Month: September 2020

‘Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ‘ Colossians 3:13(NLT)

‘For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another. Living by the Spirit’s Power
So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. ‘ Galatians 5:14-16(NLT)

‘Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.’ Proverbs 16:24(NLT)

“A happy marriage is a union of two good forgivers.”  —Ruth Graham 

Marriage would be so much easier if husbands and wives realized they’re on the same side. No great marriage is healthy because of chemistry or because you marry your “soulmate”—great marriages are only healthy when you choose to work on them. It’s two imperfect people going through the process of becoming one through loads of forgiveness. 

When we stop intentionally investing time to work on our marriages, we can find ourselves slowly growing apart. The little things can make a great difference—good or bad. The little weekly date nights change everything, tiny grudges and resentments bring big issues, and little words can build up or tear down! Let’s look at our last three red flags in marriage: 

1) You stop making an effort to spend quality time together. 

2) You stop apologizing. 

3) The daily tone changes to increased sarcasm, put downs, and complaining. 

So, what can we do when we see one of those red flags? Spend quality time together, learn to apologize, and change the tone of your heart and mouth toward one another. Quality time is essential to a fulfilling and happy relationship. Weekly date nights can make all the difference. Your spouse is meant to be your best friend—your partner through life—but that can only happen if you’re making memories together and carving out time from the business of life to be together. 

Forgiveness is key. Don’t let bitterness grow in your heart against the one that you love. Guard your heart because out of it flows all the issues of life! Take a step forward and forgive! Finally, what’s the tone in your heart and words toward your marriage? How do you see your spouse? Maybe it’s time to ask God to give you a new perspective on your marriage. Make changes today to love your spouse the way they need to be loved. 

If you resonate with any of these red flags, it’s time to look inward at how you can change, address the mess, repent, forgive one another, resolve negative feelings daily, commit to pursue each other with fun and passion, renew your vows, and pray together to ask Heaven to invade your marriage! It’s a process, but it’s absolutely worth it! 

Pray with me today: “Heavenly Father, I commit my marriage to you. Today, I choose to walk in forgiveness. Help us to start fresh and keep our eyes and hearts fixed on your Son. Work in me to see my spouse the way you see them and to love them the way you love them. In Jesus’ name, amen.” 

from Red Flags: A 10 Day Devotional On Relationships

‘Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!’ 2 Corinthians 10:12(NLT)

‘Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.’ Ephesians 4:29(NLT)

‘The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord .’ Proverbs 18:22(NLT)

‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ‘ Genesis 2:18(NLT)

Familiarity can be a dangerous thing. It’s easy to become familiar with the things that matter most: God, His Church, marriage, family…the list goes on. Truthfully, familiarity has killed more marriages than adultery. When we are familiar with something, we treat it as common. 

If we think we know everything about our spouse, we stop pursuing them with fresh curiosity and passion. When familiarity is taken too far, it causes married couples to become better roommates than life partners full of love, intimacy, and friendship. Let’s look at three red flags that come from familiarity:

1) You start to treat each other as common.

2) Neither of you have said “I love you” in a long time. 

3) Either of you begin to constantly compare one another or your relationships to other couples. 

If we’re not intentional, before we know it, we can drift away from the person we hold so dearly. You don’t often realize you’re drifting in the moment. That’s why with everything that’s important to us—our relationship with God, our marriages, our families, our callings—we must be daily engaged and attentive to the truth! 

Let’s never become too familiar with the one we love. Let’s look for ways to connect with them again today by asking new questions, planning a fun date night, or expressing your love and appreciation. If the red flags of familiarity are waving in your face, bring it before God and make a decision to live with your eyes wide open in wonder as you are reminded of all the things you love and appreciate about your marriage! 

Pray with me today: “Heavenly Father, help me to never have a spirit of familiarity toward you, my spouse, my family, or my life! Help me to live fully awake and in tune with your Spirit, and if I’ve drifted, show me the way back to your plan and purpose for my marriage. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

from Red Flags: A 10 Day Devotional On Relationships

‘For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. ‘ Galatians 5:13(NLT)

‘Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:22-24(NLT)

‘“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Matthew 19:4-6(NLT)

“Marriage may be the closest thing to Heaven or Hell that any of us will ever know on this earth.”  —Edwin Louis Cole

Let’s address the state of the union…of marriage, that is! If you have a healthy marriage, it’s one of the greatest blessings. If you have an unhealthy marriage, it’s one of the greatest burdens. God created us to have satisfying, thriving, purposeful marriages that push the Kingdom of God forward. In order to do so, we need to be aware of red flags that come up in our relationships, not so we can run away, but so we can work through them, so they grow secure and strong. 

