‘Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ‘ James 1:19(NLT)
‘Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.’ Proverbs 29:11(NLT)
Do Not Judge Other
‘“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.
Effective Prayer
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
The Golden Rule
“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
The Narrow Gate
“You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.
The Tree and Its Fruit
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.
True Disciples
“Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’
Building on a Solid Foundation
“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, for he taught with real authority—quite unlike their teachers of religious law.’ Matthew 7:1-29(NLT)
A survey of more than 1,000 married couples found that husbands and wives don’t tend to talk about the same things.
The leading discussion subject for men is news events (talked about in the previous week by 71 percent of respondents), followed by work (68 percent).
Women, on the other hand, talked about food (76 percent) and health (72 percent).
Men were far more likely to have talked about sports (65 percent to women’s 42 percent) while women were more likely to have discussed personal problems (52 percent to men’s 40 percent).
Whatever the topic, however, we share one thing in common. Husbands and wives depend on communication to keep their relationship running. It is the lifeblood of every marriage. Couples who can’t communicate well, who don’t speak clearly and listen carefully, soon fall apart. It’s key to bridging the gender gap.
In the previous day’s reading, we explored communication in general, but how are you using it to bridge the inevitable gender gap that so many couples struggle with? If you were to rate your effectiveness in understanding each other as a man and a woman, on a scale of one to ten, how well are you doing? And what could help you do this better?
Another important question: How would you rate yourself when it comes to listening to your partner? Be honest as you talk to each other about this. What seems to distract you most (e.g., your phone) while you’re trying to have a conversation and why? More importantly, what will you do to minimize the distraction? After all: “The road to the heart is the ear,” wrote Voltaire. Carefully listening to your partner is the quickest path across the gender gap and it’s sure to engender more intimacy.
As you read these biblical passages, consider how they can inform your actions in this area.
from Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott