, I tried helping the family, but their college son never came back to Christ.
I remember how defeated the parents felt. Over and over they would explain their efforts to raise their kids in a Christian home. They spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on private Christian education and stayed involved in as many activities as their kids were in. But as I talked with the parents, I kept noticing something. The couple argued all the time. When he would start to say something, she would interrupt him. When she would speak, he would correct her, which led to even more arguing. It was nonstop.
Why do I bring up this story?
I bring it up because if you want to get along with your millennial, you have to first get along with your spouse. Given the divorce rates and remarriages these days, I’m sure it’s going to be very difficult for some of you.
Some of you are divorced and have very little (or no) communication with your ex-spouse. Some of you have been married a long time but were never on the same page when raising the kids. Now that your children are grown, it’s a moot issue.
Others of you are divorced and remarried. Which means you have stepchildren in the mix—and that can make things a bit more complicated.
The rest of you are still happily married and finding more ways to relate and get along with your adult children. Good for you!
Families these days are very different. Some are more complicated and messy than others. But the fact remains that God expects parents to strive for togetherness and be a united front in the home. To have a rock-solid marriage and be on the same page in their parenting. It’s really hard to get along with your millennial if you can’t even get along with your spouse. No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to keep your marital problems from interfering with your parenting. Work things out with your spouse. Do whatever is necessary to restore and strengthen your marriage.
Marriage is the centerpiece of the family. When the marriage is strong, the family will be strong. But if the marriage is weak, the family will be weak. If the marriage is in trouble, the family is in trouble. The problems you have with your millennial may easily be related to past and present troubles in your marriage.
If things are really bad in your marriage or between you and your millennial child, seek help from a godly couple, accountability group, or from a biblical counselor. The Bible says, “Where there is no counsel people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11: 14). Added guidance will give you the support needed to work through major issues between you and your millennial. Don’t neglect this. Get the help you need. Because in order for parents to build their relationship with their millennials, they need to first and foremost have unity in their marriages.
from How To Help Your Millennial Return To Faith by Jason Jimenez