Healthy marriages have healthy habits. Habits determine the outcome of your life. They’re required behaviors and repeated patterns. No marriage is just naturally great. A good, solid marriage takes intentional work from both husband and wife! 

In the best way possible, marriage sucks the selfishness out of us. If your marriage is amazing, has room for improvement, or is on the brink of disaster, I believe God can speak to every single one of us the next three days as we have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to understand. Let’s look at the first three red flags in marriage to be aware of: 

1) You stop serving one another. 

2) One spouse wants to control everything all the time. 

3) Blaming one another becomes a regular response. 

Marriage was a part of God’s plan from the beginning. Without Eve, Adam was left lacking. Marriage shapes us more into the likeness of Christ, causes us to grow in every area of life, and fulfills the desires of our hearts for intimacy and community. In a Christ-centered marriage, we are fully known and fully loved…it’s a reflection of the unconditional love of God. 

If you see any of the red flags covered today in your marriage, it’s not a sign to run, give up, or hide, but rather a call to honesty and commitment. Have a conversation with your spouse about areas and ways you want to see your marriage grow. Bring it before God together in prayer. See a counselor if that’s needed to bring health and healing. With God, any broken piece can be redeemed and restored! 

Pray with me today: “Heavenly Father, I commit my marriage to you. Show us areas that we need to grow in, draw us closer to one another, and make us more like Jesus. I pray you would work in our hearts and help us to have a marriage that reflects your love to the world. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

from Red Flags: A 10 Day Devotional On Relationships

‘That is why the Scriptures say, “When he ascended to the heights, he led a crowd of captives and gave gifts to his people.” Notice that it says “he ascended.” This clearly means that Christ also descended to our lowly world. And the same one who descended is the one who ascended higher than all the heavens, so that he might fill the entire universe with himself. Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.’ Ephesians 4:8-13(NLT)

‘Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.’ Ephesians 4:29(NLT)

‘For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. ‘ 2 Corinthians 3:17(NLT)

I remember being interested in a girl at the university I went to before I met my amazing wife. I kept asking her to go on a date, and she kept turning me down. But every time after she said no, she would say this one little line that I never understood: “I don’t want to go out with you right now, but try again later and we’ll see.” 

What does that even mean? I spent way too much time waiting around and wallowing in self-pity because she didn’t like me but wanted me to stick around. Eventually, I got alone with God and poured my heart out to Him. He helped me to move on by promising that He had someone amazing in store for me and that girl was my beautiful wife. Praise God!

The girl that I thought I wanted was full of red flags for me in that season. Why? Because God had someone waiting for me on the other side. Don’t settle for someone who isn’t in love with you! Don’t play games with someone who is manipulative, critical, or makes you feel less than. Be on the lookout for these three red flags in potential partners: 

1) They want to hide things from you, or you want to hide your relationship with them from others. 

2) They are often critical of you. 

3) They are controlling, pushy, and manipulative. 

If you’re tired of dating and have experienced heartbreak after heartbreak, don’t give up. God’s got great plans for you. He loves to fulfill the desires of your heart. The most important thing to look for in a spouse is a genuine love for God. Keep your heart full of hope and hold onto His promises! 

He’s got your back. Don’t back down from disappointment or discouragement. Live your life fully right now. Follow Jesus with your whole heart exactly where you are. Start that business, buy that house, take that trip! Love God with all you have, love the people around you, love yourself, and love your season.   

Pray with Me: “Heavenly Father, help me to live in this season fully right now and enjoy this time before marriage. I dedicate myself fully to You! Show me if there are any red flags to be aware of in dating and help me to walk in the path You have for me. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

from Red Flags: A 10 Day Devotional On Relationships

‘My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?’ James 2:1-4(NLT)

‘Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.’ Philippians 2:1-4(NLT)

‘In the same way, you who are younger must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. ‘ 1 Peter 5:5-6(NLT)

Have you ever gone on a date with someone where you were unable to get one word in because all they did was talk about themselves? There are many first date horror stories out there that can bring a good laugh. In fact, I have a few myself. 

I went on a date with a girl while I was in college that started off innocently enough. We were casually talking about my family when she asked if she could meet my parents. I told her that she could meet them at church any Sunday since they were the pastors. She pressed on to say that she wanted to be invited to our family dinners, and then went even further to mention that she wanted to go on our family vacation that we had every year! This was all on the first date. 

