Month: September 2020

‘Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.’ Philippians 4:7(NLT)

‘Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. ‘ Hebrews 12:14(NLT)

You can’t take a road trip if you don’t have the keys to your car. You could walk, but you wouldn’t get very far, and the journey would be harder than it needed to be because you wouldn’t be using the tools available to you. Without the proper tools, you would be working harder, but gaining fewer results. Keys are a necessity if you’re going to travel easily and go further.

Consistency is the key to having a good marriage. Without consistency, anything we do or say will not have the same effect because it will not be fully received. Just like going on a road trip with no keys, having a marriage without consistency is doing double the work with less result. It just makes things harder for no reason at all.

Consistency is the place where trust and peace are established and where they will thrive. According to Google being consistent means acting or doing something in the same way over time, unchanging in nature or standard. Let’s focus on the “over time” part of this definition for just a moment. 

Trust and peace are two things that are established over time. You don’t just wake up one day and fully and completely trust someone and that includes your spouse. Trust and peace start to form the moment you meet someone and continue to form over time as actions are done the same way.

If you want to accomplish something big, you have to make small consistent choices. 

Small consistent choices over time create big results.

By choosing life-giving words, over time, you can build trust and peace in your marriage. By doing what you say you will do over time, trust and peace can be established. By showing up every day and doing your best over time, trust and peace can be established.

Consistency doesn’t mean the absence of mistakes; it just means the presence of your best effort. Will you make mistakes? Absolutely, but when you are consistent in trying your best those mistakes won’t break your relationship. 

If you want to take a road trip you have to get in your car and drive each mile. If you want there to be peace and trust in your marriage, you must get up every day and make those consistent small decisions that will add up over time.

Pray then Act

What are some areas in your marriage where you need to be consistent? What small decisions do you need to start making today?

Adventure Awaits! Let’s go!

Prayer

Father, I need peace and trust in my marriage—your peace that passes all understanding. I know the only way I will have it is by making consistent decisions every day that will build peace and trust in my marriage. Help me today and every day to make good decisions that will establish that peace. 

Actions

Make a small decision today that will bring peace and trust into your marriage. Continue to make that same small decision every day.

from A Beautiful Adventure Marriage by Alex & Tara Payne

‘I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt. ‘ Exodus 6:7(NLT)

‘Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. ‘ 1 Corinthians 6:18(NLT)

‘Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.’ Hebrews 13:4(NLT)

Faithfulness and loyalty are fleeting character traits these days. People say their vows, and, in some cases, they never intend on keeping them. They are just words to be repeated but hold no promise or commitment. At the first sign of trouble they throw in the towel on the relationship. This is not how it was meant to be.

Our marriages are meant to show the love Christ has for His bride—the husband leading the wife and loving her unconditionally and the wife submitting to her husband by respecting and honoring him. It is a commitment between one man and one woman. You are saying you choose this one person to spend your life together.

If you go back to the Old Testament you will see where God chose the children of Israel to be His people. God chose them just like we choose the person we marry, and then He spoke a vow over them that He would never leave them or forsake them. Basically, it was a marriage ceremony. He made a vow to be faithful and loyal. 

Ever since He made that covenant with her, He has been doing everything with the intention of drawing His bride to Himself. Even when she was acting a fool. He never left her. He never picked another bride. He remained and still remains faithful to her. That’s some amazing love. 

That is also some great news for us. When we get saved, we become a part of this beautiful love story. We become the bride of Christ which means His faithfulness is now extended to us. He has never walked away from His bride, which means He will never walk away from us! 

So, what should we do with this great loyalty and faithfulness we have been given? We should show great loyalty and faithfulness to our spouse. Our spouses should know we are committed to them. We are not going to walk away or give up at the first sign of trouble. We will fight for them and our marriages! 

By remaining faithful and loyal to our spouses we are showing them the love of the Father. We are showing them they are the one for us. The only one! 

Pray then Act

Have you fully committed to the vows you took on your wedding day? What are some ways you can show faithfulness and loyalty to your spouse today? Does your spouse know you are committed to only them?

