‘Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. ‘ Romans 12:10-14(NLT)
‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ‘ Genesis 2:18(NLT)
‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)
‘Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. ‘ Malachi 2:15(NLT)
I’ve spent the last thirty years observing thousands of couples and how they communicate with one another. What have I discovered about how couples communicate? When it comes to intimacy, one partner works hard to get it, and the other partner works hard to resist it.
It’s the same old communication problem that has plagued every couple since Adam and Eve: The woman presses for closeness, and the man resists her. She works her crowbar, and he keeps his clam shut. She tries to get him to open up and share, and he keeps everything inside.
I have a simple solution to the clam/crowbar predicament.
Have three thirty-minute Couple Talk Times each week. Each weekend sit down together and schedule these for the upcoming week. Talking about one topic in one sitting will never get you intimacy. Talking about one topic in three sessions, with both of you doing further processing in between settings, will get you intimacy.
I want you to believe and embrace something right now: Virtually all of your emotional intimacy will occur in these thirty-minute Couple Talk Times. You can connect in a conversation only when you escape life and its distractions. True connection happens only under these conditions.
from Honey, We Need To Talk