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Saving Marriage ZZ

Porn Can Ruin Marriages, But There’s Hope

‘What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? ‘ Romans 8:31(NLT)

‘The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.’ 1 Corinthians 10:13(NLT)

‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.’ 2 Timothy 1:7(NLT)

‘And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:1-2(NLT)

‘Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.’ 1 Corinthians 9:24-27(NLT)

Marriage is hard work, but as you may painfully know, pornography makes it even more difficult. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of watching pornography, and you just want to stop, there is hope. Jesus did not defeat the power of death only to let sexual addiction destroy marriages! Jesus can restore you—and your marriage.

Here are five behaviors of people who live free from pornography:

Behavior #1: Decide you want to stop. Oswald Chambers says we need to make “a complete and effective decision about sin.” In other words, you have to decide you really want to stop. The power of our complete and effective, daily, outspoken decisions cannot be underestimated.

Behavior #2: Visualize “later.” It’s worth asking the question, “What’s the absolute worst thing that would happen to me if I don’t change?” For example, “What if my wife catches me watching porn?” Or, imagine the future as a father addicted to pornography, “What if my daughter caught me using porn?” Visualizing “later” doesn’t solve the problem, but it may motivate you to take the necessary steps to move away from pornography.

Behavior #3: Get brutally honest with people. The thought of sharing your past sexual struggles with anyone may seem terrifying. In fact, your spiritual enemy wants nothing more than for you to keep on believing you’ve “got this.” The truth is, you’ll continue to fail unless you invite a team of trusted friends into your healing. Find one man or one woman who’ll become your mentor or accountability partner. This person is someone who loves God and understands you.

Behavior #4: Close the open doors.

What are you using to access the pornography? Whatever device you’re using, you’ll want to close the door completely by removing access, or, if for some reason you need to keep access, utilize an accountability service to send a report of your internet usage to your trusted friends.

Behavior #5: Pray.

If you’re fighting to quit pornography, then you know it’s a war. When you choose to fight your porn addiction, it will fight you back. Imagine the prayers of soldiers going into battle. They pray for protection, strength, and survival. Does this describe your prayer life? Pray like victory is imminent. Because you have victory in Christ.

Porn can ruin marriages, but there’s hope. If you agree life without porn is a better life and want to take your first step toward living porn-free, don’t wait another day! You can take your first step to living a porn-free life today.

—Chris

from Marriage Crisis