Adventure Awaits! Let’s Go!

Prayer

Father, thank you for Your faithfulness. You have promised us in Your Word that You will never leave us or forget about us. Help me today to show that same faithfulness and loyalty to my spouse. Help me never to give up on them or our marriage.

Actions

Find a way today to recommit to your spouse. You could rewrite or renew your vows, or it could be as simple as telling them, “I choose you, and I will continue to choose you every day.”

from A Beautiful Adventure Marriage by Alex & Tara Payne

‘The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”’ Luke 10:27(NLT)

‘Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?’ Proverbs 5:15-20(NLT)

I chased a bear into the woods . . .

Now, when I say I chased a bear, I mean I loudly and passionately chased a bear in the mountains of Tennessee. Let me paint a picture for you.

We were on vacation with friends and were driving back to our cabin. The sun was very bright. We were all talking when Alex turned the corner and the sun blinded him. I looked up and crossing the street was a black bear. My brain processed what it was, but I couldn’t get the word “bear” out of my mouth, so I start screaming like a crazy person. One of our friends saw it and yelled, “Bear!” Alex stops the car, and I go running down the street after this bear. With all the commotion the bear retreated into the woods. At the tree line, I dropped to my knees with arms extended as I violently scream, “COME BACK BEAR!” 

The bear took off never to be seen again!

The next morning, when Jesus and I were spending time together, He took me off guard when He asked me this question.

“What if you chased after Me and your husband like you chased that bear?”

What if I search for Jesus and my husband in this passionate way? What if I were that passionate about them? What if I were that relentless in my pursuit of them? What if I were that loud and wild about Jesus and my husband? What would my relationship with them be like if my pursuit looked like my pursuit of that bear?

What would other marriages look like if both spouses pursued the Lord and each other with that much intensity? 

I believe we would see this world change in unimaginable ways. I believe we would see marriages change in unimaginable ways.

We can make passionately pursuing our spouses a part of our daily lives. We can do this in many ways. 

Pursue your spouse by speaking well of them. Compliment them and tell them often you love them. 

Pursue your spouse by bragging on them when they do something good and encouraging them daily.

Pursue your spouse in intimate ways. Sex is a gift that we get to enjoy in marriage.

There are many ways you can pursue your spouse; just make sure you do so daily and passionately! 

Pray then Act

Are you passionately pursuing your spouse? Are you showing them love every day? 

Adventure Awaits! Let’s Go!

Prayer

Father, my spouse is a gift. A good gift you have given to me to enjoy. Help me to find ways every day to pursue them passionately.

Actions

Plan some alone time. It could be a night out on the town or a night in. Whatever you choose make the time as passionate as possible! 

from A Beautiful Adventure Marriage by Alex & Tara Payne

‘“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.’ Matthew 6:14-15(NLT)

‘Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!’ Matthew 18:21-22(NLT)

We are imperfect people. We all make mistakes—some intentionally, some accidentally. Forgiveness is something we all need to extend and receive pretty much daily, especially in marriage. 

When you first meet the one you’re going to marry, things are perfect. They’re perfect. You’re perfect. Everything is perfect. During that period forgiveness seems unnecessary, doesn’t it? Why would we ever need forgiveness? Everything is perfect! 

As time goes on, and you get married you start to realize all the things that were perfect to begin with aren’t actually perfect. Things get forgotten; hurtful words get spoken; and feelings get hurt. 

I would say the majority of the time hurting each other isn’t what was intended, but again, we’re two imperfect people doing life together—it happens. Regardless of the what, when, where, and how behind the conflict, forgiveness is necessary if any relationship is going to thrive and grow!

I will be the first to make a confession. There are times forgiveness is hard! 

At this moment, you may have a particular situation regarding your spouse in your brain, and you may be thinking of a hundred different reasons why forgiveness isn’t an option for you. However, forgiveness is not an option we have been given but a command from a Heavenly Father who loves us and knows what is best for us. 

