‘This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.’ 1 John 4:10-21(NLT)
We love God because God first loved us.
This may sound too mystical to be practical. Do we merely wait until some divine energy strikes us from the outside and makes us care about those for whom we previously gave no thought? We hear this sort of talk all the time, usually from those who have spent a week or two on some short-term mission trip. “God gave me such a love for the people!” they gush. Perhaps it is true. But it is more likely that they have simply mistaken the excitement of being in strange surroundings or the shock of seeing human need up close for something else. Certainly, they are affected, perhaps even strongly affected. They may feel a sense of pity. But what they are experiencing is the missional equivalent to puppy love. Whether their interest is genuine love can be demonstrated only in the long term after the glow of missional tourism has worn off. Love will prove itself when they learn to cope with all the tedious necessities of living life as strangers in a strange land after they have had full exposure to what seems to be rudeness or arrogance or condescension or outright disinterest.
Fortunately, the analogy of human experience to which Jesus points can help us learn the art of this divine love. God is indeed the source of this love, but it does not operate in some hidden mystical zone. The opportunities to show it and the forms that this love takes are ordinary. The observations of C. S. Lewis are helpful here. “In such a case the Divine Love does not substitute itself for the natural—as if we had to throw away our silver to make room for the gold,” he explains. “The natural loves are summoned to become modes of Charity while also remaining the natural loves they were.” We do not replace our ordinary love with something new that we have never experienced before. Instead, by the grace of God and through the empowerment of His Spirit, we place all our ordinary loves at God’s disposal. In this way, His love becomes the love that orders all our other loves. His love is the only love powerful enough to wean us away from our infatuation with ourselves.
With this in mind, the basic rule that Jesus lays when it comes to practicing love is simple to understand: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12). We do not dismiss our desires but allow them to be our guide by providing a mirror image. What would we want for ourselves, if the circumstances were reversed? Nothing could be simpler. It is the execution that poses the problem for us. We can see it easily enough but we often do not want to live by this rule. The corruption of our sinful nature further complicates matters. Often what we desire from others reflects our sinful self-centeredness, making it an untrustworthy guide for our own behavior. An honest evaluation of Jesus’ rule soon reveals that to follow it, we must say no to our desires. We do not need to deny that these desires exist. They are what they are, and Christ already knows that they exist. But we must often deny ourselves. Our mistake has been to believe the lie that we cannot live without the things we desire. This was the original lie that was sold to Eve by Satan. It is the lie that comes with every sinful lust that arises in our hearts.
from Love Restored by Dr. John Koessler