‘For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.’ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8(NLT)
Life comes with transition. Whether it’s a new job, new house, new child or grandchild and even something as small as a new hairstyle, we face change throughout our lives. Some of us are more adept at change. Others of us resist it. Some of us can adapt quickly. Others resist it. Some change brings positivity. Other change causes loss. If we were honest, even age changes us. There’s nothing we can do to avoid this inevitable aspect of life.
One thing that will never change about life and marriage is that there will always be change.
Understanding how to approach change emotionally, spiritually and mentally can allow transition to transform our marriage into something stronger and more viable than ever before. Contrary to popular belief, stress doesn’t have to be a negative thing. How you and your spouse view stress, as well as how you choose to respond to it, has everything to do with whether it leaves a positive or undesirable imprint on your home. God has gifted us with the ability to decide how we react to life’s transition.
Did you know that the muscles in your body become stronger during rest not during the workout, or the stress? What the stress on your muscles does is break down the muscle protein that exists in your body structure. But the actual development of stronger muscles takes place as your body rests. When your body has the opportunity to repair and replace the damaged muscle fibers by fusing muscle fibers together to create new myofibrils, it builds tougher, more resilient, muscles. A body builder who doesn’t take the time to respond to his or her workout through adequate rest will actually slow down the process of developing strength and endurance through greater muscle mass.
Likewise, how we respond to transitions and, even more importantly, how we allow our spouses to respond to transition will determine whether the stress of the transitions will strengthen us or, rather, weaken us over time. We must be willing to view the stress of transition as a developmental process and necessary part of life. We also must be willing to provide the space necessary for what stress may produce in ourselves, and each other – times of lessened energy, distracted focus or lowered emotions. Placing unrealistic expectations or demands on ourselves or each other to keep our affection or even our mood consistently heightened during transition may only lead to disappointment. Give time for the transition while seeking to solidify and focus on core values such as mutual respect, kindness, fortuity and service.
from Reducing Transitional Stress In Marriage