One reason forgiveness seems hard is because we have the wrong idea of what forgiveness actually is. We have an enemy who likes to distort the true meaning of things, so we have problems with them. He has done a great job distorting the definition of forgiveness.

He tells us forgiveness is a feeling. We should only forgive our spouses when we “feel” like forgiving our spouse. He tells us forgiveness is conditional. When our spouse begs for forgiveness or has a good day, then we can reward them with forgiveness. He tells us forgiveness is impossible and that there are certain things which are simply unforgivable—all lies from an enemy who wants to see our marriages destroyed.

Here is the deal: forgiveness is essential. It is a choice you make and a grace you both need to extend and receive. You can’t have a happy marriage if one or both of you are holding on to some wrong or hurt feelings. Forgiveness and the acceptance of forgiveness must be actively pursued to make a marriage work.

Pray then Act

Is there something you need to forgive your spouse for today? Is there something you are holding on to that you need to let go of? 

Adventure Awaits! Let’s Go! 

Prayer

Father, Your Word tells us to forgive and keep on forgiving. Help me to make forgiveness a daily part of my marriage. I forgive my spouse today and will not let forgiveness ruin this adventure.

Action

Now that you have forgiven your spouse, walk it out. Do not bring the offense back up. It is in the past; continue forward.

from A Beautiful Adventure Marriage by Alex & Tara Payne

‘So Elijah went and found Elisha son of Shaphat plowing a field. There were twelve teams of oxen in the field, and Elisha was plowing with the twelfth team. Elijah went over to him and threw his cloak across his shoulders and then walked away. Elisha left the oxen standing there, ran after Elijah, and said to him, “First let me go and kiss my father and mother good-bye, and then I will go with you!” Elijah replied, “Go on back, but think about what I have done to you.” So Elisha returned to his oxen and slaughtered them. He used the wood from the plow to build a fire to roast their flesh. He passed around the meat to the townspeople, and they all ate. Then he went with Elijah as his assistant.’ 1 Kings 19:19-21(NLT)

‘“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”’ Matthew 19:4-6(NLT)

Marriage is a beautiful adventure. However, if we are going to go on this adventure and be happy, we have got to get rid of our contingency plan. Turning back or giving up must be completely off the table. If we say we are all in, then it needs to mean that we are indeed all in! Why is this decision so important? 

When you commit to something completely, with no intention of quitting, it forces you to make it work. There is no other option.

In 1 Kings we find Elisha working in a field. He is plowing 12 acres of land and is on his last acre. This was not a hobby for him. This was his livelihood. He was working on a big project and was almost finished when Elijah comes and offers him an adventure of a lifetime. 

What Elisha does next is mind-blowing. Not only does he accept the offer, but he also shows that he is all in by burning the plow and killing the oxen. There is no way this prophet thing can’t work now because Elisha doesn’t have anything to fall back on. Even if he quits and comes back home there is nothing there for him to pick back up. 

He literally throws a farewell BBQ to his old lifestyle and sets off to make this new adventure work. He got rid of his contingency plan. He was going to be a prophet and that is exactly what happened. Not only did he become a prophet, but he also performed double the miracles that Elijah, his mentor, performed. I believe his success as a prophet can be traced back to the “all-in” decision he made.

We need to have this same “all-in” moment with our marriages. According to Google, roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce. That is a staggering number. 

So how do we help this percentage to go down? We don’t get divorced! We need to burn the plow of divorce and move forward knowing this is our only option. There is something very freeing in making the decision to be all in. When you decide divorce is completely off the table, it takes the stress off your marriage. 

You can focus only on making it work.

Pray then Act

Are you ready to get rid of your contingency plan? Are you ready to go all in? 

Adventure Awaits! Let’s Go!

Prayer

Father, help us to commit fully to our marriage. Divorce is no longer an option for us. We want to go all in! You have joined us together, and we are excited about the beautiful adventure in front of us!

Action

Take the word “divorce” completely out of your vocabulary.  

from A Beautiful Adventure Marriage by Alex & Tara Payne