Month: September 2020

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Kingdom Marriage – Day 4

‘Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.’ Ephesians 6:11-17(NLT)

‘We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. ‘ 2 Corinthians 10:3-5(NLT)

In the movie Batman Begins, the villain Ra’s Al Ghul hid his true identity. He does this because he knows that he can do more damage, he can cause more chaos, he can destroy more lives when he works in secret. Batman was chasing the wrong villain. It isn’t until late in the movie when Batman figures out who the real enemy is, fights him and achieves victory.

Satan operates the same way. He is most effective when he works behind the scenes. He would love for others get the credit for the chaos that he causes. He would love for you to believe that he doesn’t exist because then you would think the real villain is your spouse. When marriages get chaotic, one spouse typically blames the other. That’s exactly what the devil wants. Basically, when you view your spouse as the enemy and disregard Satan as the true villain, you are getting duped! And when this happens, you will react to your spouse negatively instead of realizing that Satan is trying to destroy God’s plan for your marriage. 

You must realize that Satan wants to destroy your marriage. Not just for the sake of ruining it, but because by dismantling it, he’ll also demolish your legacy. He doesn’t just want your marriage; he wants your family. He wants your children and grandchildren to come from broken marriages so that the faith won’t get passed on. 

If you don’t make the spiritual connection to everything that happens in your marriage, you will continue to fight the wrong battle. It’s not a physical war, but a spiritual one. And you will only experience victory in your marriage when you fight with spiritual weapons. In other words, put on and use the full armor of God. God makes these spiritual weapons available, but He won’t force you to use them. In your marriage, you must do battle God’s way, with His armor, against an enemy who is seeking to wreck it.

How can you and your spouse fight Satan together instead of fighting each other in your marriage?

from Kingdom Marriage

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

Kingdom Marriage – Day 3

‘“Therefore, obey the terms of this covenant so that you will prosper in everything you do. ‘ Deuteronomy 29:9 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/DEU.29.9

‘Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord ’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.’ Malachi 2:13-14 https://my.bible.com/bible/116/MAL.2.13-14

‘A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.’ Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT)

A young girl was playing with her grandmother’s hands one day when she suddenly stopped to examine her grandmother’s wedding ring. After a few minutes, she asked her grandmother why the ring was so large and heavy. It was nothing like the thinner more delicate rings she saw. The grandmother smiled and said, “Because back when I got married, rings were made to last.”

One reason so many couples turn in their rings is because they view marriage as a contract. A contract is a conditional agreement between two or more persons signifying that all parties will do something. Contracts get made for limited periods of time and are based on “if, then” statements. “If they do this, then I’ll do that.” People enter into contracts because of what they’ll get out of them. When they no longer receive what they want, or if they find a better-looking option, then they will justify terminating it. 

However, the Bible doesn’t describe marriage this way, but defines it as a covenant. A covenant is a divinely created bond meaning it is permanent. It has rules, responsibilities and benefits. Covenants are intimate relationships initiated for the benefit of the other person. In it, the good of the relationship takes precedence over the needs of the individual. This is why covenants make unconditional promises. Basically, it’s where God makes something official in the spiritual realm to be lived out in the physical world. After all, the wedding vows are made “before God” and therefore with God as well as the spouse. To break the covenant with your spouse is to break it with God.

When a husband and wife live out a covenantal marriage instead of contractual terms, they will receive a covering. It’s like an umbrella. When it’s raining, the umbrella doesn’t stop the rain, but stops it from raining on you.

Living under God’s covering won’t stop the challenges in your marriage, but those challenges won’t affect you same way they normally would if you weren’t underneath His covering. 

How can you begin relating to your spouse on covenantal terms?

from Kingdom Marriage 

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Kingdom Marriage – Day 2

‘The Lord has made the heavens his throne; from there he rules over everything. Praise the Lord , you angels, you mighty ones who carry out his plans, listening for each of his commands. Yes, praise the Lord , you armies of angels who serve him and do his will! Praise the Lord , everything he has created, everything in all his kingdom.’ Psalms 103:19-22(NLT)

‘The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world.’ Psalms 19:1-4(NLT)

‘For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.’ Romans 11:36(NLT)

‘So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ‘ 1 Corinthians 10:31(NLT)

The term kingdom marriage assumes there is a kingdom. If there is a kingdom, then the assumption is there is a king. If there is a king, then the assumption is there are subjects over which the king rules. And finally, if there are subjects in the kingdom, the assumption is there are rules that they must live by. So, when we say kingdom marriage, we are referring to marriage operating according to the kingdom. A specific kingdom. God’s kingdom. 

