Month: September 2020

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 8

‘The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.’ Lamentations 3:22-23(NLT)

It is not like Christ to keep bringing up mistakes and failures from the past. It is however, like Satan.

•••

Jesus takes delight in you. He loves you! His mercies are new every morning. He embraces you today. Satan, however, reminds you of all the times you’ve messed up and he tries to haunt you with the past. Satan brings up your mistakes and tries to make you feel ashamed and unworthy. It is so important to ask yourself who you are reflecting in your marriage. Are you embracing today with your spouse, or are you focused on what went wrong yesterday? Ask God each morning to help you reflect His love and forgiveness in your marriage.

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 7

‘He went inside and asked, “Why all this commotion and weeping? The child isn’t dead; she’s only asleep.” The crowd laughed at him. But he made them all leave, and he took the girl’s father and mother and his three disciples into the room where the girl was lying. Holding her hand, he said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means “Little girl, get up!” And the girl, who was twelve years old, immediately stood up and walked around! They were overwhelmed and totally amazed. Jesus gave them strict orders not to tell anyone what had happened, and then he told them to give her something to eat.’ Mark 5:39-43(NLT)

If you can’t think of a single reason to stay with your spouse, remember that Jesus went to the Cross for you when you were useless to Him. He kept His covenant with you when you didn’t give Him a single reason to.

•••

Do you feel like your marriage is hanging on by its last strand? Like the rope that once held you together has unraveled, and you are not sure how much longer it will hold? Despite what you may think, or what Satan may be telling you, it is not a lost cause! We serve a God of restoration and redemption. Stop looking at that unraveled rope and gaze upon our miracle working God. If there are people in your life speaking negativity over your marriage and pointing your attention to the unraveled rope, it’s time to remind them, and yourself, that if Jesus can resurrect a dead person, He can resurrect a dead marriage. God loves you and He loves your marriage. He longs to see unity in your marriage even more than you do. Your marriage is not a joke to Him and is not something He takes lightly. Hang in there and cling to God’s word and His faithfulness. He is fighting for your marriage. 

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 6

‘Come, everyone! Clap your hands! Shout to God with joyful praise! For the Lord Most High is awesome. He is the great King of all the earth. He subdues the nations before us, putting our enemies beneath our feet. He chose the Promised Land as our inheritance, the proud possession of Jacob’s descendants, whom he loves. Interlude God has ascended with a mighty shout. The Lord has ascended with trumpets blaring. Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises! For God is the King over all the earth. Praise him with a psalm. God reigns above the nations, sitting on his holy throne. The rulers of the world have gathered together with the people of the God of Abraham. For all the kings of the earth belong to God. He is highly honored everywhere.’ Psalms 47:1-9(NLT)

One thing we have learned is that it is really fun to be super silly with each other. To laugh and to cause laughter. But most of all to choose joy when Satan is screaming the opposite.

•••

Today is the day to dance in the kitchen. To go on a walk and call a race to the next stop sign. To have fun! Today is the day to choose joy. Satan is always trying to get us offended, fearful, stressed out, worried, and anything else that will pull us away from enjoying time with our spouse. But it is so necessary as children of God to rest in His promises and enjoy every day life. God is good, and we can count on Him to take care of things that we can’t. Choose joy today because your hope is in God. Don’t look at circumstances, look at your spouse and most of all look at your God. Remember that today is a blessing and make it a good one. 

Choose joy today!

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 5

‘Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord .” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude’ Psalms 32:5(NLT)

There should never be anything you have to hide from your spouse. You, and everything you do, should be an open book to them.

•••

You should be someone that your spouse can completely trust 100% with no reservation. There should be nothing in the dark corners of your mind that aren’t brought into the light before your spouse and God. There should be nothing that you feel needs to be hidden. If there is, it’s probably because Satan has convinced you that it should be, because breakthrough is on the other side of your honesty. The truth isn’t always easy to accept or to confess, but it is always worth it. Let today be the day that if there is anything hidden, it is brought into the light. Ask God to lead you and help you live a life with no secrecy in your marriage. Gut level honesty brings a sense of freedom to be who you are and to feel accepted and loved. 

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 4

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ‘ Jeremiah 29:11(NLT)

The future is a stranger, but if the two of you focus on the One who holds your future then neither of you will have to worry about what it may hold. 

•••

Fear… Whew… Fear is such a liar yet is sometimes so easy to believe. It is so easy to freak out when the finances don’t amount to the bills. Or when a loved one is really sick. Or when the car breaks down. Or when ________… You fill in the blank. There are so many different circumstances and situations that pull us towards fear. Fear is always trying to creep its way into our lives and into our marriages. However, we serve a God that is far more worthy of our attention and energy than those lies that are trying to cripple us and put strains on our marriages. Today is the day to turn your worry into praise and thank God that you have nothing to worry about. Thank Him that you can literally trust Him with everything, and tell Satan that you’re not buying his lies. 

If fear tries to stress you out today, before you allow it to control you, ask yourself if God is stressed out about it. He isn’t, because He already has a plan. 

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 3

‘We love each other because he loved us first.’ 1 John 4:19(NLT)

Do you put effort into being sweet, kind, patient, soft toned, etc.? If not, maybe you should try it today and the rest of your days. 

•••

What does your spouse love? Coffee? Tea? Hamburgers? Tacos? Walks? Board games? Take note of those things and go out of your way for them. Fix them a cup of coffee. Take a walk with them. Choose a something to do that shows them that you care, and that your relationship is not based on convenience but rather on the fact that you desire to serve them. Kindness isn’t always convenient, but it’s always worth it… especially in marriage. Hold hands in the car. Give a kiss when you arrive, another when you’re leaving, and many in between. Give a long hug. Give a massage. Be present. 

