‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:18-25(NLT)
‘So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.’ Galatians 5:16-26(NLT)
‘The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord .’ Proverbs 18:22(NLT)
‘In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.’ 1 Peter 3:7(NLT)
Yesterday we discussed Genesis 2:18, that it is not good to be alone. There is a second truth in the scripture also: “I will make him a helper fit for him.” So the real question is this: what do we need help for or from?
We need help to be more like Jesus. Then why do we need a spouse? Why isn’t Jesus all we need? Jesus is all we need for salvation and for spiritual healing, but part of God’s divine plan was to use a spouse to refine us. Consider this truth: “God is always wanting to work something in us and out of us.” He is always wanting to work in humility by working out pride. God is always wanting to work in patience and perseverance by working out selfish ambitions and a controlling spirit.
For God to work in the “fruits of the Spirit,” he has to work out the “fruits of the flesh.” Your spouse is often how God will choose to accomplish this.
That’s right, marriage was designed by God to provide an environment where He could work in you and through you, often more than any other way. Prove it you say? Okay. Think of one single example where a couple loves each other and is impacting the lives of others around them for good … and I promise you, you will find love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, etc.
Please notice that I caveated my previous statement with “a couple who loves each other and is impacting others.” Unfortunately we all know at least one couple who is married but miserable. They aren’t walking in love and they aren’t impacting others for good. You want more for your marriage than to just “stick-it-out.” Besides, God created you and marriage for so much more.
So your husband leaves his dirty socks lying around, or maybe your wife’s car looks like she’s been living out of it. Instead of anger, frustration, and bitterness, let’s focus on patience, grace and mercy.
Now, I also realize that many of the issues you may be facing are much more grave than dirty socks. Infidelity, abuse, betrayal, or deceit in your marriage may just be scratching the surface. Please hear me, there is HOPE! My wife and I are living proof of what God can do in a marriage when you allow Him to work in you and through you.
Take a few moments and ask God, “What are you trying to work in me and out of me through my spouse?”
from True North: LIVE Free In Marriage