‘Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. ‘ Ephesians 4:2-3(NLT)
‘And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’ Ephesians 5:21-33(NLT)
Devotional Content:
The number one distraction for many marriages is raising kids. Children are a blessing and the desire of most married couples. But children can also be a distraction. They require time and energy and money. Raising children is a huge responsibility and consumes years of our lives. None of this is bad, unless it hurts our marriages. All too often when children are born, the focus shifts completely to them and off of the marriage. There has to be balance. Sure, lives and marriages change when children come into the family; but if you do not continue to nurture your marriage, you will find yourselves drifting further and further apart. Eventually the kids grow up and leave. If you have not nurtured your marriage, you may look at each other when the kids are gone and say, “Who are you?”
Nancy and I were married six years before we had kids. We had wanted kids for so long that I really do not think we had any idea how they would affect our lives. We soon learned that we had to carve out time for each other. If we did not, we would slowly drift apart. We did a couple of proactive things that really made a difference for us. First, we set a weekly date night and held it almost as sacred. Nothing got in the way of our date night. We arranged to have a babysitter, and Saturday nights we spent time together away from the kids. Second, we found time each day to connect without any interruptions. It was not easy to find that time, but it was essential. Some days it was only a few minutes, and other days we found more time. But we made it a priority.
We have made a lot of mistakes in our marriage, but this is one area where we got it right, and it made a difference. Now it is your turn. How will you keep nurturing your marriage while raising kids?
Today’s Challenge: Plan a date night for just the two of you this week.
Going Deepers:
1. Dr. Kim shares that even though raising kids is a tremendous blessing, it is also a tremendous responsibility and can be a huge distraction in marriage. The important thing is to continue to nurture the marriage relationship. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the best. How would you rate your intentionality with nurturing your marriage relationship?
2. What can you do this week to nurture your marriage?
3. Dr. Kim shares some practical ways you can nurture your marriage. List 2 of them here.
4. Sit down with your spouse this week and decide on 2 practical things you can start doing to nurture your marriage.
5. Ask 3 other married couples this week what they do to nurture their marriage. Getting ideas from others can help you find the best ways to focus on your marriage relationship.
from Distractions In Your Marriage – Part 1 by Dr. Kim Kimberling