How can you go out of your way to be kind today? 

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 2

‘Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.’ Psalms 34:14(NLT)

If you see a problem in your marriage, you don’t stop participating in your marriage, you stop participating in the problem.

•••

Sometimes it is easy to draw back and not communicate when we are frustrated with our spouse. It’s easy to listen to that little voice telling us, “Well I’m just not going to talk because ______.” You fill in the blank. However, speaking up and having those hard conversations is sometimes the key to not having the same frustration about the same situation again. If you want to read 1 Corinthians 13 before approaching your spouse about something that is bothering you, do it. But don’t dust it under the rug and hope that it cleans itself up. Have the attitude that you will do whatever it takes and have whatever conversation that needs to be had before you allow it to keep your marriage from thriving and being at it’s full potential.

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

31 Day Marriage Reset – Day 1

‘So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ‘ James 4:7(NLT)

The most guaranteed way to turn your marriage away from destruction is to choose to turn yourself away from sin.

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It is so important in marriage to remember that sin is not just avoiding those big, “no nos.” Sin is disobedience, too. It’s not just avoiding things like adultery, it is also ignoring the voice and nudges of God. If God whispers for you to hug your spouse and tell them that you love them, in the middle of a difficult conversation or disagreement, and you refuse that is sin for you. If God tells you to send a text message saying that you’re sorry and your pride gets in the way, that is sin for you.  Satan would never tell you to be kind and forgiving towards your spouse, so when you feel those prompts, thank God for looking out for your marriage and obey Him. 

from 31 Day Marriage Reset

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Devotion for Men Devotion for Women Step Father-mother ZZ

It’s never too late

‘So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart. ‘ Genesis 6:6(NLT)

We waited with anticipation as the last kernel popped in the popcorn bag. We emptied the contents into a bowl, grabbed our drinks, and moved into the living room for movie night.

Instead of the latest family-friendly blockbuster, this week we decided to watch old videos of the kids. The evening started well enough, but halfway through I began to notice a problem. While our daughter’s life was well documented, our son’s was not. 

As the evening progressed, he began to look like a minor supporting actor in the story of her life. Where were the videos of his first steps, or of me reading to him in his room?

I began to lament all the missed opportunities and hoped that he didn’t notice the discrepancy. As the second child, we simply didn’t give him as much attention. 

Our children grow quickly. It is hard to be a parent without harboring some regrets. We could have read more stories, gone to more games, done more family devotionals, laughed more, and yelled less. Looking back, it is easy to second-guess ourselves and feel we could have done better.

This guilt is amplified every time one of our kids makes a bad decision. Parents often feel great guilt over their kid’s lifestyle choices. We start to wonder, could their bad behavior be our fault? But we need to keep in mind that even if we could have managed to be the perfect parents, there are still no guarantees. Our kids might not make good choices. They are, after all, choices. 

God is a perfect Father, lovingly balancing mercy with justice. Yet despite His perfection, His children choose to rebel against Him all of the time. Despite our tendency to rebel, God continues to pursue us, and we can do the same with our children.

If you have regrets over your parenting or the decisions your children have made, you can take some comfort in knowing that you are not responsible for your child’s decisions. All we can do is point our children in the right direction, and it’s never too late to make amends.

Start by praying for your children. If you need to apologize to them for mistakes you have made, do so. Then find ways to reinsert yourself into their lives.

My son was a teenager when I finally started reading to him at night. Two years and 12 novels later, it’s become one of his favorite times of the day. 

No matter how old your kids are, there is still time.

Pray: Lord, thank You for the gift of this day. Show me how I can use it to draw closer to my child, and help my child draw closer to You.

from Like Arrows

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Devotion for Men Devotion for Women Step Father-mother ZZ

But Why?

‘My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord , and you will gain knowledge of God.’ Proverbs 2:1-5(NLT)

 “But why?”

All parents will eventually be faced with this question. In their full form, these words are often accompanied by sad eyes, a quivering lip, and a voice on the edge of a meltdown. We might try to assuage our children with carefully thought out explanations. We might even quote Bible verses, but the more we talk, the worse the situation gets. 

Sometimes it seems our words are going over our kid’s head. That’s because they probably are. Young brains are not developed enough to be able to process all of our reasons. Often, the emotions surrounding being told “no” are so strong, they cannot hear anything else.

Yet, even if our children manage to keep their composure, parenting young kids via negotiation doesn’t end well. It gives far too much power to the child. By the time the teenage years come along, we will have already negotiated away most of our parental rights.

Children need to be taught to obey us, even if they don’t agree with us. “Because I said so,” is a valid response at times. This is called positional authority—they listen and obey because you are the parent. This is similar to authority that a teacher or police officer would have in your child’s life. They obey first and ask questions later.

Exercising positional authority is important to establish, but parents can get into trouble if they rely solely on positional authority throughout the entirety of their child’s development. It can also be problematic for another close family member, like a stepparent, who by nature of the blended relationship, often has less positional authority than they realize. 

As children get older, they need to slowly be invited into the decision-making process. Without relinquishing your authority, begin to expose them to your logic. Help them to understand the “why” behind your decisions. When you do this, your goal becomes less about securing their compliance, and more about teaching them to make good decisions themselves. Slowly, they choose to listen to you, not because you make them, but because they trust you and agree with your logic. 

The next step is to give them the freedom to fail in order to test and examine their own “whys.” It can be scary, but by allowing them to experience the natural consequences of some poor choices when they are young, they can avoid much more serious consequences later in life.

When our children can embrace our “why,” it makes the task of releasing them much easier because we can be sure of the direction they are headed.

Pray: Lord, help me stay close to You so that the “why” that I teach my children is really Your “why.”

from Like Arrows