‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:18-25(NLT)
‘Those who trust their own insight are foolish, but anyone who walks in wisdom is safe.’ Proverbs 28:26(NLT)
‘Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.’ Colossians 3:12-17(NLT)
Scripture: Genesis 2:18–25, Proverbs 28:26, Colossians 3:12–17
Let’s be honest: no one plans to end up divorced or stuck in a lifeless marriage. Every couple comes into marriage with the best of intentions. To that end, I want to introduce you to Dan and Tracy whose “happily ever after” did not turn out the way they thought it would. They had been married for twenty-five years, and they hated each other.
This might seem like a depressing place for a study about marriage to start, but before you can fully grasp the good news of marriage—and believe me, there is good news—you must understand the whole picture.
Back to Dan and Tracy. After dating and becoming engaged, they met once with the pastor who would marry them. He warned them that they, like all other couples, would argue about in-laws and money. They decided further counseling wasn’t needed. After all, they loved each other. Unfortunately, their marriage didn’t go like they imagined. After two decades of marriage, Dan and Tracy had become roommates. No more flirting. No more dreaming together. Their kids were grown, and all they had was a shell of a marriage. They were isolated, bored, and looked elsewhere for their satisfaction.
Despite all the pain in their relationship, Dan and Tracy didn’t want a divorce. But they knew their marriage couldn’t remain in its current state. Dan admitted, “Even with our problems, from the beginning, we said divorce was never an option. I encourage all couples to make this decision before you say ‘I do.’ If you’re not in alignment on this one, then you’re not ready to get married.” They decided to get help. They began hard work on their marriage and heart work in their own lives. They invited others into their mess and started the healing process of confession, grief, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
Tracy adds, “Whenever we talk with premarried couples, we tell them to do all the hard work they can before marriage, so they understand what they are getting into when they decide to tie the knot.” Today, Dan and Tracy have made it to the other side of what could have easily ended their marriage, and it’s beautiful. On their thirty-year anniversary, they renewed their marriage vows and this time, understood what they were committing to as they said “I do, again.”
What did you grow up believing about marriage? How did your parent(s) model for or teach you what marriage should or shouldn’t look like?
from Ready Or Knot? by Scott Kedersha