‘“Come, let us return to the Lord . He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds.’ Hosea 6:1(NLT)
‘Instead, let us test and examine our ways. Let us turn back to the Lord .’ Lamentations 3:40(NLT)
‘Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil; he will erase their memory from the earth. The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time. For the Lord protects the bones of the righteous; not one of them is broken! Calamity will surely destroy the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be punished. But the Lord will redeem those who serve him. No one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.’ Psalms 34:14-22(NLT)
I tried so hard and so long to fix the problem of porn in my marriage on my own. You name it, I tried it: being graceful, being hurt, being angry, even being more sexual. But nothing I did made any difference. I tried every piece of advice I was told, except the one that mattered.
Thankfully, in 1 Corinthians 6:18 we are given clear guidance on how to handle issues of sexual immorality.
“Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.”
God created us as sexual beings and knows under what circumstances we will thrive and flourish. He also knows what will happen to us, and those around us, when we stray outside his boundaries and pursue our own desires without limits. The boundaries that God has placed around our sexual behavior are not there to punish us but to protect us. The sooner you can get the porn out of your marriage, the sooner God can restore your husband back to his right mind, and restore the level of trust and intimacy in your relationship.
I get tremendously excited by the fact there are now over forty-five neurological studies that prove what the Word of God has been telling us all along. According to neuroscientists, watching porn literally hijacks the brain—creating addictive pathways, blocking pleasure receptors, and impairing the pre-frontal cortex. In a nutshell, porn use makes you increasingly dissatisfied, dumb, and depressed. The wages of sin are indeed death here on earth too.
As a precious child of a good and loving God who knows and desires what is best for your marriage, rest in the knowledge that you don’t have to figure this out on our own. Flee from sexual immorality by drawing a firm line in the sand. And remember, asking your husband to stop watching porn is not you enforcing your will on him, it’s drawing you both back under the wing of your heavenly Father.
He will cover you with his feathers;
you will take refuge under his wings.
His faithfulness will be a protective shield. (Psalm 91:4)
from Fighting for Love in a Porn Affected Marriage by Rosie Makinney