Throughout the Bible, the kingdom of God refers to His rule or authority. Another word that scripture uses to describe His rule is sovereignty. This simply means that God is absolutely in charge of everything, and His kingdom also has an all-encompassing purpose—for everything and everyone to bring Him glory. The unifying and central theme of the Bible is the glory of God expressed through the advancement of His kingdom. And since marriage falls under His kingdom, then we can conclude it also exists to bring Him glory.

However, humans constantly resist giving God glory. Creation displays the glory of God every day, just as He created it to do. But humans seem to want the glory for ourselves. We want to do things our way, not God’s way. So many believers struggle in their marriage because they want God to satisfy their desires through marriage rather than their marriage bringing Him glory. They are more concerned with happiness, companionship, finances, sexual gratification and a plethora of other benefits that marriage brings, all while forgetting God’s divinely ordained purpose. In other words, they want God to bless their agenda rather than seeking to follow His agenda. 

But not a kingdom marriage. When a husband and wife model a kingdom marriage to a watching world by the way they submit to His rule, they help advance God’s kingdom, and He is glorified.

In what ways have our contemporary culture shaped your marriage toward an agenda of self-fulfillment? 

from Kingdom Marriage

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Kingdom Marriage – Day 1

‘Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”’ Genesis 1:26-28(NLT)

‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”’ Genesis 2:18-23(NLT)

‘When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers— the moon and the stars you set in place— what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? Yet you made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor. You gave them charge of everything you made, putting all things under their authority—’ Psalms 8:3-6(NLT)

When a couple announces their engagement, most people want to hear “their story.” How did they meet? Was it love at first sight? Were they childhood sweethearts, or did they meet later in life? Whatever the case may be, a couple’s origin story intrigues us. 

Have you ever considered the origin story of marriage itself? If you want to have a healthy marriage, the first thing you must understand is that marriage is God’s idea. And because He created it, we must go to Him for its definition and understanding. This means that when your marriage, whatever its origin story, is brought under the rule of God, your relationship can flourish and become all that God intended it to be.

From Scripture, we discover that God created marriage to expand His kingdom in human history. A kingdom marriage is “a covenantal union between a man and a woman who commit themselves to function in unison under divine authority in order to replicate God’s image and expand His rule in the world through both their individual and joint callings.” That’s a mouthful, so you may want to go back and re-read it. But simply put, the mission of marriage is to replicate the image of God in history and to carry out His command to let mankind rule.

So, marriage is not merely a social construct. Nor is happiness its goal. This is one of the main problems that many marriages face today. Couples relate to marriage only through social and emotional terms. We must go back to the biblical understanding of marriage. God created it as a sacred covenant, with the responsibility to reflect His image and to advance His kingdom. Happiness is a benefit of marriage, but it is not the goal of marriage. The goal is to reflect God through advancing His kingdom on earth. Happiness occurs as an organic outgrowth when the biblical goal is pursued.

The bottom line is marriage is a kingdom concept, not just a social one.

How does making happiness the goal of marriage create problems in one’s marriage?  

from Kingdom Marriage

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

An Intimate Heart

‘And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’’ Mark 12:30(NLT)

‘Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? ‘ 2 Corinthians 6:14(NLT)

‘A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.’ Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT)

2 Cor. 6:14 (TLB) “Don’t be teamed with those who do not love the Lord, for what do the people of God have in common with the people of sin? How can light live with darkness?” It really does not make sense for believers to get attached to or marry unbelievers because it is God’s Presence in the marriage equation that unites and solidifies the union. The thrill is usually short-lived but the pain and sorrow lasts longer. 

The image included is to help you visualize the indispensable role of Jesus in the marriage equation. At the base of the triangle, the distance between the man and the woman is wide. But as the man and woman move closer to Jesus, the distance between them shortens. God’s ideal is for the man and the woman to become one with Christ. When this happens, the distance between them disappears. That is why God’s Word says in Eccl. 4:12 (TLB) “…a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Christ is the third person in the relationship and He unites and binds it together. 

If love is going to last I must listen with all my heart, I must forgive with all my heart, I must be humble with all my heart, and I must love God with all my heart. However, the truth is that none of us can do this by our own strength. We need God’s help. For people that have a challenge listening because they love the sound of their own voice, you need to ask God for help to listen with all your heart. Some of us need to ask the Lord to help us forgive with all our hearts and ask for the grace to be humble with all our hearts. Or perhaps your prayer today is to ask God for help to love Him with all your heart. The truth is none of us can do these things in our strength. Take loving God, for example, no one can come to God unless He draws him or her. The objective is to be one with Christ and then listening, forgiving, being humble, and loving becomes possible.

Prayer: Father, give me the grace to listen with all my heart, to forgive with all my heart, to be humble with all my heart, and to love You with all my heart, in Jesus’ Name. Amen!

from All My Heart

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

A Loving Heart

‘And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ ‘ Mark 12:30(NLT)

‘Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.’ Psalms 127:1(NLT)

Still on the thought; each time there is a space between you and the person you are in a relationship with and you are faced with the question, who should move. The answer is you. Now let us take this thought a step further, into God’s heart. What God wants is that both of you will become mature in God and will both collide with each other on the seat. That both of you will be so into your relationship that once there is a space in whatever area, you both will collide in the space moving to close the gap. Our marriages will be so beautiful if we just obey God. 

Marriage is one institution where two people have the golden opportunity of making themselves the happiest on earth. But in many cases, couples make themselves the most miserable people on earth. I said to my wife some time ago, “choose one; are we going to fight or are we going to be happy?” And she said, “let us be happy”. So we forgot about “the issues” and we closed the gap between us. Believe me, it is as simple as that. Human beings like to complicate things. I pray your marriage will be filled with happiness.

If love is to grow and love is to last in our relationships, we must listen with all our hearts, we must forgive with all our hearts, we must be humble with all our hearts, and we must Love God with all our hearts. I must love God with all my heart. You have to personalize this commitment because everyone must take responsibility for his or her actions in a relationship. I must love God with all my heart. Mark 12:30 “And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength” [with emphasis]. 

Marriage was and is still God’s idea. Marriage was not man’s idea. And the closer you get to God, the closer you would get to your spouse. Nothing else solidifies and sustains relationships like intimacy with God. If God is not the priority to the two people in a relationship, they can never be intimate. It is a mistake to think that as long as two people are together and they love each other, intimacy will happen. Anyone that has been married long enough will tell you that it does not work like that. The only thing that unites and solidifies is God. Psalm 127:1 [ERV] “If it is not the Lord who builds a house, the builders are wasting their time. If it is not the Lord who watches over the city, the guards are wasting their time.”

Prayer: Father, I declare in the Name of Jesus that I [say your name] will love the Lord, my God, with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind, and all my strength for all my days. Amen! 

from All My Heart

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A Submitted Heart

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5(NLT)

‘Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. ‘ Philippians 2:3(NLT)

Today, we will continue with the closing story from yesterday. It would do us a lot of good if we spend more time with our thoughts and more often too. That is why meditating on God’s Word is so powerful. Think about that. So the seat that was between the couple at the end of the pastor’s message was now filled and the question was, who moved? The answer is, the person that should move is the person that is closer to God. The person that should move is the person that remembers this Scripture – Phil.2:3 “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves”. 

The person that should move is the person that is more submitted to God. And in most cases, you would discover that that is the more spiritually matured person. Spiritual maturity has nothing to do with how frequent you are in church. Spiritual maturity is about being submitted to the authority of God’s Word. Imagine a Christian couple that whenever there is a dispute, the woman who is more frequent in church activities and speaks in tongues louder than her husband never apologizes. But the man is the one always apologizing. Who would you say is closer to God? 

The truth is, the person that yields to God is the more spiritually mature person, not the person that prays the loudest. Every time you ask yourself the question “who should move”, the answer is you! If your excuse for not moving is because you moved yesterday, then you have missed the point. If you are keeping score in marriage, you have already lost. But how many times should I move? You move every time there is space between both of you. 

Inevitably, over time, in your communication and in your intimacy there is going to be a seat between you. That is just how life is but the question is who should move? Will there be days when you both face different sides of the room and are tugging at the duvet? Of course! Every time you are faced with the question of who should move, the answer is you! 

Prayer: Precious Holy Spirit, mature me in love that is patient and kind, love that does not keep a record of wrong or is boastful. Help me have a truly submitted heart, in Jesus’ Name. Amen!

from All My Heart

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A Selfless Heart

‘Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. ‘ Philippians 2:3(NLT)

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4(NLT)

Selfishness is a huge destroyer. A person cannot be selfish and humble at the same time. It does not work that way. Selfishness is one of the major cankerworms destroying the fabric of relationships today. Phil.2:3 “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves”. Thinking of the other person as better than yourself does not mean you are not important. God’s Word is simply telling us to think of the other person as more important. 

Treat your wife or husband as more important than yourself. A practical expression of this would be, if you get home before your spouse and you discover that there is only one piece of meat left in the stew, you leave it for the other person. Husbands, if you can do this for your wife, she will bless you, and you will be greatly rewarded. I am not saying this should be your sole objective for being unselfish. Your relationships are not a transaction. God says “consider the other person as better than yourself”. 

