‘“Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.”’ Genesis 3:11-13(NLT)
‘“Our father is Abraham!” they declared. “No,” Jesus replied, “for if you were really the children of Abraham, you would follow his example.#8:39 Some manuscripts read if you are really the children of Abraham, follow his example. Instead, you are trying to kill me because I told you the truth, which I heard from God. Abraham never did such a thing. No, you are imitating your real father.” They replied, “We aren’t illegitimate children! God himself is our true Father.” Jesus told them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, because I have come to you from God. I am not here on my own, but he sent me. Why can’t you understand what I am saying? It’s because you can’t even hear me! For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. So when I tell the truth, you just naturally don’t believe me! Which of you can truthfully accuse me of sin? And since I am telling you the truth, why don’t you believe me? Anyone who belongs to God listens gladly to the words of God. But you don’t listen because you don’t belong to God.”’ John 8:39-47(NLT)
‘So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. ‘ Galatians 5:16-24(NLT)
Scripture: Genesis 3:11–13; John 8:39–47; Galatians 5:16–24
Like Adam and Eve, we believe the lies of the enemy—especially when it comes to problems in our marriage. But the more we feel forced to hide, the less we’re able to engage deeply with each other in marriage.
We believe that if our spouse knew what we had done in the past, for instance, or what we viewed online, or what we really believed about God, we wouldn’t be loved or respected. We may also try to justify our behavior based on lies: “He always goes out with his friends and spends money on whatever he wants. I don’t see why I can’t do the same.” “I don’t need to tell her who I’ve been talking to online. It would only cause a fight, and we are finally in a good spot.”
We can try to justify sin, but at the end of the day, God is still walking through the garden, calling out to us, and asking us who has been telling us we are “naked.”
Darkness and sin creep in slowly. They make us question everything, forcing our gaze horizontally—around us and our issues—rather than vertically, toward our Savior.
The small, seemingly harmless, choices we make in our marriage begin coming from a place of selfishness and entitlement. They cause division, and they erode our marriage covenant.
A life that is hiding in sin—ungoverned and without restraint—will bear fruit such as secret thoughts; division; disengagement; distraction; self-centeredness; selfishness about time, money, and energy; being overly concerned with appearances; no real sense of peace, because peace is based on relationships and things rather than God; impatience; impurity; using harsh language, employing gossip, and slandering others.
When we are walking in the light and we are living openly and transparently with our spouse while hidden in Christ, the motivation becomes less about our own needs and desires and more about our spouse’s needs and desires.
A life hidden in Christ bears life-giving fruit from the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (See Galatians 5:22–23).
Jesus came to give us freedom from our fleshly desires so that we can walk and live by the Spirit, which in turn produces fruit that yields life and brings glory to God.
What fruit, good or bad, do you see in your marriage right now?
from See-Through Marriage by Ryan and Selena Frederick