‘Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ‘ 1 Corinthians 7:1-5(NLT)
‘My lover is mine, and I am his. He browses among the lilies.’ Song of Songs 2:16(NLT)
‘Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Romans 12:2(NLT)
The first time I heard Tommy Nelson of Denton Bible Church teach the Song of Solomon I was amazed. I think I knew the book was a love story, but I had no idea it was that intense a love story. I listened as he described the couple making love two times. I listened as he told of their desire to make love all night long. I listened as he described sex in marriage in the most beautiful way I had ever heard. It was amazing! But then it hit me. I could not believe it. He was teaching from the Bible. You know what that did for me? It took sex from a cultural view to God’s view. It took it from the back seat of a car to the passion of the marriage bed. Sex was a gift from God, and He gave us in marriage a way to be joined to our spouse physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The Hebrew word is “dod.” It means a “mingling of souls.” It is sex at its deepest level, and it can only happen in a Christian marriage. Does it happen in every Chris-tian marriage? No, but it can. Let me give you a formula. (Guys really like formulas, and this is one that works.) When you turn the other six Secrets into steps and live them out with your spouse in your marriage, “dod” happens.
Every last one of us brings sexual baggage into our marriages. It is part of the curse of our culture. Yet God can and will heal your sexual hurts. For many of us, they are deep and the healing may take time, but we follow a God who heals and He can heal you. He wants to heal you.
So in this world we hear more about sex than ever before. It is always on TV, it is on the covers of most magazines, it is all over the internet, and it is the subject of most movies. The sad thing for our world is that none of these tell the story of sex the way God created it to be, and most people buy into the lies and thus miss out on the best sex ever.
Having a great sex life in marriage is important. Wherever it is in your marriage today, do not settle for less than God’s best. Commit to each other to let God renew your minds, heal the past, and help you have a sex life in your marriage that mirrors the Song of Solomon.
Prayer: Pray for God to heal your past sexual hurts. Then together pray for God’s blessing on your sex life as you seek to redefine it God’s way.
from 7 Secrets To An Awesome Marriage by Kim Kimberling