It is good to do things for each other but we are also doing it because that is what God requires of you and I. And because God and His Word is the focus, you find that it really has nothing to do with what the other person does or does not do. While preaching, a pastor noticed that a certain couple that would normally sit with their arms around each other in church now had a seat in between them. And as God would have it, the pastor was preaching about 1Cor.13:4 “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud”. God worked on their hearts and by the time the pastor looked up the space between them was gone and they were holding each other again. The question is who moved – the man or the woman? I think that what matters most is not necessarily who moved, but that the space between them is gone. 

Prayer: Father, help me not to be selfish but rather be humble and think of others as better than myself. Help me to do the things You require of me, in Jesus’ Name. Amen!

from All My Heart

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1st Marriage 2nd Marriage ZZ

A Humble & Forgiving Heart

‘Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32(NLT)

If love is to last in our relationships, we must listen with all our hearts and forgive with all our hearts. In day two, we explained the difference between acceptance and forgiveness. However, some issues in marriage are actually forgiveness issues. Understand this; relationships are between two imperfect people. They are going to step on each other’s toes and say hurtful things sometimes. Someone is going to be careless and be outright nasty but God wants us to forgive. Not with a part of our hearts but with ALL of our hearts. God wants you to forgive all with all!

Eph.4:32 “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” [with emphasis]. After reading this scripture, I said to the Lord, can this Scripture be adjusted from “forgiving one another” to perhaps read, “not offending one another”. But God knows that we are imperfect people living in a broken world. God knows that it is impossible for us not to offend each other so He says to forgive. “Marriage is a union of two great forgivers” – Anon. You have to forgive and keep on forgiving. Make up your mind in advance to forgive no matter what and to forgive with all your heart.

For love to last, the third thing I must do is be humble with all my heart. You and I need to be unselfish with all our hearts because it is a subsect of being humble. Selfishness is a major destroyer of marriages. When two people in a marriage label things as ‘mine – do not touch!’, there are bound to be issues. The man decides to drink a cup of coffee and the wife insists he must not use her mug. Or the woman is eating her dinner and the man insists she must not use his spoon. As simple as that is, sometimes it can get worse because it magnifies selfishness. 

The painful thing is that even when you confront some people with their selfishness and try to help them see how it is destroying their relationship. Sometimes such people choose self over their relationships and the other person ends up hurt. Sometimes we think that because we are Christians and God hates divorce, we can do anything we want. It is plain foolish to live like that. If you insist on being selfish, you will terminate your marriage yourself. Selfishness is a huge destroyer; like a cankerworm.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, help me listen with all my heart, forgive with all my heart and be totally selfless in my relationships, in Jesus’ Name. Amen! 

from All My Heart

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An Accepting Heart

‘Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. ‘ Romans 15:7(NLT)

The second thing that you and I must do if love is to last in our relationships is we must forgive with all of our hearts. The challenge most times is we confuse acceptance with forgiveness. Acceptance is not forgiveness. There is a difference between acceptance and forgiveness. In every relationship, you can expect that there will be acceptance issues and there will be forgiveness issues. But you need to see an acceptance issue as an acceptance issue and a forgiveness issue as a forgiveness issue.

For instance, in a marriage relationship, the man repeatedly leaves the toilet seat up. Then his wife says to him, “I forgive you for not putting the toilet seat down”. That is not a forgiveness issue. It is an acceptance issue; sometimes he will remember to put the toilet seat back down but sometimes he would not. Just accept it! I like to squeeze my toothpaste tube from the bottom towards the outlet. But my wife just grabs the tube and squeezes it from the middle. I have tried to explain the importance of order even in things like the toothpaste tube. But that did not change anything. I chose not to get upset over toothpaste, so I went out to the store and bought two tubes of toothpaste – one for her and one for myself. 

I admit this is funny but the reality is these kinds of things have a way of getting under your skin in marriage. There was peace in the house for a while until one day I found my toothpaste tube squeezed from the middle. Then I decided to hide my toothpaste but then I grew tired of always having to wait for the coast to be clear before I access it. There is only one solution, accept it as your portion until you see Jesus. I had to admit to myself that it was an acceptance issue. 

Should your husband remember your birthday? Well yes, but he probably forgot because he was thinking hard about how to take care of you. Rom.15:7 “Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory” [with emphasis]. When we accept each other, God is glorified. So make up your mind to accept the other person and give God glory.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, help me to accept and forgive the people You have put in my life with all my heart, in Jesus’ Name. Amen!

from All My Heart