Month: September 2020

‘He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross.’ Colossians 2:14-15(NLT)

One last thing: Not the things we bring into the marriage, or the things done against us, but the things we continually do in the current marriage.

It’s in those moments, especially early on in the marriage, you realize the first year of marriage is very much a crucible. Two lives completely thrown together in all areas (financial, creatively, job wise, sexuality, and more) there is bound to be friction. And in that friction we are tempted to think the other person is the problem. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t happen with Alyssa and me.

Why doesn’t she just act more like me?

Why doesn’t she do it this way?

It all comes down to framework: If you believe marriage is to make you happy, then you will be severely disappointed. (Now, does marriage make you happy? It sure does for us! But that’s not the point of marriage.) And when you believe that, you argue and fight differently. If your personal happiness is paramount, then anything that impedes that, like all of your spouse’s differences from you, then you’ll push back against that.

What if marriage isn’t meant to make you happy, but to make you holy?

And I don’t mean holy in the simplistic (actually false) definition of strict morality and whether or not you do this or don’t do that. Holiness by definition simply means “set apart, or sacred, or my favorite—different.” 

And so in some ways you can say, marriage is about making you different.

Or another way to put it is, marriage is about making you look more like Jesus.

When you realize that you no longer see disagreements or differences or your spouse’s peculiarities as annoying or maddening, but instead see them as opportunities to actually grow into your true self—the image of God reflected to be more and more like Jesus.

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NLT)

One Wednesday morning I had my mom friends over for a Bible study, and the one leading that day, who was a bit older than us and had kids in high school, shared how she loves “submitting” to her husband. I laughed and made a remark under my breath, “Man, if only I could say the same thing.” And it hit me–how I wanted to take the reins, push Jeff aside, and assert myself as though I knew what was best.

The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart that morning and showed me how I was in the wrong. I realized that I can rejoice in submitting to Jeff, too, because God had blessed me with an incredible husband who loves Jesus and wants to lead our home. He wanted to have a vision for our family, to be present, to lead them with grace and truth.

God didn’t want Jeff to forcefully lead our family, to treat me like my opinion doesn’t exist; nor did He intend for me to argue with Jeff, or demean him every time I disagreed with him on a topic. He wants us to listen to each other, to work things out together, for me to trust Jeff because I can trust God working in him, and for Jeff to be sensitive to my intuitions and gracefully lead our home.

Jeff and I are a team. He doesn’t just make plans and not include me or expect me to automatically follow his every idea and thought. Rather, we run everything by each other, and if we’re on the same page, then it’s a go. God put us together, including our strengths, so we work together. But I realized that I could trust God working in Jeff to make the best decisions for our family, and enjoy working together instead of trying to push him aside. When we work in this rhythm, it is the best. It’s how God intended it.

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NLT)

How did I know Alyssa was the one? Because I married her. She became the one the minute I committed my life to her. I know it’s really unromantic, but Alyssa and I agree that we both could’ve married someone else and probably been totally happy and have had a great life.

It’s not about finding the mythical magical unicorn but about finding someone who will be a great partner for life. And frankly, “the one” doesn’t really make sense from a logical standpoint. All it would take is for one guy fifteen hundred years ago to marry the wrong person (not the one for him), and he would create an endless cycle all the way down to you and me since he married someone else’s “the one” and so on and so on. 

Though we don’t like to admit it, trying to find the one stalls growth in ourselves because our idea of the one essentially becomes whoever will make us change the least or whoever is so perfectly suited for us that we don’t need to grow, learn, or change.

It also crushes the other person because no one can carry that weight. People disappoint each other, hurt each other, and we all have struggles and sins. Viewing another person as your savior is a crushing calling. Only Jesus can handle the weight of that burden, and when we understand the weight of our expectation, it frees us and the other person to become who God wants us to be. 

In God’s providence, there is a certain level of weaving and moving and bringing two people together. If you’re not already married, it’s possible God has someone for you who you might not even know yet. So we have to be careful. Alyssa and I have seen people justify divorce because, well, their spouse just “wasn’t the one.” For Alyssa and me, it was actually incredibly freeing when we realized that there were plenty of people we could have married, but we chose each other. That’s what matters.

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional

‘For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.’ Psalms 84:11(NLT)

My husband, as wonderful as he is, does not complete me or fill my heart. I  enjoy him, and I love doing life with him, but ultimately the Lord is the one  who satisfies every part of my soul. The Lord fills me with joy. The Lord knows my every thought and word and movement. He alone is the Lover of my soul. And at the end of the day, whatever happens or wherever your heart may be, you can rest knowing that you are deeply loved, cherished, and wanted by the King of kings. He knows all of you, every part, and loves you more than you will ever fathom, more than you can ever comprehend and more than anyone else ever will.

 

And as you wait on Him, you can have His hope be the anchor of your soul.  The hope that He is with you, He wants you, He desires you, He is for you, and He is working on your behalf. The hope that He hears you, He is in  control, and that He is good. I cling to Psalm 84:11: “The Lord our God is a  sun and shield; He gives grace and glory. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” . . .

 

 Likewise, God is giving you what is best in this very moment. You can trust  His good work in your life. God is writing a good story just for you. It’s your story. It doesn’t look like anyone else’s story. It’s unique, and set apart and beautiful. Even if it doesn’t feel beautiful, or is not what you would have written, it’s good and if you let Him, He will bring you into joy that you never thought possible, and that people will see and say, “Wow, your God is amazing!”

 

 But let’s be honest: we don’t always find ourselves in that place, do we?  Often we live with unmet dreams and desires—whether it’s for a season, a really long season, or the whole time we’re on this side of heaven. . . . For some, he wants to teach you that you don’t need to put your life on pause until you’re married—because that might never happen. You can live your life now. God has hopes and dreams and plans for you as a single person, not just as a married person. Marriage isn’t the finish line, Jesus is.

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional

‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. ‘ Genesis 1:1(NLT)

‘But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.’ 1 John 4:8(NLT)

We are lovesick and love diseased. Our views of romance, sexuality, dating, and marriage are killing us. We’ve been infected for years and hadn’t realized it. It almost killed me in high school and stayed with me in college, like shrapnel in my soul that I’m still plucking out and finding healing for. Nothing has caused me more pain, grief, and hurt than previous relationships and my pursuit of love. . . .

The reason love, romance, and sexuality feels so right, even when it’s wrong, is because we were created for it. Even the distortions hold an element of truth; that’s what a distortion is, an alteration of the original. But there’s more. So much more. God doesn’t want to take away our joy; He wants to give us more of it. He doesn’t want to take away our sexual desire; He wants to give us the context in which it works the best. God doesn’t want us to hate romance; He wants to introduce us to the greatest love story of all time.

In order to realize where we went so wrong, we first need to see where it was all so right. Where this intoxicating intimacy and love comes from in the first place.

In the first couple of words of Scripture, an assumption is made: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth,” which implies that before those things were created, God still was, and is, and is to come. He was there before anything. And immediately we get a hint as well at the divine mystery that is the Trinity. He says, “Let us make man in our own image,” implying a plurality, yet at the same time we see the obvious singularity of this Creator. It takes a while for the Scriptures to fully unpack this beautiful truth, but in doing so we can read backward and see from that very moment God is and always has been an endless cycle and circle of love. The perfect picture of three persons yet oneness—the Father, the Son, and the very Spirit of God—eternally surrendering and submitting and exalting one another. So when God says let Us make man in Our image in Genesis 1, that means humans are actually born out of the overflow of God’s very own image. We are born out of that. And whatever we are created out of, also is what we were created for.  

from Love That Lasts 5-Day Devotional