‘At one time all the people of the world spoke the same language and used the same words. As the people migrated to the east, they found a plain in the land of Babylonia and settled there. They began saying to each other, “Let’s make bricks and harden them with fire.” (In this region bricks were used instead of stone, and tar was used for mortar.) Then they said, “Come, let’s build a great city for ourselves with a tower that reaches into the sky. This will make us famous and keep us from being scattered all over the world.” But the Lord came down to look at the city and the tower the people were building. “Look!” he said. “The people are united, and they all speak the same language. After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them! Come, let’s go down and confuse the people with different languages. Then they won’t be able to understand each other.” In that way, the Lord scattered them all over the world, and they stopped building the city. That is why the city was called Babel, because that is where the Lord confused the people with different languages. In this way he scattered them all over the world.’ Genesis 11:1-9(NLT)
‘God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.’ Matthew 5:9(NLT)
‘But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!’ Galatians 5:22-23(NLT)
‘Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ‘ James 1:19(NLT)
Let’s face it, men and women communicate differently. Some would even say we speak different languages. Never have we found this statement to be truer until marriage.
When men communicate they often communicate with the “give them the meat, throw away the bone mentality.” However, women often want the meat, the bone, the fat, the seasoning, the marinade, the cooking temperature, and the cook time type of conversations.
Problems will arise in relationships / marriages if we don’t learn to communicate on a level that our significant other best receives from. Ladies, this means at times we must be okay with giving our men the short version of the story.
Men, if your lady wants all the details, then we must be okay with giving her all the details. The struggle with communication is communication requires patience. We all come from different backgrounds and were all raised differently. Which is why we can’t assume the way we communicate is the same way our partner will communicate.
Therefore, we need to learn to build the bridge to communication, so our communication can be unified. Have you ever asked your partner, “What’s the best way to communicate with you?” Some people shut down when the tone of one’s voice becomes too loud. Some need you to be extremely choosey with your words, while others need you to be direct with them. You’ll only understand the level of communication your partner best receives from through communicating with them.
In Genesis chapter 11 when everyone had the same language, they could build effectively. However, the moment God confused their language, they could no longer build. We know this passage refers to God confusing their language because they wanted to build their name rather that His. This isn’t something we condone, however, there is wisdom to reap from this passage.
When you’re in unison with your speech, there isn’t a goal you cannot reach. Most goals lay by the wayside because of misplaced communication.
While counseling couples, we’ve found communication is one of the biggest struggles many couples face. There is no better place to turn for help with this struggle than the Bible. There are a few scriptures that have helped us and many others learn to communicate effectively, especially in times of dispute. They are Matthew 5:9, Galatians 5:22-23, and James 1:19.
Ponder
Read through the scriptures we have listed above and ask yourself, “Have I been communicating with my spouse according to these scriptures?” If not, why and how can you fix that the next time a disagreement arises?
Prayer
Heavenly Father, I don’t know it all, but You do. I pray for the wisdom to communicate effectively with my partner. Let my words be grace-filled, edifying, and inspiring so we can glorify Your name and build our God-given dreams. In Jesus name.
from Fresh Fire For Couples