Month: September 2020

‘My lover is dark and dazzling, better than ten thousand others! His head is finest gold, his wavy hair is black as a raven. His eyes sparkle like doves beside springs of water; they are set like jewels washed in milk. His cheeks are like gardens of spices giving off fragrance. His lips are like lilies, perfumed with myrrh. His arms are like rounded bars of gold, set with beryl. His body is like bright ivory, glowing with lapis lazuli. His legs are like marble pillars set in sockets of finest gold. His posture is stately, like the noble cedars of Lebanon. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend.’ Song of Songs 5:10-16(NLT)

‘So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:33(NLT)

‘So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.’ 1 Thessalonians 5:11(NLT)

 Have you forgotten what drew you to your man in the first place? Tomorrow, look at him. Really look at him. Notice his hands. His eyes. His arms. Look at him, and admire his wonderful qualities rather than focusing on his worst.

I wonder what your husband would do if you wrote out your own version of the Shulammite’s appraisal of her man. It might be fun to give it a try. Consider writing such a list and giving it to him. Better yet, read it to him and touch each part of his body as you describe what you admire about it.

When it comes to appreciating our husbands, sometimes we just need a little reminder.

Susan attended a class on marriage. Part of the assignment for one of the weeks was to tell her husband something she admired about him. In all their years together, she had never put her admiration into words. It was a big step for her. She didn’t quite know how to start, even though she loved her husband. That evening, while he was reading the paper, she sat down next to him on the sofa and began stroking his arm. After a bit, she stopped at the bicep and squeezed. He subconsciously flexed his muscle, and she said, “Oh, I never knew you were so muscular!” He put down the paper, looked at her, and inquired, “What else?” He was so starved for admiration, he invited her to say more.

How about your man? When was the last time you told him that you loved his smile or admired his talent? Can’t remember? Well, today could be the day! That’s your homework. Use your words to build up that man of yours.

Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Make the most of the best and the least of the worse.” Too many times we flip what Stevenson said and make the most of the worst and least of the best. Let’s change that. Today. Right now.

from Lovestruck

‘Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! And evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day.’ Genesis 1:31 (NLT)

‘Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.’ Hebrews 13:4(NLT)

‘The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.’ John 10:10(NLT)

‘Awake, north wind! Rise up, south wind! Blow on my garden and spread its fragrance all around. Come into your garden, my love; taste its finest fruits.’ Song of Songs 4:16(NLT)

‘And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” ‘ 1 Corinthians 6:16(NLT)

 If anyone says that sex is dirty or shameful, we have an entire Bible to contradict them. God created the gift of sex for a husband and wife to enjoy in the safety of marriage and called it good (Gen. 1:31). We are to “honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband” (Heb. 13:4 the message). To honor something means that you put a high value on it; you esteem it as valuable. Sex within marriage is a good thing; it’s a God thing.

We are not “less holy” when we are passionately loving our husbands, and we should never be embarrassed or feel guilty about it. I honestly think the Enemy who comes to “steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10) has done a pretty good job of distorting what intimacy should be between a husband and a wife. Let’s not let him win.

It is easy to think of a marriage as a holy union designed by God. But we must remember that sex is also a holy union designed by God. The oneness that occurs in physical intimacy is not matched in any other way. If you strip away the spiritual and emotional significance of sex, it becomes a physical source of pleasure that lasts for a moment. When you grasp the God-intended dimension of the physical union, it becomes a renewal of the marriage covenant that lasts for a lifetime. “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact” (1 Cor. 6:16 the message). . . .

When you consider physical intimacy from God’s perspective, rather than the current culture’s perception, you begin to comprehend the depth and breadth—the weightiness and incredible value—of the gift.

from Lovestruck

‘Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Genesis 2:22-24(NLT)

‘So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea. Thus the Israelites left Egypt like an army ready for battle. Moses took the bones of Joseph with him, for Joseph had made the sons of Israel swear to do this. He said, “God will certainly come to help you. When he does, you must take my bones with you from this place.” The Israelites left Succoth and camped at Etham on the edge of the wilderness. The Lord went ahead of them. He guided them during the day with a pillar of cloud, and he provided light at night with a pillar of fire. This allowed them to travel by day or by night. And the Lord did not remove the pillar of cloud or pillar of fire from its place in front of the people.’ Exodus 13:18-22(NLT)

‘My lover said to me, “Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!’ Song of Songs 2:10(NLT)

‘The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!”’ Song of Songs 2:13(NLT)

‘Who is this sweeping in from the wilderness like a cloud of smoke? Who is it, fragrant with myrrh and frankincense and every kind of spice? Look, it is Solomon’s carriage, surrounded by sixty heroic men, the best of Israel’s soldiers. They are all skilled swordsmen, experienced warriors. Each wears a sword on his thigh, ready to defend the king against an attack in the night. King Solomon’s carriage is built of wood imported from Lebanon. Its posts are silver, its canopy gold; its cushions are purple. It was decorated with love by the young women of Jerusalem.
Young Woman
Come out to see King Solomon, young women of Jerusalem. He wears the crown his mother gave him on his wedding day, his most joyous day.’ Song of Songs 3:6-11(NLT)

Solomon and the Shulammite (and their parents) seemed to grasp the concept of leaving and cleaving very well. They also didn’t have trouble remembering that beyond the fancy clothes and fairy-tale decor, there was something very important going on in their wedding ceremony—something holy.