You can imagine the red flags that were popping up in my heart. Safe to say, we never went on another date. As you get to know the person you’re interested in, pay attention to three more red flags God gives us to see beneath the surface of the relationship. 

1) They treat you sweet but everyone else different. 

2) They worship me, myself, and I. 

3) They can never admit they’re wrong and find pride easier than humility. 

If you see these red flags in your dating relationship, ask the Holy Spirit what your next step should be. Maybe it’s time to have an honest conversation that brings about change. Character, humility, and selflessness are qualities worthy of pursuing. God has a great spouse in store for you, don’t settle for less than His best! 

Let’s not be so caught up in outward appearances that we forget to look at the heart. Let’s look with eyes of faith and hearts full of wisdom and ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate things to us that we need to know so we can walk out this dating season with joy and peace! 

Pray with me today: “Heavenly Father, help me to become more and more like you. Cause me to live selflessly, humbly, and full of love for you, your church, and your people. Grow me through the processes of relationships and teach me to always keep my eyes on You. In Jesus’ name, amen.” 

from Red Flags: A 10 Day Devotional On Relationships

‘Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.’ Proverbs 11:14(NLT)

‘Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.’ Psalms 139:14-16(NLT)

‘You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.’ Matthew 7:16-20(NLT)

Dating can be hard. If you’re single right now, you know that it brings both unique challenges and unique joys! Starting a relationship is one thing, but maintaining a healthy relationship is another thing. At the beginning of your time together you both put your best foot forward, but as time goes by you learn more and more about the other person, for better or for worse. 

If you’re married, don’t skip through just yet! These are also great red flags to see in yourself and ask the Holy Spirit’s help to change. Also, you might want to pass them on to others in your life who are walking through this season. 

While you’re dating someone and on the journey of looking for a potential spouse to share life with, ask for God to bring things to the surface and show you red flags early on! Love can be blind, so we need the Holy Spirit’s help to see through the facade straight to the heart of a person. 

Below are three red flags to look out for in any dating relationship:

1) They cut off all their good friends and only want to be with you. 

2) You can’t be yourself around them. 

3) They have a warped view of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Church. 

If you’re dating someone and see one of these red flags come up, it doesn’t mean you have to break up, but it does mean it would be wise to have an honest conversation! It’s best to address the mess before it gets the best of you. 

You are a child of God and He wants the best for you. When you walk out dating relationships with open hands to your Heavenly Father and a surrendered heart to the Holy Spirit’s guidance, you can trust that the Lord will lead you to the right person to spend your life with in His timing! 

Pray with me today: “Heavenly Father, help me to surrender to you with my relationships. I lean in to you for guidance with who I date and ask for wisdom. Show me red flags if I need to see them and give me the strength to follow you with all my ways! In Jesus’ name, amen.”

from Red Flags: A 10 Day Devotional On Relationships

‘The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.’ Psalms 32:8(NLT)

‘A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.’ Proverbs 27:12(NLT)

‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.’ Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT)

Have you ever been in a situation where it all looked good on the outside, but on the inside you felt uncomfortable, nervous, or on guard? Those feelings are red flags. It’s the Holy Spirit saying, “Watch out, there’s danger ahead!” 

God is our faithful guide and our loving counselor. He promises to lead us through life and be with us in every season. In His goodness and mercy toward us, He gives us red flags in our hearts if something ahead will bring danger or destruction. 

Red flags aren’t meant to keep you from having fun, but rather to keep you on the right path for your life so you can fully live out your God-given destiny! Learning to follow God even when you don’t understand requires trust and obedience, but it’s so worth it because you learn to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and let Him lead, guide, and counsel you through every step of life. 

Maybe you’ve felt an odd feeling when you’ve started to invest into a new friendship, went to interview for a job opportunity, or began dating someone new, and then later wished you had listened to that gut instinct. Truthfully, that’s more than just gut instinct. If you follow Jesus, that’s often the Holy Spirit leading you! One way God leads us is through protecting us from going down the wrong path. 

Throughout this 10-day devotional plan, we will look at various red flags God graciously gives us in our dating relationships, our marriages, and within ourselves. I pray that whatever season you find yourself in, you’ll gain fresh wisdom and understanding on what to look for and what to look out for in the relationships in your life. I believe this will be transformative to how you follow God, trust His plan, and step into your future! 

Pray with me today: “Heavenly Father, teach me how to recognize the red flags you give me in my life so I can stay safely and securely on your path. I want to be sensitive to your Spirit, surrendered to your plan, and devoted to your purposes in all things. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

from Red Flags: A 10 Day Devotional On Relationships