‘Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:18-25(NLT)
‘He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.”’ Mark 9:35(NLT)
Adam had to undergo a miraculous process of becoming a servant before he was gifted a woman and a marriage.
God was moving him from just meeting his own personal needs to also meet the needs of others. Adam was not in the Garden for himself. He was created to serve—to serve others. Though Adam had a mature body, he was not as mature as the Father who lived a servant lifestyle in heaven with the Son and Holy Spirit. So, just as any father starts his child out with simple and then increasingly complex tasks as the child develops, the Father began creating the DNA of a servant in Adam the only way it can be created; by serving.
Adam had to accept responsibility for the needs of the animals all day long. People also have needs all day long, whether at work or home. It was vitally important for Adam to see the needs of others as opportunities to serve; not as impositions or inconveniences that would keep him from doing what he thought he might be entitled to do at any given moment.
These needs were brought to Adam every day, day after day, for a very long time. Serving was not just what Adam did, it was becoming who he was.
Through a process, God was imparting to Adam the ability to be responsible with the needs and identities of those around him. This was training to prepare Adam for the final stages of God’s creation; a woman, and then marriage.
This servant process is so critical. Had Adam not become a servant prior to marriage, he would have been totally ill-equipped to handle the needs of a woman, the needs of marriage, and the needs of a family. This foundational training is what God knows we need to be successful in marriage.
If we come at our marriage to be served instead of to serve the other person, we are setting ourselves up for significant, unnecessary pain. If a man or woman is not a servant, he or she is not ready for marriage. If there is not a servant at the very core of who you are, you have totally missed why you are here on planet Earth, and why you are married and received a family. Each responsibility is designed to expand your ability and capacity to serve with excellence and a great attitude.
“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man” (Genesis 2:21-22, NIV).
from Living a Servant Marriage