A wedding is an earthly ceremony of a spiritual covenant between a man and a woman before God. Our culture has made a wedding into one big party, more of an event than an everlasting covenant. And while it is a time for celebration, if we miss the spiritual significance, then we’ve missed the true meaning. If we miss the true meaning, then we forfeit the underlying foundation for lifelong intimacy.

Solomon and the Shulammite understood the meaning of marriage. They didn’t miss it at all. Let’s go back to their wedding procession.

There came the bride, with a pillar of smoke leading the way. That pillar of smoke or incense would have undoubtedly reminded the Hebrew attendees of the God who led the children of Israel through the wilderness with a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night (Exodus 13:18–22). They would have remembered how God brought them out of Egyptian slavery and into the Promised Land. While there might have been an extensive guest list for the wedding celebration, God’s presence was leading the way. He was the One who had brought them together and would keep them together.

But just like the Promised Land for the Israelites, the promised land of marriage is not without its struggles. If we keep coming to God as a couple, however, he will help us through every one of them. . . . Having God at the center of any marriage helps hold it together for the long haul. Inviting God’s presence into the wedding celebration is a great place to begin. Solomon’s preparation of the wedding ceremony confirmed that he considered marriage a sacred moment with God leading the way.

from Lovestruck

‘I am the spring crocus blooming on the Sharon Plain, the lily of the valley.
Young Man
Like a lily among thistles is my darling among young women.
Young Woman
Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit. He escorts me to the banquet hall; it’s obvious how much he loves me. Strengthen me with raisin cakes, refresh me with apples, for I am weak with love. His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right. Ah, I hear my lover coming! He is leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills. My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young stag. Look, there he is behind the wall, looking through the window, peering into the room. My lover said to me, “Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one! Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!”
Young Man
My dove is hiding behind the rocks, behind an outcrop on the cliff. Let me see your face; let me hear your voice. For your voice is pleasant, and your face is lovely.
Young Women of Jerusalem
Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!
Young Woman
My lover is mine, and I am his. He browses among the lilies. Before the dawn breezes blow and the night shadows flee, return to me, my love, like a gazelle or a young stag on the rugged mountains.’ Song of Songs 2:1-17(NLT)

‘The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.’ Proverbs 18:21(NLT)

‘Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.’ Proverbs 31:10(NLT)

 In a growing relationship it’s so important that a woman not only receive compliments but also gives them. That’s true when we’re dating as well as when we’re married. The giving and receiving of compliments shouldn’t end until we hear the words “May he/she rest in peace.” Did you know that your husband questions his manhood on a regular basis? Guys often feel a need to prove themselves in their work, in their play, and in their marriage. Watch guys at the gym (I mean that in the most innocent way), and you may notice how they compare themselves with each other. That is just a glimpse of how they compare themselves in other arenas of life. Men operate under the burden of performance that leads them to question their ability and impact constantly. From boyhood to manhood they hold themselves to a self-imposed measuring stick that rarely says they’re enough.

I don’t want my husband to have to go somewhere other than home to be affirmed. I bet you don’t either. Let your husband know that, among all the ordinary trees in the forest, he is an apple tree that produces extraordinary fruit. Give him the gift of being preferred. Tell him often that you love tasting his delicious juicy fruit and sitting under the protective branches of his strong hunky arms. I bet you’ll see a yummy smile come on his face.

Solomon and the Shulammite almost seem like they were making a game out of giving compliments, or maybe they just couldn’t contain their excitement. Either way, they were doing more than simply pouring out admiration; they were wooing with words. This makes me stop and think, When was the last time I complimented my husband or let him know that I desired him physically? When was the last time I told him that his love was security and protection itself? That he is the handsomest, wisest, most exciting man alive? That I love kissing him? That I enjoy being near him? I wonder, when was the last time you let your man know that, even though you’ve been married for quite some time, he’s still everything you ever longed for?

from Lovestruck

‘Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine. How pleasing is your fragrance; your name is like the spreading fragrance of scented oils. No wonder all the young women love you! Take me with you; come, let’s run! The king has brought me into his bedroom.’ Song of Songs 1:2-4(NLT)

‘Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly.”’ John 7:24(NLT)

‘But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”’ 1 Samuel 16:7(NLT)

 The beginning of a romantic relationship is such an exciting, heady time. It starts with that initial attraction, the breathless wondering about the other person’s feelings and the early stages of desire—all natural parts of the process as we walk toward commitment and deeper intimacy. We see all of this in the first chapters of the Song of Solomon, just as we see it in our own love stories.

It’s a universal experience to be drawn to specific person because of a certain something you can’t quite put your finger on. Isn’t it interesting that one woman will find a man attractive and another will not? Or that one man will find a woman alluring and another will not? Beauty (or handsomeness) truly is in the eye of the beholder. During my dating days, I was never attracted to the neat and tidy guys. Some of my friends swooned over guys with perfect hair who wore name-brand shirts and khaki pants. Not me. I was attracted to rugged guys with a bit of grit, dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. Some are attracted to blue eyes, others to brown. Some to slim, others to stocky. Some to blondes, others to brunettes. Just the idea that men and women are drawn to varied physical traits shows the glorious creativity of God and the complexity of the human mind that we’ll never fully understand.

As we mature, we learn to look beyond the window dressing and into the heart—or at least we should. It takes time to discover what lies beneath the surface of a handsome exterior. But there is always that mysterious physical attraction that catches the eye.

So back to the why.  Why is there the attraction between the opposite sexes? . . . God put it there. God fashioned man and woman to be attracted to one another, and that attraction extends to all our senses—what we taste, smell, hear, touch, see, and what we perceive lies beneath the physical appearance.

from Lovestruck